TNA Impact preview (August 14, 2014): Tag matches, fourways and six-men...oh my!

Previously on Impact Wrestling

The show opened with both a disclaimer urging parental discretion and Bully Ray promising to fulfill his promise of putting Dixie Carter through a table.  So if you had a problem with the big moment that TNA spoiled for last week's episode, you really couldn't say you weren't warned.

Monster's Ball brought out Mr. Turnbuckle, a cheese grater, some kendo sticks a bad of tacks and dear, sweet Janice, Abyss' trusty 2x4 with nails and barbed wire.  But the most important foreign object was Bram's pal Magnus, whose distraction allowed the Brit to win and make off with Janice.

MLK (MVP, TNA World champ Bobby Lashley and Kenny King) were out with some ladies to celebrate the champ's latest victory - over Austin Aries at Destination X.  Just as Montel Vontavious Porter was crowing about there being no challengers left for his man's title, the longest reigning champion in TNA history hit the stage.  Bobby Roode says Lashley hasn't beaten him.  Before the mixed martial artist can respond, King low-blowed the It Factor to set off the brawl.  Just when things were looking grim for Roode, Aries and Eric Young slid in to make the save.  MVP gathered his troops and escaped to fight another day.

The Bro-Mans get back to their old winning ways (they were tag champs for a while, they had to have winning ways, right?) with a victory in six-man competition against Samuel Shaw, Mr. Anderson and Gunner.  Despite the former stalker cleaning house for the team, Anderson still doesn't trust him.  Gunner stopped the two from coming to blows post-match, but I don't think they'll be teaming up again any time soon.

Ethan Carter III promises that he and his unsung heroes of hardcore won't let his Aunt be put through a table.  Dixie Carter promises that he Bellator bodyguard King Mo won't let her be put through a table.  But when ECIII, Ryklon, Snitsky & Rhino lose the EIGHT MAN EXTREME RULES HARDCORE WAR WEAPONS MATCH to Bully, Devon, Tommy Dreamer and surprise partner Al Snow, things look bleak for the Aunt D.

The Beautiful People are jealous of Knockouts champ Gail Kim and Taryn Terrell getting so much acclaim for their actual wrestling, cuz gurls, amirite? In more promising women of TNA news...H***K is coming.

James Storm's bullying tactics have worked to brainwash Sanada, who now accepts slaps from and bows to the man he says inspired him to end his old mentor, The Great Muta's career.  Unfortunately, it didn't help him in his quest to regain  the X-Division strap, as a hot three way that included Low Ki ended with the Japanese former champ tapping to new champ Samoa Joe's rear naked choke.

King Mo was taken out by Tommy Dreamer, Spud was thwarted by a locker room full of wrestlers, and Team 3D put Dixie Carter through a table.

TONIGHT

Still on tape - still in New York!  We try to craft these posts to avoid ruining surprises, but if you hate surprises, there are spoilers for you right here.

Milking it for all that it's worth (which might not be much), TNA is promising all of the fallout from Bully Ray's actions last week.  Probably just more cheering, but maybe a medical report or two.  Team 3D moves right on to the next thing on their to-do list, a main event against old rivals The Hardys!

The It Factor's interruption of MLK's festivities last week has lead to a big six-man showdown this week when Roode, EY and A-Double take on MVP, Lashley and King.  The repercussions of last week's six-man bout continue to ripple this week, as well, because recent tag partners Anderson and Gunner will go one-on-one on Impact.

And the BP will have to deal with their jealousy - for each other and Kim & Terrell - because they're in a 4Way for the Knockouts title tonight!

Expect to pop for:

Samoa Joe. At first, I was thinking that being relegated to the X-Division was a step down.  But, hell, it's a storyline.

With guys like Low Ki and Homicide being brought in (for at least however long they're in the New York area), and a really interesting storyline just starting up with Storm and Sanada, the X-Division has a chance to be a really vibrant scene again.  Whether it exists as its own parallel universe or if he ends up trying to wear multiple belts again, that title has in the past been a place for guys capable of a different work rate to toil as opposed to being a small guy ghetto.

And we often get the best of Joe when he is pushed to prove that he's one of the best in the world.  At 35 years old and with the company's future up in the air, who knows how much longer we'll have to watch a legend work on national television.  Watching him at the top of a group of great workers is as good a way as any to enjoy him.

Definitely better than being kidnapped by a van full of ninjas.

The heat is on:

I don't even know what I would do if I discovered I knew someone that owned this unironically...

The fact that they haven't sold all 86 of them gives me some hope for humanity, though.

How do you top putting the owner of the company through a table and into the hospital?

I don't know, but we'll find out how TNA does it tonight at 9PM Eastern on Spike TV.  You should find out with your fellow Cagesiders in our live blog!