WWE TLC 2015: Jack Swagger vs. Alberto Del Rio full match preview

Chairs Match for the United States Championship

Alberto Del Rio (c) vs Jack Swagger

Alberto Del Rio is a MexAmerican who is now Mexico's representative for the League of Nations. Jack Swagger is an All-American American who is trying to steer his misguided former ally Zeb Colter back on a righteous path of xenophobic ideologies. Steel chairs are clearly the only way to settle this dumb feud once and for all.

The Road to TLC

Back in 2013 Jack Swagger and Zeb Colter had an unbreakable bond based on the ignorant traditions of bigotry and xenophobia. Their number one enemy at that time was Alberto Del Rio. The heroic Del Rio ultimately triumphed over Swagger and Colter at WrestleMania 29, mostly due to Jack Swagger's ill-timed practice of "Weed The People."

Considering this rich history, it was a complete shock to the WWE Universe when Zeb Colter showed up on a scooter at Hell in a Cell 2015 and actually aligned himself with Alberto Del Rio, who successfully defeated John Cena for the United States Championship. Zeb and Alberto started to preach a new philosophy centered on uniting Mexico with the United States of America. They officially founded MexAmerica, a nation that welcomed anybody who wasn't a hater. But it turns out that Zeb and Del Rio considered pretty much everyone to be a hater, so MexAmercia wasn't nearly as inclusive as advertised.

Jack Swagger did not take too kindly to this startling revelation. He could not believe that his old racist buddy would ever consider participating in a unified existence between the United States of America, Mexico, and non-haters. This was completely against everything that good Americans like Jack Swagger and Donald Trump stood for. Swagger went out of his way to chase Alberto away and try to talk some sense into Zeb. Jack and Alberto even exchanged chair shots of aggression towards one another during some of these tense encounters.

Then one day Alberto Del Rio tripped over Zeb Colter's scooter, and a bunch of people standing nearby laughed at Del Rio. This was one of the most humiliating experiences of Alberto's life, and so he immediately ended his relationship with Zeb Colter. There was no way he would ever forgive Zeb for causing him to suffer this kind of irreparable trauma. In light of this news the future of MexAmerica became unclear.

That's where things stand between Swagger, Del Rio, and Colter as TLC approaches. Does this all sound really stupid? Yes, of course it does. It's one of the stupidest pro wrestling angles of 2015. But I'm probably just being a hater.

What's at stake?

The United States Championship will be on the line when Alberto Del Rio defends his title against Jack Swagger in a Chairs Match.

Whose side is Zeb Colter on? Will he try to restore glory to MexAmerica by helping Del Rio prevail despite their seemingly fractured relationship? Or will Zeb see the light and realign himself with the racist babyface Jack Swagger?

This is the part where the entire WWE Universe silently rides away from these questions using Zeb's scooter, because nobody cares about the answers.

Tune in to TLC and keep it here on Cageside Seats to see which of these two men will be jobbing to John Cena next month!