Every SummerSlam Ever in 10 Words Or Less

This Sunday, WWE embarks on a new era with the 27^th edition of SummerSlam. Yeah, but don't they usually save new eras for WrestleMania? Well, yeah. But WWE is introducing a new logo for the first time in more than a decade. To get you ready for SummerSlam, you should read the many, many, many, many, many features that this awesome website has on the event's past and present. While I can't do a year-by-year review, or a countdown of the best main events, or a countdown of  the best matches, or a match-by-match guide to the event, or even a one minute recap, I can make you the hit of SummerSlam viewing parties everywhere by giving you a ten-word or less summary. After all, anything in life, especially in the age of 140 characters or less, should be able to be summarized in 10 words or less.

Everybody ready? Here we go!

1. SummerSlam '88: Look at what Elizabeth's not wearing, Maggle!

2. Summerslam '89: Revenge in real life doesn't quite work out.

3. SummerSlam '90: Hogan and Warrior win LOL.

4. SummerSlam '91: Two matches in heaven, one in hell, Warrior gets fired.

5. SummerSlam '92: Bret Hart carries coked up in-law to classic match.

6. SummerSlam '93: Local man wins match, looks like idiot in victory.

7. SummerSlam '94: Two Undertakers main event over two brothers, one cage.

8. SummerSlam '95: Ladder match II: the ladder matching. And nothing else.

9. SummerSlam '96: Paul hates Undertaker. Shawn loses, loses, wins. Yokozuna is fat.

10. SummerSlam '97: Blue bar cage, sick chair shot, BROKEN FREAKING NECK.

11. SummerSlam '98: Rock-Triple H steal the show and all the money.

12. SummerSlam '99: Russo ruins everything. Again.

13. SummerSlam 2K: Tables, ladders, chairs, sledgehammers and cheating wives, oh my!

14. SummerSlam 2001: Like Invasion, but turned all the way up.

15. SummerSlam 2002: Shawn Michaels wins comeback match, dies. Brock kills Rock.

16. SummerSlam 2003: Bill Goldberg got buried, yo.

17. SummerSlam 2004: It never happened. As far as you know.

18. SummerSlam 2005: Cena hate begins; Matt Hardy fails; Shawn Michaels oversells everything.

19. SummerSlam 2006: Hulk Hogan: legend killer.

20. SummerSlam 2007: Cena vs. Orton: The Real Neverending Story Begins.

21. SummerSlam 2008: The last indisputably good Hell in a Cell match.

22. SummerSlam 2009: CM Punk and Jeff Hardy tear the house down.

23. SummerSlam 2010: Local man ruins everything. Again.

24. SummerSlam 2011: Punk wins, then Del Rio wins, thus nobody wins.

25. SummerSlam 2012: Brock wins via ARMBAR.

26. SummerSlam 2013: Daniel Bryan wins, loses, everybody loses collective shit.

27. SummerSlam 2014: If Cena wins, we cancel our Network subscriptions.

Have a better description of any SummerSlam in 10 words or less? I'd like to hear about it in the comments below.