What you need to know
John Cena put on his best neon green shirt and screamed himself red-faced, declaring that he might get beaten up, but he would not be beat by Brock Lesnar at SummerSlam for the WWE World Heavyweight Championship. Paul Heyman reiterated his threats on behalf of his client, but Cena would not bend - not even when former Heyman Guy (but still friend of Heyman) Cesaro taunted his lack of wrestling ability.
It looked like the King of Swing might be right, but after he busted out a Giant Swing for the first time in months, both men upped their game and delivered a hot match. Which Cena won because...you know. Feel free to laugh out loud.
Randy Orton has a problem with EVERYONE over the fact that Lesnar is getting a title shot instead of him. Paige claims to have no problems with Divas champ AJ Lee, but AJ definitely still has a problem with being called the 'C' word (not that one, the one that rhymes with lazy).
Looking to put Stephanie McMahon's legal issues behind them, The Authority hit the ring to ask Brie Bella's foregiveness. Their old nemesis Chris Jericho showed up, and ended up flat on his face when his opponent for the night, Seth Rollins, clocked him from behind with the Money in the Bank briefcase.
Dolph Ziggler's win streak continued, but it's only over Intercontinental champ The Miz and we all know that white belt means you lose on television, so don't get too excited Show-Offyltes. Those guys weren't alone in their match, and their partners rematched on Tuesday, with tag champs The Usos ending up on the winning side against Rybaxel on both nights. Xavier Woods' men Kofi Kingston and Big E watched it all both times, too.
We all may still BOlieve, but the streak is over. R-Truth shocked Bo Dallas and smarks everywhere with a roll-up win. It was as surprising as Zeb Colter's patriotic address to Lana and Rusev was predictable. But now we can look forward to flag measuring contest at SummerSlam between the Bulgarian and Jack Swagger.
Damien Sandow is great. We should send him to space. I don't remember anything else about what happened to him on Raw. There might have been a man dressed as a cheeseburger.
A scheduled match between Roman Reigns and THE DEMON KANE never happened, because Orton's revenge campaign claimed the Big Dog as its first target. Kane set the stage and rolled out, so maybe he's escaped the Viper's vengeance, for now at least.
Stardust and Goldust have identified the holders of the Cosmic Key. Now if they would just clue the rest of us in on what they're talking about. Summer Rae and Layla, who I really don't want to call Slayers no matter how much they insist, are now palling around with a matador and a minature bull to torment Fandango. And as one female alliance forms, another falls apart - Naomi is dressing like a Hart and still feuding with Cameron, who continues to not dress or perform like a wrestler.
Y2J and Rollins battled for a good twenty minutes, but nothing was decided despite a springboard by the traitor into a Codebreaker because The Wyatts aren't done tormenting Jericho - not by a long shot. Seth was a part of his own non-finish on Main Event, when his interference prohibited the ending of a hot Dean Ambrose/Alberto Del Rio bout. The Lunatic Fringe, freshly returned from PR duty on Monday night, chased off his nemesis to stand tall.
Last but not least, SLATER GATOR BAY-BEE! Oh, did something else happen this week? That's right. Mrs. Daniel Bryan blackmailed Steph and got her job back as well as a match against the Billion Dollar Princess at SummerSlam. She better be careful what she wishes for, because a stiff slap to the face from McMahon, and the b!+ch might be back...
What to look out for
Pro wrestling on the Gulf of Mexico...I sure hope no one gets thrown in the surf. WWE taped Tuesday night in Corpus Christi, Texas, and spoilers are available right here. We try to stay unspoilt in the previews department, but let's see what WWE has given us to go on, shall we?
The lead singer of Fozzy will take his battle against the Family to Erick Rowan. If he can beat Bray Wyatt and Luke Harper - no offense to the bald guy, but...this is fairly predictable, no?
Announced after that contest was a handicap match, with the Authority-backed Rollins and Kane against Dean Ambrose! What are the odds of a non-DQ finish to that one, do you think?
Smackdown has been predictable across the board of late, so I'd count on a rematch or two. Or they could mix it up a little and have Dolph face either Ryback or Curtis Axel with Miz on commentary?
I don't think those heavyweights Brie and Steph will be there, so somebody else better step up their game!
(Note: I know some folks have come looking for a more definitive match listing. We still don't want to risk spoiling anything, but as WWE.com releases more information on anything that's officially going to take place on tonight's show, I'll update it here)
What they should do
There's no way to top last week - unless someone has gone into business themselves putting cat heads on pictures of wrestlers. So I guess it's just back to fantasy booking.
I'm on the side of those who are fine with the end of Bo Dallas' winning streak. It was shocking, it was to a guy who they need to do something with once a year before everyone forgets him and who is loved by some fans but who everyone expects to lose. And so, Bo can become rage and destroy in hysterical fashion at the end of their brief program.
After that, being free of the winning streak gimmick will open Dallas up to new possibilities. The problem with that trick is, unless you're a big hoss, having to maintain an unbroken string of victories caps who you can face and what kind of program you can have. Creative has tried to book around this by giving him higher profile opportunities in battle royals and other match types where he could lose without losing, but it's time to try more.
Sheamus is the kind of guy that would be perfect to assist Bo the character and develop Dallas the wrestler. Fans like us are going to love him no matter what, and having him face a "corporate" guy like the Celtic Warrior reinforces that. Kids and casuals can be programmed to hate him even more by running him up against a fan favorite like the big Fella.
But the Irishman can also go, and can be counted on to assist and teach the young heel over the course of a higher profile program.
The streak is dead, but Dallas future is bright if WWE is smart. BOlieve that.
What we're afraid they will do
If there's still more than one person on the tag team naming team after yesterday's layoffs, can we make sure that the person assigned to Woods/E/Kingston is the person who came up with SLATER GATOR and not whoever came up with Slayers?
Will you be watching tonight, or out doing community relations work like Dean Ambrose was on Monday?
If you watch, do it with your fellow Cagesiders in our open thread!