WWE Smackdown preview (August 15, 2014): Sleep all night, work all day

What you need to know

Speaking to John Cena in the only language he thought the WWE World Heavyweight Champion could understand, Paul Heyman delivered a verse on behalf of client, Brock Lesnar.  I'll bottom line it  - Cena is gonna get conquered, y'all.

The champ, who may have been here for the last time in a while, responded with the fieriest of babyface fire that the ring is not Brock's, but ours, and Cena will defend it with every ounce of his being.  John's a swell guy when he's standing up for us.

Kane has ditched the mask and taken back up the mantle of Director of Operations.  His first act in that role on Raw was to book Roman Reigns in a handicap match against Rybaxel.  The D-Ops must really hate Curtis Axel & Ryback, because he also revoked their claim to a straight-up match against tag champs The Usos on Tuesday night and made it a triple threat with the makeshift team of Sheamus and Rob Van Dam.  Needless to say, Samoans won, and the Axe Man & the Big Guy lost, both bouts.

The non-Pacific Islander former members of The Shield are still feuding, and will hopefully finally have an official match at SummerSlam.  To prepare for their lumberjack match there, Seth Rollins won a couple of really good matches against RVD and Kofi Kingston.  Dean Ambrose hid in a giant present to scare him.  You decide who's more ready, Cagesiders...

WWE stole a TNA angle when they trotted out Daniel Bryan's physical therapist and had Stephanie McMahon tell Brie Bella that the YES! man had an affair with her.  But they out TNA'd TNA when they swerved us all and revealed it to be a ruse so that Mrs. Bryan would assault the mistress and Steph could have her arrested!  Plus, it gave us this...

via Wrestling with Text

We live in a world where Cesaro is losing to Jack Swagger clean.  At least it's leading to Swags proving that his flag is bigger than Rusev's on pay-per-view (PPV), right?  We also live in a world where Eva Marie has a pinfall victory over Divas champion AJ Lee.  At least that can be blamed on a frenemy distraction, and lead to some Paige poetry.

Distractions were a common theme on Raw, as Heath Slater benefited from one for the second straight week, pinning Dolph Ziggler.  Like Lee, the Zig-Zag man got post-match retribution on the wrestler who defeated him.  Unlike AJ, the Show-Off also got his hands on the person he'll face at SummerSlam, the handsomely attired Miz.

Chris Jericho got ready for his match against Bray Wyatt on Sunday by putting on his best suit, listening to the latest sermon by the Eater of Worlds and then promising to shut him up for good.  Which Bray finds funny, and better not happen or the internet will probably break.  Randy Orton got ready for his match against Reigns without pants, and by beating the United States champion.  Sheamus probably didn't find it funny though, and the internet has already decided they're taking a nap during their match in Los Angeles.

The big angle for SummerSlam went home with Lesnar threatening a bunch of old dudes, and Cena being all "nuh-uh, Jack"...and yet, it was awesome.

What to look out for

Seattle, Washington!  Don't we know somebody from around here that this crowd treated famously well last time we were here?  I miss that guy?  Anyway, if you don't want to miss out on any of tonight's results - even without watching - we have you covered with spoilers right here.

For those of you like us, the spoiler-averse, we can tell you that Roman Reigns will be on Miz TV!  Not enough for you?  Well, how about Miz vs. Reigns, probably with Dolph Ziggler interfering or somehow distracting the Awesome One and helping the Big Dog win?  Because I would bet a lot of money that something like that happens.

Otherwise, expect the usual mix of recaps and mid-card angle advancement that marks every Smackdown, but especially the ones right before a PPV.

(Note: I know some folks have come looking for a more definitive match listing.  We still don't want to risk spoiling anything, but as WWE.com releases more information on anything that's officially going to take place on tonight's show, I'll update it here)

What they should do

There are a lot of big names with nothing to do on Sunday...Cesaro, The Usos, Sheamus, to name a few...

Assuming that most of these men will line the ring area as Dean Ambrose and Seth Rollins do battle, ready to hurl either of them back through the ropes should they find themselves on the floor or plotting an escape - how about we give them a motivation for doing so?

Sure, Dean did his level best to sell us on the hatred the roster holds for The Shield, but let's face it, it's been a long while since the Hounds of Justice were randomly triple powerbombing dudes for fun.

Have Jimmy & Jey say that they haven't forgotten their duels with Reigns & Rollins.  Cesaro claim that he still wants the WWE title, and the chance to lay some punishment at Mr. Money in the Bank's door is an opportunity he won't pass up.  Anything that keeps these guys on our radar while one of the biggest shows of the year goes by without them would work.

What we're afraid they will do

Or, trot out the rest of the cast of Legends House for a fifteen minute segment.  Maybe they could sing something from the Monty Python songbook?  Always Look on the Bright Side of Life might be helpful on the off chance that SummerSlam fails to deliver...

Will Smackdown deliver as a go home show, or be as unfulfilling as a plate of Spam?

Find out with the liontamers and centurians (aka, your fellow Cagesiders) in our live blog!