NXT/WWE Superstar's Brilliant Critique of the Human Condition

Wrestling is the purest form of sport yet devised by man. Anyone who claims otherwise is, at best, a conspiracy theorist, and at worst a sociopath.

That being said, there is more to wrestling than simply the distilled struggle between two opposing forces. For instance, NXT Superstar Tye Dillinger has recently taken to calling himself the "Perfect 10."

This new sobriquet is codified by a flawless physique, impeccable ring technique, and most notably, an elaborate entrance complete with a giant "10" judge's sign both on the Titantron and held in the ring by Dillinger himself.

Everything about the entrance is beyond reproach... except for a weird white smudge on the sign.

You might regard this as a simple error. I would rebut that notion by reminding you that this man is the "Perfect 10." That's ten out of ten. We've already established that professional wrestling is completely authentic in every way, therefore it's impossible to accept Dillinger's claims of perfection at anything less than face value.

That doesn't leave any room for this type of error. He's perfect. Deal with it.

Yet the blemish exists.

The true question is its intent. Is it wry satire on the possibility of true perfection in a chaotic and inherently imperfect universe? Perhaps a window into the very heart of human nature? A subliminal advertisement from our friends at Liquid Paper?

I can't hope to tell you the answer. Then again, I've never claimed to be perfect, so I've allowed myself room for uncertainty and fear.

Tye Dillinger, you've allowed yourself no such tolerances, but you've no need to. In addition to every other human attribute, your sense of irony is a "Perfect 10."

***

OFFICIAL WRESTLER WRANKINGS FORMULA

ANY WIN = 2 POINTS

US OR INTERCONTINENTAL TITLE BOUT = 1 POINT

WWE WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT TITLE BOUT = 3 POINTS

NON "BIG 4" PPV BONUS = 1.5X

SUMMERSLAM, SURVIVOR SERIES, ROYAL RUMBLE = 2X BONUS

WRESTLEMANIA = 3X BONUS

The WWE season begins on the day after WrestleMania 31 and culminates with WrestleMania 32. The wrestler who accumulates the most points over the course of the season, wins the coveted Wrankings Championship!

Monday Night Raw-- 8/10/15

Randy Orton - 5 points (WWE title bout, win)

Seth Rollins - 3 points (WWE title bout, no win)

Neville - 2 points (win)

Luke Harper - 2 points (win)

Main Event-- 8/11/15

Rusev - 2 points (win)

Jack Swagger - 2 points (win)

Smackdown-- 8/13/15

Roman Reigns - 2 points (win)

-----------------------------------

WRESTLER WRANKINGS, WEEK 20 *TOP TEN*

1. Seth Rollins -- 56.5 points

2. Neville -- 53

3. John Cena -- 43.5

4. Ryback -- 39

5. Dean Ambrose -- 36.5

6. Randy Orton -- 35

7. Bad News Barrett -- 33.5

8. Roman Reigns -- 33.5

9. Sheamus -- 27.5

10. Rusev -- 26

notable:

T37: Tye Dillinger -- 0

Thanks for reading, Cagesiders. We'll see you back here next week!