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This Week in Promos: Roman, Roman, Roman...

Professional wrestling is as much about talking as it is about actual wrestling. We'll gladly watch men or women duke it out in the middle of a ring in venues across the globe, but we need a reason to care beyond "hey, this should be a good pro wrestling match between these pro wrestlers".

So we get promos from said wrestlers telling us exactly why we should care. Sometimes they hit (big) and sometimes they miss (badly). In this weekly feature, we'll deliver a few promos from the week that was, complete with text and video (if available) of the best and the worst.

Let's do THISSSS.


Good Roman!

"Unlike some people, when I come down to this ring I come with a point. Triple H is saying he put me in the Fatal 4-Way match at the Battleground pay-per-view because it's best for business. Maybe he thins I can neutralize John Cena, which I can. Maybe he thinks Kane can neutralize me ... but he can't. And if all that happens, there's Randy Orton. He's walking out of there with the title ... but he won't.

"I assess and attack. And I've assessed this situation a thousand times and I can tell you it's not going to happen. And I understand that I'm a wanted man around here but I got a hair trigger.

"When Roman Reigns is in the house, you're damn right Cena sucks.

"And I don't care if The Authority's here or not. What they've got to say is irrelevant. What Randy Orton wants is irrelevant because he's just a pawn in this game. Me? Nah, I'm not a pawn. I'm just the next WWE world heavyweight champion. Believe that!

"So with their absence, are you standing in for The Authority now? Are you no longer the devil's favorite demon? Because lately it just looks like you're Triple H's lapdog. Nah, nah, let me correct myself. Lately, it just looks like you're Randy Orton's bitch."

This was a great example of the best we can get from Roman Reigns right now. The material is good, and while he slips up a time or two in his delivery, he's strong here. Confident. The improvisation when the "Cena sucks" chant breaks out puts it over the top.

He's good here because you believe him.


Bad Roman!

"I'm sure you'd love to stare at me all night and listen to them, but I'm a business man and I don't have a lot of time. I'm going to get straight to the point.

"You think this is your ring? This is my ring. You think you can crush me? You actually think you can beat me tonight? You better think again, buddy. Oh, I see you getting anxious, yeah I see that. You better remember, I got a hair trigger and you make one false move I'm putting my fist across your face so fast, boy.

"You're telling me to be careful? You're telling Roman Reigns to be careful? You must not know how this operation goes down. I assess and I attack, and I've assessed this situation. The only thing we're missing is a referee. So if we get one down here right now, as soon as he rings the bell I'm going to attack."

Another great improvisation here, but the rest of the promo is poorly executed. All that confidence he oozed before has been replaced by instability. He's strong, no doubt, but he's awkward. He's a tough guy talking who you know can back it up but isn't inspiring that thought because his words seem so unsure.

He's bad here because you know you're supposed to believe him but he's making it hard on you.


Along came a spider...

"He's got the moneymaker now. He's been off filming... he's 'The Marine', damn it, he's 'The Marine'. Congratulations to him but this is been one year in the making,the return of Y2J to Raw, meticulously planned out and executed perfectly last week when I interrupted The Miz, gave him a Codebreaker to the moneymaker and reestablished that Y2J is back in town, the boys are back in town.

"Then along came a spider, and I was attacked by The Wyatt Family. And I have to thank The Wyatt Family for letting me remember what the WWE is all about. It's part of it to have fans chanting "Y2J" and to have a lighted jacket -- even though half of it died tonight during the ring entrance on Raw ... that's part of live TV, baby, you never know. It's more than just surprise entrances and flashing lights. The WWE is a dangerous place. It's about survival, it's about fighting and leaving everything you have in the ring to get ahead, to stay alive, to last for 15 years in the WWE. Bray Wyatt and his family reminded me of that last Monday night on Raw, last Friday on SmackDown, and once again tonight.

"It seems like there's a collision course, Wyatt and Jericho heading towards each other. Hey, he's got the whole world in his hands; I've got the whole WWE Universe in mine. Y2J fans excited to see me back, Jericholics, some new, some old, some getting used to who I am, some remembering that I am a six-time world champion. Bray Wyatt's a dangerous man. He's an off kilter man. He's a crazy man. But I have one message for him, I said it last Friday on SmackDown: You want to get crazy, Bray Wyatt, I can get crazy. Y2J can get crazy. So let's see what happens. Because whenever I see a spider, a big dark, bloated, venemous spider, you know what I do? I step on it. I squash it.

"See you soon, Bray."

This was Chris Jericho's first chance to cut a real promo on Bray Wyatt and he delivered a few good lines, including a reference to an author I'm quite fond of (though the movie is an abomination). There's so much potential here, and he makes you want more.

That's the point, isn't it?


You used to be hardcore

I didn't transcribe this one because it's not just one guy, it's the back-and-forth between the both of them.

Bully Ray might be the best talker in all of professional wrestling, mostly because it never looks like he's within a storyline in an entirely different world. What you see is what you get. Rhino surprises here with his authenticity.

In fact, this entire segment was incredible because it did what a good promo is supposed to and built to a match between the two that you're far more excited for than you should be. An actual Ray vs. Rhino match has every reason to be the drizzling shits, but the interaction here was so good you don't even care.


That's it for this week in promos.

Until next time.

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