:format(webp)/cdn.vox-cdn.com/uploads/chorus_image/image/34952431/20140616_LIGHT_Match_DelRio_Sheamus_Orton_Bray_Cesaro_Cena_Reigns_Kane_HOMEPAGE.0.jpg)
The match:
A Money in the Bank ladder match for the WWE world heavyweight championship title(s).
The players:
John Cena: Won a qualifying match against Kane to gain entry. It was supposed to be a way to keep him out of the match, even though his record against Kane is 134-0 with 130 TKOs. Or something. He is a 14-time world champion, a Taurus, and Nikki Bella's love interest. He is expected to win because he is John Cena and he wins.
Randy Orton: An insecure man, Orton was given a free pass into the match thanks to his connection to Triple H and The Authority. It is possible, at the very least, that he emerges victorious as a swerve due to leaked posters making the Internet. That or his excessive use of baby oil will give him an advantage none of his competitors will overcome.
Kane: Stephanie McMahon The Devil's favorite demon, he was a last minute addition to the match because he is a lackey for The Authority, the muscle that will assist Orton in navigating the ladder through all the baby oil and sea of bodies.
Roman Reigns: Won a battle royal to qualify, last eliminating Rusev after a good old fashioned hoss fight. His primary objective is the WWE title but he's got some deep personal issues with Orton, whose greasy body is matched only by Reigns' greasy hair.
Sheamus: Fella. Fella fella fella, fella. Fella ... fella. Fella; fella fella fella fella. White noise.
Cesaro: Won a qualifying match against Rob Van Dam. Known as the King of Swing, he no longer swings and wears no crown. Pretty cool shirt, though. The hope is he will swing a ladder, mostly because he has no chance of victory and this might as well be fun.
Bray Wyatt: Bested Dean Ambrose to earn entry. To build an empire in his image, he must first become king and king's wear gold. His long hair and bushy beard may prove problematic when attempting to scale the ladder.
Alberto Del Rio: Defeated Dolph Ziggler to qualify and has hardly been heard from since. He's worked a couple tag team matches but when put in a crowd of top tier guys, he's easy to miss. Now that I've said this, he'll likely threaten to kick my ass "for real" while sending me 86 winking emoticons.
How we got here:
Daniel Bryan suffered a neck injury, sadly, and his timeline for recovery stretched on a little too long for the powers that be to stand pat. A decision had to be made regarding the WWE world heavyweight championship because, well, it's the focus of most of their TV.
So a diabolical plan was hatched to get the absolute most out of crowning a new champion by giving a title shot to eight guys at once, even if half of the field doesn't belong there. The fans wouldn't mind, of course, because it's a Money in the Bank ladder match and chaos and carnage will reign supreme.
So here we are, set to crown a new king while we mourn for OUR BOY D-BRY.
What to expect:
Bumps ... lots of bumps.
A new WWE world heavyweight champion.
A lot of bad one-liners from Michael Cole.
Even more bad ladder jokes from JBL.
John Cena standing tall to close the show.
Roman Reigns putting on a strong showing but getting screwed out of winning.
Kane ruining everyone's fun.
____________________________________
Be sure to keep it locked right here to CagesideSeats.com for complete coverage of WWE Money in the Bank before, during, and after the event!