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Eva Marie's Reevaluation (2015)

Her name is Eva Marie and Cageside Seats readers have reported back on what they love and loathe about the "Total Divas" star. Here's the full evaluation.

You have the floor today, Cagesiders.

What you loved:


"At least she’s a Giants fan. Go Giants."


"That I really don’t have to worry about that whole Skynet thing becoming a reality if this is the best Cyberdyne Systems can come up with on their base models."


"I like the hair color. Very vibrant. It works for her."


"Coffee in the morning, puppies, and craft beer."

Zombie Shakespeare:

"If you’re pretty there’s really no reason to get better at wrestling. Great role model for children. Lots of memorable matches in the past year, too hard to single out one as being her best."


"She has a supremely marketable face as evidenced by her multiple spreads in Maxim, Muscle and Fitness, etc. She lives a straight-edge lifestyle which is admirable considering WWE’s constant promotion of talent as role models. She catches a lot of grief for her lack of in-ring and on-mic ability (and rightfully so), but she clearly has some marketable qualities and mainstream appeal which make her a valuable asset to WWE."

The Beast Incarnate:

"Love: Bacon"

What you loathed:


"Eva is just astounding in how much she has utterly failed to improve at all. What’s more, it’s been made clear that her continuing existence as a Diva comes down to the fact that she’s on Total Divas. That’s it. That’s the only reason she’s still on the roster. She can’t wrestle, she can’t talk, she can’t act, she can’t emote. What’s even more depressing is that I know she has some fans who get pissed that everyone hates her and have said things like ‘Just give her some time, give her room to improve and get better- she’s new, you can’t expect someone completely new to all of this to put on five star matches straight away’. And you know, that would be fine and I’d agree, except that even with time, Eva hasn’t got better. She’s showed no improvement at all where she should. She’s either so devoid of any talent in the areas the wrestling industry requires that it’s physically impossible for her to improve, or she’s realized that the only reason she’s still hired is because of Total Divas and she’s decided to just forget about trying to improve in the ring and just focus on the show. Either way, Eva Marie is basically the prime example of what’s wrong with the division, and the fact that she’s still hired is a travesty."


"The little time that she was on my screen, was too much. She can’t even fall off the apron properly!"


"She beat Divas Champion AJ Lee twice in a row on Raw and Smackdown in the same week."

who me:

"Domo arigato, Mrs. Roboto"


"Strange unearthly orange skin tone. Has yet to master mimicking the behavior of humans."

On to the poll! With 691 votes, Eva Marie's average score is 1.7. Last year she received a 2.

We'll be back on Monday, enjoy WrestleMania!

Until then!

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