WWE Elimination Chamber 2015 match card preview: Seth Rollins vs. Dean Ambrose

WHO?

Colby Daniel Lopez, aka Seth Rollins. Age 29. 6'1", 225 lbs. from Buffalo, Iowa, residing in Davenport, Iowa. WWE Heavyweight Champion of the World. Once led The Shield and The Age of The Fall. First ever NXT Champion. Former FCW Champion. Former ROH World Champion. Once known as Tyler Black and Taj the Destroyer. Once sold out his homies to ride with COO H and the Authority. Bratty little kid. Creepy little bastard. Traitorface. Ruiner of the WWE. Seriously, have you seen WWE's misfortunes since their chairshot heard ‘round the world? It's all Seth's fault. I also blame him for Sepp Blatter getting reelected. The man's destroying football as we know it with his corrupt bullshit. Once was engaged before some mess with a couple of naughty photos. May still be engaged. Who knows. I'm sure someone can answer that.

Jonathan Good, aka Dean Ambrose. Age 29. 6'4", 225 lbs. from Cincinnati, Ohio, resides in Las Vegas, Nevada. Former WWE United States Champion. Actually the longest reigning WWE United States Champion ever. Once known in a past life as Jon Moxley. Former CZW World Champion. Former Full Impact Pro World Champion. Thrice Heartland Wrestling Association Champion. Crazy. Deranged. Unstable. Not a known giver of fucks. Still has not forgiven Seth Rollins for ruining his life. Will tie the WWE Championship in paperwork for years if he wins. Master of titties. Dating Renee Young. Sometimes referred to as Dean Fucking Ambrose.

WHY ARE THEY FIGHTING?

Because... seriously, there's some shit that needs to be settled. Oh, and there's this other thing...

WHAT'S AT STAKE?

The WWE World Heavyweight Championship.

HISTORY

As if you need a history. But history, I will give.

June 2, 2014, 11:05pm.

For an entire year, Dean Ambrose has been on a quest to get payback on the man that ruined the best thing in WWE by miles and miles and miles. Ok, it wasn't miles and miles and miles. It just became miles and miles and miles when Daniel Bryan went down with a neck injury.

But during the time Dean was chasing Seth, Seth was chasing greatness. That summer, he won Money in the Bank. The man he last took out on his way to that briefcase: Dean Ambrose. Ambrose made a vow following that night: Seth would never see his cash in moment. While the "lunatic fringe" struggled to win on PPV (including falling on consecutive shows to Rollins), Seth was counting the days until his greatest moment of triumph.

It came at Wrestlemania 31 when during the midst of the WWE Championship, Rollins cashed in his Money in the Bank. In a moment now lost to the dustbin of history due to litigation regarding concussion issues, Rollins curbstomped both Brock Lesnar and the man he chairshotted nine months earlier: the third man of the Shield, Roman Reigns. Where was the man who swore to stop him? He was incapacitated in the show's opening match by Luke Harper.

In the two months since, Rollins has played the role of bratty weasel champion to perfection, often running from fights. He ran from Brock Lesnar, a man who is surely going to kill him upon his return--which will be sooner than first anticipated. He's run from, but ultimately defeated, Randy Orton on consecutive PPVs.

But it all comes back to that one night. Old enemies--who were allies for a flicker two weeks ago--have resurfaced. It's like that sometimes when championship gold is at stake.

Dean Ambrose was gonna get one more shot, and people were going to die if he was told anything other than he got his match (not really, but then you never know. This is a man who once wrestled with light tubes, weed whackers, and chainsaws, so the man probably cannot be reasoned with). Yeah, he was taken out about two minutes after he got the match, but he got the match anyways.

Or so he thought. They had to get it in writing, of course, and as long as Dean signed the contract, he got his match. That in and of itself became a challenge and basically the A-plot on the last episode of RAW. Somewhere in this fracas, Dean accidentally knocks over a cameraman and is arrested for assault. With the challenger for the WWE Championship in handcuffs, it looked as if Seth was gonna have the weekend off.

Or was he?

Dean, of course, returns. With help. And a paddy wagon. Ambreings cleans house and Dean signs on the line that is dotted. Guess you're no longer not booked, Seth. It's good to have friends in law enforcement. And in sports entertainment.

WHO WINS?

In a perfect world, Dean Ambrose finally gets his payback that he's had coming for a long, long, long time, and what better way to do that than to take the biggest piece in Seth's life? I'm of course not talking about his fiance. Or girlfriend.

WINNER

But a perfect world, this is not. Seth Rollins retains tonight due to interference by Kane, Big Show, J&J Security, and possibly Roman Reigns. I have a sneaking suspicion Roman will have a significant say in who wins.

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