FanPost

Ranking Royal Rumbles: Number 18-1997


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What!!!!

(The Rumble where Austin probably shouldn't have won, technically didn't win, and was not given the main event at Wrestlemania).

Storytelling: 2/5 Stars

Match Quality: 3/5 Stars

Finish: 2/5 Stars

Winner: 3/5 Stars

Extracurriculars: 2/5 Stars-Just way too many stupid wrestlers in this match

TOTAL: 12/25 Stars

Great Moment You May Have Forgotten: Gotta love Jerry Lawler, who makes being eliminated in 4 seconds look fun, then denies he was ever in the match, heeling at it's finest.

Moment You Wish You Weren't Reminded Of: Pick your rash of stupid eliminations, from Ahmed Johnson to Mil Mascaras, to the Foley/Funk brawl that led to Austin not being noticed.

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For all intents and purpose, the year 1997 was a big improvement on the company that was about to embark on the highly acclaimed Attitude Era. Big stars were making names, a new wave of talent that was actually talented was wrestling, and the Rumble was stacked with a card that was the best they've seen in years. So why some of the awful booking decisions and a cockamamy ending occurred is beyond me.

We'll work this match as chronologically as we can. First the clock was broken and we had no idea when someone was coming out, ruining what is the most fun purposeful fan participation in wrestling. Then, Ahmed Johnson, embattled in an "iconic" match with Crush, sees his bitter rival Faarooq coming out, and decided to jump over the top rope and eliminate himself to go after him. JUST GO THROUGH THE MIDDLE ROPE EINSTEIN!!!! After an appearance from...sigh Fake Razor Ramon, and whatever Mideon was before Mideon, the man that made this Rumble came out, Stone Cold Steve Austin.

Austin was not quite yet the mega star he would become, but he was growing rapidly and was destined to play a major role in this match, but probably not win. Well he goes on a rampage and eliminates everybody, including Jake Roberts in what I think was his final WWE match. Before we got to Austin alone for a while in the ring, there was plenty of lack of action, from a bunch of Mexican guys you never heard of, to Sable and Marlena supporting whoever their men were, to Owen Hart eliminating Bulldog. But lest I forget the reoccurrence of Faarooq and Ahmed Johnson who both once again eliminated themselves from the match. Adding to the department of conceited idiocy is Mexican legend Mil Mascara, who eliminated himself rather than have a small WWE name take him out (this was just mass stupidity by wrestlers who unsurprisingly never got over in the WWE).

Eventually, after Austin cleans more house, Bret Hart came, and the good portion of this match was finally on. Minus the hilarious antics of Jerry Lawler, all the wrestlers who rounded the Rumble out actually had a chance to win. Honestly, there was about 7 or 8 guys who could have won and I would be fine with it, provided the shenanigans that occurred didn't happen. Austin, Hart, sigh Fake Diesel (you thankfully know him as Kane now), Undertaker, Vader, Mankind, Terry Funk (and his cousin Flash was in it also), heck even up and coming Rocky Maivia all had a chance to be a worthy winner. So let's do something stupid instead to end the match.

Towards the end, Terry Funk and Mankind eliminated each other, and a brawl ensues. Naturally the refs huddle over to the other side to stop the madness. Meanwhile, Hart actually did what he probably wanted more than winning and tossed Austin out! Austin's eliminated!!! We have a story for the rising star to go towards.

Oh, never mind, the refs didn't see it. Austin runs back into the ring and eliminates everyone else, including Bret Hart, to "win" the Rumble match. Even though all the announcers (regardless of what Lawler didn't "see") saw it, and the fans, and hell even the one referee who was facing the side when it happened, we are just gonna let bygones be bygones and let Austin keep the victory.

Austin winning was an ok choice (it was much better the following year), but the way it went down was just all kinds of terrible. Luckily, this would soon be convoluted more by all the different showdowns that somehow led to Sid vs the Undertaker as the Mania main event, while Bret and Austin stole the show on the undercard. It was a mediocre Rumble with some cool spots but unintelligible workers performing.

You can watch all kinds of shenanigans of this match on the network, all the videos I find are broken, like this finish. Tomorrow features announcing that set wrestling back a generation, and it didn't feature Michael Cole. Plus, a man incorporates the smartest strategy in Royal Rumble history. Tune it Super-friends and some Super-enemies.

Ranking Royal Rumbles: A Retrospective

Number 28: 1995

Number 27: 1988

Number 26: 1991

Number 25: 2015

Number 24: 1989

Number 23: 1994

Number 22: 1999

Number 21: 2014

Number 20: 2011

Number 19: 1993

The FanPosts are solely the subjective opinions of Cageside Seats readers and do not necessarily reflect the views of Cageside Seats editors or staff.