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Royal Rumble 2003 Dumbest Ass Award: Undertaker

The Royal Rumble match is a 30 man over the top rope battle royal, and it's every man for himself. That invites strategy. It's a tactical war as much as a test of physical strength and endurance. Too often, wrestlers either forget this fact or ignore it completely. They do so by engaging in such ridiculously dumb behavior like outright stopping eliminations from occurring. There are exceptions, of course, like tag teams or factions attempting to work together to give themselves the best chance to win but generally, it's a really stupid idea to stop an elimination.

In each Royal Rumble, there are always wrestlers who stop multiple eliminations. In some cases, a wrestler will stop an elimination that has a monumental effect on the match and is detrimental to his chances of winning in a way he ultimately cannot overcome. I like to refer to such a wrestler as the "Dumbest Ass." Special considerations made for other stupidity.

Here, we'll hand out the award for "Dumbest Ass" in each of the Royal Rumble matches that have taken place so far.

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2003

It wasn't just for one year after all. The biggest dog in the yard was, once again, also the dumbest.

Dumbasses

Shawn Michaels

  1. This may be a record for quickest dumbass in a Royal Rumble. Michaels is entrant number one and he waits for entrant two, Chris Jericho. Y2J's music plays but when the lights come up, we see Christian near the entrance. Michaels just stares at him and wonders what's going on, never thinking that maybe it was simple misdirection and Jericho would be coming up behind him. That's exactly what happened. He was eliminated in just over two minutes after Jericho put an absolute beating on him.

Rey Mysterio

  1. While teaming up with Edge, they tossed Chris Jericho out ... through the ropes instead of over. Come on, guys. After doing this, they came together in the middle of the ring, looked at each other, shrugged their shoulders, and started fighting. It is as though neither of the two could come up with any other plan of action. Meanwhile Chris Jericho was still selling on the outside. You'll never guess who eliminated both of these idiots later on.

Edge

  1. See above.
  2. B2 is rushing the ring while Edge is trying to toss Chavo Guerrero and Edge breaks away just to run into a clothesline.

Chris Nowinski

  1. He came in behind Rey Mysterio and Edge at a great time, while they were both vulnerable, and tossed them over the top rope. He didn't check to make sure they both actually went out, though, electing instead to celebrate like he just won the world title. Naturally, he was beaten up and eliminated by Mysterio not long after.

Tommy Dreamer

  1. My man comes in wielding an assortment of foreign objects, giving him an immediate edge over everyone else in the ring. He goes to work with 'em too, just blasting everyone he sees. But, like a dope, he celebrates this like he actually accomplished something, allowing Christian and Chris Jericho to recover, grab some of the weapons Dreamer brought, double team him with those weapons, then toss him out.

B2

  1. What a stupid name. This guy rushes in and starts rushing over for the first guy he sees, Edge, who is trying to eliminate Chavo Guerrero. Clothesline. Then, because he's dumber than a brick, he runs over and punches Chavo back into the ring just to go all the way around the ring to make sure he hits everyone. He had no real plan of attack other than "run around and attack everyone." He ran at Edge a second time and was eliminated just 24 seconds after he got into the match.

Eddie Guerrero

  1. Upon entering the match, Eddie sees Matt Hardy trying to dump Rob Van Dam and immediately rushes over to punch him in the back. Then he focuses all his attention on RVD. That's weird.

Shortly after that, RVD gets control and works his usual wacky offense. This includes the most baffling moment ever. Look at this:

Geez Eddie

Eddie has him. He literally has his arms wrapped around RVD's legs while Van Dam is playing to the crowd working the gimmick getting them to say his name. Guerrero just sits like that instead of just tossing him over. To have RVD in this position and not toss him out is inexcusable. What's more, he got thrown across the ring because he didn't. And we can't even use fatigue as an excuse because he had been in the match for all of 45 seconds.

Matt Hardy

  1. He's sitting in the corner watching RVD beat on Eddie Guerrero, rightfully doing nothing about it. When he decides to get into the action it's just as Van Dam has Eddie over the top rope trying to eliminate him. He fights RVD off and, I kid you not, literally pulls Guerrero back into the ring.
  2. After all that happens, Hardy tells Eddie to go up to the top rope. The plan is to set him up to hit the Frog Splash. So Hardy body slams RVD and then just stands there while Eddie gets on the top rope and hits it. What the hell? This would be great strategy if the idea was to rush Eddie while he was up top and easily eliminate him, which he could have. It will not surprise you one bit to learn that as soon as Eddie got up from hitting the Frog Splash, Hardy started fighting him. Once he laid him out, he celebrated like he had won the match while multiple guys are tired and hurt laid out around him.

Rosey

  1. As soon as he gets in, he stops Rob Van Dam from eliminating Matt Hardy.

Charlie Haas

  1. The theme in this Royal Rumble is that no one has a brain when they first enter the match. This time, Haas stops Rosey from tossing Test. It's great, though, because he ends up getting beat up for it.

Jeff Hardy

  1. Rob Van Dam sends him into the corner and Hardy chooses to jump up onto the top rope. RVD rightfully just runs over and pushes him out with ease.

Chris Jericho

This man had been in the match for a long time when this happened:

Come on Chris

Come on, Jericho.

Shelton Benjamin

  1. Continuing the trend of idiocy upon entry into the match, Benjamin got in and catapulted over his partner, Charlie Haas, to land on John Cena, who went crashing to the mat. Haas was in the process of getting him out of the match. Great strategy! Ain't no stopping you now!

A-Train

  1. Had a guy up over his shoulders and slammed him to the mat instead of out. Cardinal sin.

Goldust

  1. This is ridiculous. Goldust gets thrown into the ropes by Charlie Haas, where he runs into Shelton Benjanmin. He turns to start beating on Shelton and while he's doing so, sneaks a couple of glances behind him. That's a smart decision, considering what had just happened. Amazingly enough, he didn't do anything about what he saw. He just allowed Haas to come up behind him and eliminate him. This might be one of the dumbest eliminations I've ever seen.

Rob Van Dam

  1. Jamal is trying to eliminate Kane and RVD comes from behind and starts kicking him in the legs. They were tag team partners but keep in mind, Kane at this point was firmly established as a dominant Rumble competitor. Anything to get him out. But no, he's a dumbass. Guess who eliminated RVD later?

Maven

  1. He hit Undertaker with a dropkick from behind the same as 2001, though 'Taker wasn't as close to the ropes as he was that year. Because of that, he didn't come anywhere close to going over the top but Maven's dumbass celebrated like he had done the impossible yet again. Then he turned around into a choke slam and was immediately eliminated.

Brock Lesnar

  1. Had Kane up on his shoulders for the F-5 and completed it inside the ring. Why not just do it near the ropes and throw him out with it? That's just not smart, man.
  2. I don't know what the hell this was. Undertaker was running at him near the ropes when he picked him up and dropped him down on the top rope. Then, instead of sending him the rest of the way out, he pushed 'Taker back into the ring. The hell, Brock.

Undertaker

  1. Very shortly after Brock Lesnar had saved him from elimination, after being the one who nearly eliminated him, Undertaker picked him up over his shoulders so he could ... Tombstone him. Look, there's value in a finish in a Royal Rumble match but if you've got a guy up over your shoulder, you have to throw that guy out.
  2. My god, he went full Big Show here, failing to learn from past mistakes. He had eliminated Batista before teasing a team up with Kane just to turn on him and eliminate him. Smart play there, which got it down to just Undertaker and Brock Lesnar in the match. Then Batista comes running back into the ring with a chair and The Deadman sends him out with it with very little issue. But after doing so, he went over to the ropes to look down on Batista. This gave Lesnar all the opening he needed to run over and easily throw Undertaker over the top.

The Dumbest Ass

Undertaker

Failing to learn from past mistakes will doom you every time. He won this award for 2002 because he allowed someone to eliminate him because he was yelling at someone on the outside he had already eliminated, and he was right next to the ropes not protecting his backside while doing so. In 2002, this happened early in the match. It's even worse here because he was literally one of the final two and his being The Dumbest Ass gave Brock Lesnar the win.

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Previous "Dumbest Ass" award winners:

1989: Bad News Brown
1990: Ultimate Warrior
1991: British Bulldog
1992: Hulk Hogan
1993: Randy Savage
1994: Lex Luger
1995: Lex Luger
1996: Diesel
1997: Mil Mascaras
1998: Disciples of Apocalypse
1999: Stone Cold Steve Austin
2000: Big Show
2001: The Rock
2002: Undertaker