Want to know what's happening in the major angles in WWE right now? Get eyes on our Raw preview and Reactions, since everyone knows Monday night is when the important stuff happens.
Want to know what is definitely happening on tonight's SmackDown from Lincoln, Nebraska - the fallout show for the fallout show from last Sunday's Battleground pay-per-view (PPV)? Peep our spoiler post.
On Thursday mornings, we'll dig into the mid-card, the interesting and/or horrible stuff happening on the fringe away from your John Cenas and Brock Lesnars. Plus, pretend for a spoiler-free minute that we're the Legendary Teddy Long and guess at the blue brand's patented tag match of the week!
Are you not entertained by my briefcase?
Here's your daily reminder that Sheamus walked out of Money in the Bank with a briefcase containing a contract for a WWE championship shot at a time and place of his choosing.
This week, that wasn't the only thing The Celtic Warrior was walking out of...and, no, we're not talking about smoking United jets. On Raw, Sheamus and Kevin Owens left Rusev hanging in the six-man main event, because there's no honor among heels.
What they should do: Three way hoss fight, anyone? Seriously, given this week's KO news, what the heck could possibly be more entertaining to watch an unhinged Owens decide to work out his frustrations on The Bulgarian Brute and the mohawked Irishman? I'd be seriously concerned about all three men's physical well-being (because they'd beat the crap out of each other), but it would be the first time I can almost guarantee that I'd answer enthusiastically in the affirmative when Sheamus does his Gladiator schtick.
And I know we're supposed to believe that Kev isn't in the plans for SummerSlam, but wouldn't a Triple Threat between these beasts be even more awesome with the briefcase on the line. Might even be a chance to correct the "oops, we swerved to hard" decision to make Sheamus Mr. Money in the Bank...
What we're afraid they'll do: More bland babyface Randy Orton. In fact, I think I'm more worried that they'll pair The Viper up with KO than I am that they'll keep his issues with Sheamus going.
That's ShowMiz, kid
Intercontinental champion Ryback (yep, that's still true, too) is on the mend, so The Miz has been wearing his Cornholio Snuggie to the ring and making fun of his old tag partner, The Big Show. This has generally resulted in his getting knocked out. The World's Largest Athlete would challenge the Hungry One to show up during his guest stint on Tough Enough, but he did not. Nor did Show knock out The Miz as he hosted the 'reality' competition's post-show.
What they should do: Put ShowMiz back together! For real, The Awesome One is too entertaining to not have in a fairly large role on the main shows, yet we all know that his past booking - if not his own limitations - prohibit him from being taken too seriously as a singles wrestler by the masses. Everyone but Vince McMahon knows Show's best days are behind him. Put them together and let them battle Prime Time Players for a while (before eventually giving the tag belts back to The New Day, of course).
What we're afraid they'll do: Send Miz off to host a weekly Total Divas after-party while the Big Show vs. Big Guy feud rages across the Autumn.
Meanwhile, back at the Hall of Justice
Raw didn't have nearly enough of the Stardust vs. Neville action we were treated to last week, or the great comic book-inspired bumper graphics that probably herald the arrival of Stephen "Arrow" Amell to the program in time for SummerSlam.
We now pause to bring you the GIF version of The Man That Gravity Forgot's intro that went along with the one for the Strange One above:
Can we have more of this please? We're not even worried about a Hollywood guy, or Cody Rhodes not maximizing his potential, or the former Adrian getting lost in the shuffle. Let them wrestle and give us cool animated 'Trons.
The Theodore Long Honorary Tag Match goes to...
Was totally going to guess that Seth Rollins would team with someone - probably Show in Kane's absence -to face Ambreigns or the super-Cena friends from Monday night, Cesaro and Orton. But since Michael Cole spoiled the groovy news that the Swiss Superman is facing the WWE champ one-on-one tonight, we'll give the nod to some lady playas...tonight's other pre-announced match, Team B.A.D.'s Sasha Banks & Naomi vs. The Bellas.
Really wish they'd let Foxy Bella wrestle more, though.
(Note: I know some folks have come looking for a more definitive match listing - that will be posted behind spoiler text in the comments. If WWE.com releases more information on anything that's officially going to take place on tonight's show, that'll be updated here)