Lucha Underground recap (April 6, 2016): The Trios Tournament begins

Fade in.

Previously on Lucha Underground: Officers Reyes and Ryan are in deep cover. Sexy Star is traumatized by and lost to Mariposa. And Pentagón Jr. threatened Dario Cueto, so he was punished by Matanza and stretchered away.

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We start with Ian Hodgkinson -- I'm sorry, Vampiro -- looking at his prescription medication bottle in the gross Temple bathroom. Dario Cueto taunts him a bit, angering Vampiro. Cueto says they're lucky Pentagón is still alive. But if Vampiro lays a hand on him or his brother, he won't be so lucky.

As he walks away, he tells Vampiro he is valuable -- heck, he's practically the voice of Lucha Underground -- but pleads with him not to make the same mistake as Pentagón.

Vampiro reluctantly takes his medication.

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Elsewhere, sexy police music and ~DUTCH ANGLES~ bring us into the police/agent station, where Reyes and Ryan's chief congratulates Officer Meehan (Ryan) on a job well done, what with gathering intel that Cueto is back. Reyes is understandably miffed that Meehan is getting congratulated for basically being a buffoon.

Their boss says they need hard evidence. Meehan says no problem, because he talked to Dario and got himself -- and Reyes -- entered in the Trios Tournament. Reyes is, again, unhappy.

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Ivelisse def. Kobra Moon

Stray observations: Ivelisse's gear keeps getting cooler, as she's in all silver this week. Vampiro says she looks like a knife, which is one of the most badass and hilarious things ever. This is probably Kobra Moon's best match to date (of three), because Ivelisse rules and brings people up to her level.

After a lengthy back and forth, Ivelisse hits a sunset flip bomb to hand Kobra Moon her first loss in Lucha Underground.

What we learned: Ivelisse picks up a big win and Kobra Moon proves she can hang with the best women in Lucha Underground. This keeps one third of the trios champions looking strong as the Trios Tournament is about to get underway.

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Hey, Killshot finally gets a vignette and backstory. Holy crap, this is a little TOO real. He was in the military and shipped overseas. He was made an elite sniper, with 37 confirmed kills. All bad guys -- or so he was told. His platoon was captured and it was up to him to get them all out alive. We see a lengthy battle between him and some terrorists, where he STRAIGHT UP SHOOTS A BUNCH OF DUDES IN THE FACE.

He doesn't know if his squad members made it out okay, because according to the government, none of them ever existed. Now he fights a different kind of war. Now, he fights to forget.

This is sort of late in the game to bring a backstory this dense to a guy we've already seen for almost 50 episodes. It's kind of awesome to have "every 90s action movie protagonist" as a character in Lucha Underground. I'm going to have to wait and see what they do with this.

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FAMOUS B IN THE TEMPLE. He runs into Mascarita Sagrada in the weight room, where he immediately condescends to him. He says he's just playing, then gives him his card. He thinks Sagrada could be a HUGE star. [grins] His number flashes on the screen DURING THE CINEMATIC BACKSTAGE VIGNETTE, his music hits and he dances out of frame.

As he does, he passes the Mack, walking into the weight room, where Sexy Star is ALSO working out, really pushing herself. Mack apologizes to her, because he's been paired with Marty and Mariposa for the Trios Tournament, against his will. He says he still has her back for whatever she's going through. Sexy Star goes back to lifting weights, but now she's hearing Marty and Mariposa's voices in her head.

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Trios Tournament First Round Match: Cortez Castro, Mr. Cisco & Joey Ryan def. Marty "The Moth" Martinez, Mariposa & The Mack

Stray observations: The Crew and Joey are DEFINITELY not on the same page, as he runs in front of them to pose during their intro. UNLIKELY TRIO VICE.

Mack and Mr. Cisco start things off, as Joey is bossing his team around already. Striker once again puts over Cisco as one of the most dangerous people in Lucha Underground and I'm going to be really sad if we go this entire season without him pulling a knife on someone.

Mack hits an armdrag and Matt Striker refers to him as "lucha Ron Funches" because RON FUNCHES IS IN THE FRONT ROW HELL YES. They keep cutting to Funches nodding his approval, which is wonderful.

Later in the match, Joey demands to get in the ring with Mariposa and has the referee hold his Blow Pop. Mariposa slaps Joey in the face and we're off to the races. Marty and Mariposa have matching gear now and if this turns out to be some sort of Cruel Intentions situation I am just going to lose it. In a good way, I mean.

Mariposa and Marty keep tagging each other in, avoiding the Mack getting involved. Striker and Vampiro make allusions to Marty being a potential John Wayne Gacy.

Joey steals a hot tag from Castro as Mack tags himself in. Things finally break down and Mariposa interrupts Mack as he goes for a dive, so he boots her off the apron and dives onto all five people. Mack goes for the kill, but Marty tags himself back in again. They start trading shots, then Mack hits him with a Stunner. Marty bounces into a double team from the Crew and Joey sweeps in for the pin to make his team advance. Joey celebrates like he just won the Stanley Cup while the Crew stare at him in disgust.

Mariposa hits the ring, beating down the Mack. Sexy Star slides into the ring, but once again starts to shy away when Mariposa turns to face her. Finally she screams and takes the fight to Mariposa. She puts the boots to Mariposa before Marty finally pulls her out of the ring.

What we learned: Sexy Star has finally made the first step in overcoming her trauma. She and the Mack once again stand against the Creepy Siblings and we're certainly headed to another showdown.

Unlikely Trio Vice is still dealing with their own stuff, of course. It's only a matter of time before Joey pushes things a little too far and gets shanked. It's going to be glorious.

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Rey Mysterio meets with Dragón Azteca Jr. on the Temple roof. Dragón Azteca is upset that Matanza killed his mentor, but Rey says they fight for their tribe's honor now. He says he got them a spot in the Trios Tournament and they have a match next week. Dragón Azteca asks who their partner is. Up steps PRINCE PUMA.

AND THEN PRINCE PUMA SPEAKS FOR THE FIRST TIME EVER IN LUCHA UNDERGROUND:

"Me."

Rey says he found Puma fighting on the streets, just like Azteca found Azteca Jr. Azteca says, "Now we fight together." Prince Puma says, "Damn right we do."

AND THEN THEY LOOK AT THE SKY LIKE THE BOSSES THEY ARE. HELLLLLLLL YES.

Man, after all the fake-outs of having Puma speak before, they finally accomplished it in the most badass way possible. I love the hell out of this company.

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Lucha Underground Championship Match: Matanza Cueto def. Fénix

Stray observations: Vampiro explains Fénix's "Animo" chant and his explanation is wonderful. Striker then explains for the first time that "Matanza" translates to "slaughter," which is appropriately badass.

Matanza begins pounding on Fénix early and often, giving him a release German suplex into the turnbuckles that was gnarly as shit. Dario starts yelling, "SANGRE, SANGRE." That dude has a real problem. Fénix manages to be the first person to evade the Wrath of the Gods, but Matanza just whomps on him harder for his insolence.

Fénix rings Matanza's bell, but as he recovers by the ropes, Dario says to him in Spanish, "Remember mother." YOU KNOW; THE MOTHER THAT MATANZA BEAT TO DEATH WITH A CERAMIC BULL. Holy lord, you guys.

In short order, Matanza hits the Wrath of the Gods and that's all she wrote for Fénix. Dario instructs Matanza to beat on Fénix even more after the match, but then CATRINA APPEARS AT THE TOP OF THE STEPS, YELLING, "STOP!"

Matanza looks up. Mil Muertes hits the ring from the other side and punches Matanza out of the ring. The Cuetos take a powder. Catrina holds up the rock and then Fénix locks eyes with his starcrossed love, confused. She smiles as she leaves, ending the episode.

What we learned: Matanza has been making Mil Muertes look like Bengala (no diss), which is totally appropriate given the character's mythos. The only real question is why Dario waited so long to release him upon the world. I guess he just wanted to see how much trouble he could get up to on his own when he started Lucha Underground. I get it.

Now Muertes will attempt to step up and prove HE is the evil force to be reckoned with in Lucha Underground. But does Catrina still harbor feelings for Fénix? Are she and Muertes making a turn to the light side? Hopefully all will soon be revealed.

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And we're out. This was a wonderful, wonderful episode. I absolutely loved it. Maybe I'm still just flying high on Famous B and "Puma speaking" fumes, but I'm feeling no pain right now. See you all back here again next week.