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Slapstick Saturday: ‘This (expletive) don't need to be doing no dropkicks'

So says Randy Orton...

Michael N. Todaro

"I tagged with [John Cena], last week or the week before, on a RAW Supershow, or a live event Supershow, both rosters were there. And we're out there in the ring. And it's me, Cena, and somebody. Maybe Kofi or Sheamus, against Big Show, Mark Henry, and somebody else, I forget. And Cena says, ‘Can you do a dropkick tonight?' And I go, uhh, yeah. Can you? And we're in the ring! Like the bell is about to ring. And he's starting and he goes, ‘Alright, I'm gonna tag you in, in a second. Let's do a double dropkick.' Now I'm thinking in my head, ‘This motherfucker don't need to be doing no dropkicks.' That's what I'm thinking. So he tags me in, ducks a punch from Show, Show turns around. Before I can even step through the ropes, Cena is up in the air dropkicking Show. And I'm like, looking at him, I thought you said a double dropkick? So, next time he calls anything, I'm gonna think twice. Because I ended up jumping up in the air, while Show is already on the ground, and just landing on my head. So it was a double dropkick, where Cena went and I then I slip ... Oh-Oh-I tried to get ... nope. So everyone in the back, I come back and they were like (clapping) ‘Great dropkick.' I watched it back and it looks like I just jumped up in the air as high as I can and then land. Nothing happened. I just jumped up and fell. It was brutal. Thank you, John Cena. I only got about four moves (of doom), so don't throw stones, now, but yeah. He shouldn't be doing dropkicks. I tell him all the time actually. But dammit, he tries."

Professional wrestling is a visual form of entertainment, so I always try to include a video in our "Slapstick" posts, but every now and again, I run across a quote that is just too good to pass up (like this one). Today's gem comes by way of "Busted Open" with Dave Lagreca and Doug Mortman on Sirius XM (via WWE Fans Nation) and features Randy Orton explaining what it's like to tag with fellow A+ player John Cena. It seems the Doctor of Thuganomics flunked Dropkicks 101, or at least performed that way when trying to gameplan with "The Apex Predator" during a live Supershow back in 2013. Unfortunately, it was Orton who came out a little worse for the wear, and will likely think twice the next time Cena asks him to rise above anything.

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