Royal Rumble 2009 Dumbest Ass Award: Undertaker

The Royal Rumble match is a 30 man over the top rope battle royal, and it's every man for himself. That invites strategy. It's a tactical war as much as a test of physical strength and endurance. Too often, wrestlers either forget this fact or ignore it completely. They do so by engaging in such ridiculously dumb behavior like outright stopping eliminations from occurring. There are exceptions, of course, like tag teams or factions attempting to work together to give themselves the best chance to win but generally, it's a really stupid idea to stop an elimination.

In each Royal Rumble, there are always wrestlers who stop multiple eliminations. In some cases, a wrestler will stop an elimination that has a monumental effect on the match and is detrimental to his chances of winning in a way he ultimately cannot overcome. I like to refer to such a wrestler as the "Dumbest Ass." Special considerations made for other stupidity.

Here, we'll hand out the award for "Dumbest Ass" in each of the Royal Rumble matches that have taken place so far.

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2009

Even a guy who hears voices in his head is smarter than Undertaker.

Dumbasses

John Morrison

I offer this screengrab:

He stood there and watched Carlito set up for a moonsault off the top rope and did nothing but take it. You dumbass.

1. When his tag team partner, The Miz, got in they hooked up to team together on Randy Orton. They even picked him up and ... dropped him down over their knees. Because why bother even trying to throw him out in a Royal Rumble, right guys?

The Miz

1. See above.

Great Khali

1. He laid waste to literally everyone in the ring. But instead of eliminating any of them, he just waited for the next guy to come out. That next guy eliminated him.

Triple H

1. Mike Knox had it in for Rey Mysterio and he was using his love of tormenting the little guy to eliminate Rey. Thankfully for Mysterio Triple H was all the way across the ring with nothing but stupidity in his head, so he ran over and put a stop to it.

CM Punk

1. Committed the cardinal sin of lifting a guy up over his shoulders and failing to throw him over the top rope. Worse, he did this just to hit his finish, the Go To Sleep. The object of the match is to throw people over the top rope, Punk, not put them to sleep.

Rey Mysterio

1. He went up to the second rope in the corner to attack Mike Knox. This is a really dumb play for a guy his size. Knox wasn't able to eliminate him but that doesn't mean it wasn't stupid as hell.

Mark Henry

1. He beats up CM Punk a bit, throws him over the top rope, watches Punk save himself, and just walks off to go punch someone else.

Shelton Benjamin

1. This is the second Royal Rumble in a row he's done this dumb shit. CM Punk and Chris Jericho are having the world's worst battle on the top rope, where they're both just hanging on and throwing weak headbutts every now and again when Benjamin goes running up, grabs them both, and when they let go of the ropes and are at his mercy, he brings them crashing down to the mat back in the ring. I'm not sure he's aware of the rules. That has to be it.

Cody Rhodes

This is the dumbest shit in the world. He gets together with Ted DiBiase, a stablemate in Legacy, and they've got Triple H in a real tight spot, up and over the top rope and The Game is barely hanging on. They just need a bit of extra push and they can finish the job. It's right at that moment they decide they would rather not and just stop what they're doing.

They both just walked away to do other things while Triple H easily slid back in the ring. He later eliminated both of them.

Ted DiBiase

1. See above.

Undertaker

This made for a funny moment but it was only possible because Undertaker was dumb. Chris Jericho had just eliminated Rob Van Dam and was feeling really good about it, not realizing what was happening behind him.

Then he suddenly remembered he's in a Royal Rumble and something is most definitely happening behind him.

OH SHIT.

Lucky for Jericho, 'Taker thought the best play here was to wait for him to turn around and headbutt him. In fairness, Undertaker did toss Jericho out not long after this.

1. Hooked up with Kane for a huge choke slam on Ted DiBiase ... in the middle of the ring, instead of over the top rope. Great work, fellas! Well on your way to victory!
2. Holy mother of what the hell, man. He hits Big Show over the top rope and then steps back to watch Show save himself. COME ON. He even let Show STAND BACK UP on the apron before physically engaging him again. This, of course, led to Show grabbing him by the throat for a choke slam to drag him out on the apron. Luckily for Undertaker he wins the little confrontation they have and Randy Orton shows up to hit Show with an RKO to send him out.
3. BUT WAIT. You knew there was more. Undertaker, having gone over the top rope and still standing on the apron, and having JUST watched Orton RKO Show out of the match, just stands there. He does not immediately climb back into the ring where he'll be relatively safe. When Orton gets up and near him, he punches Orton and STILL doesn't get back in the ring. Cody Rhodes and Ted DiBiase rush over from across the ring and he grabs both of their throats and stares them down just long enough for Big Show to get up and pull Undertaker's legs out from under him, eliminating him from the match. Unreal.

Kane

1. As mentioned previously, he got together with Undertaker for a huge choke slam on Ted DiBiase but put him down in the ring instead of over the top rope.
2. Both Rob Van Dam and Finlay are trying to eliminate Mike Knox in the corner. Kane, eager to do some punching, blasted them both. Hey, man, anything goes when you're eager to do some punching.

Hacksaw Jim Duggan

1. This man won a Royal Rumble in his lifetime but you wouldn't know it from watching him in this one. He gets in hot and there's Chris Jericho trying to eliminate Triple H, a dangerous competitor if there ever was one. Ol' Hacksaw does a drive by back shot to stop it. I say "drive by" because he landed two punches and just kept on rolling.

Triple H, Rey Mysterio, Finlay, Kane, Cody Rhodes, Ted DiBiase, Randy Orton, R-Truth, Undertaker, Kofi Kingston, Chris Jericho, Mike Knox, CM Punk

1. They're listed this way because it's easier. Rob Van Dam is a surprise entrant in the match at number 25 and he gets in by jumping up on the top rope and hitting a kick on his way down. EVERYONE in the ring just stood there and watched him do this. Apparently the shock of seeing him rendered them all too dumb to function. Very shortly after, he once again went up to the top rope only this time he worked the gimmick getting the crowd to chant his name along him with. This took FOREVER and NO ONE did anything about it. Only Triple H ran over to try to push him out and he waited until RVD had already finished leading the crowd. This was some of the dumbest shit I've ever seen in a Royal Rumble match.

The Dumbest Ass

Undertaker

This was his last Royal Rumble match and he went out with a bang. You know, for as often as WWE talks about how dominant he's been throughout his career, it's a wonder he only won a single Royal Rumble match. Well, thanks to this series, it's a wonder no longer. In fact, it's a damn miracle he emerged victorious the one time he did. Either way, he goes back-to-back a second time to win Dumbest Ass for the FOURTH time in his career. He was in a total of 10 Royal Rumble matches.

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Previous "Dumbest Ass" award winners:

1989: Bad News Brown
1990: Ultimate Warrior
1991: British Bulldog
1992: Hulk Hogan
1993: Randy Savage
1994: Lex Luger
1995: Lex Luger
1996: Diesel
1997: Mil Mascaras
1998: Disciples of Apocalypse
1999: Stone Cold Steve Austin
2000: Big Show
2001: The Rock
2002: Undertaker
2003: Undertaker
2004: Big Show
2005: Rey Mysterio
2006: Big Show
2007: Shawn Michaels
2008: Undertaker