FanPost

Retroactive Reconstruction: Dolph Ziggler, World Heavyweight Champion

WWE.com

Welcome back to another edition of Retroactive Reconstruction! Here we analyze abortive, not-quite-there, or downright abysmal gimmicks that should have gotten over way more than they did. We pick apart what went wrong, and from there suggest a reincarnation of how it could have worked better. It's fantasy booking at its finest! Today we start "TITLE REIGN" season for RR posts, and look at a man who can best be described as "Over as fuck."

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I've been asked to do this one for a really, REALLY long time.

You wanna make a smarky wrestling fan feel bad? All you have to do is tell them that Dolph Ziggler used to be the World Heavyweight Champion, after getting one of the greatest post-Wrestlemania pops I've ever heard.

Seriously, the crowd goes absolutely bananas when I'M HERE TO SHOW THE WORLD comes screaming over the loudspeakers, in a manner you'd have to go back to the Stone Cold era for.

And then, true to form, Dolph Ziggler didn't pull the CM Punk or Edge card and just immediately go for the pin with minimal resistance from the dead-duck champion. Instead, we got a wildly entertaining four-five minute "match" where Alberto Del Rio showed that he can work a fucking match (period!), and that Dolph Ziggler loves this business so much he'll willingly give the fans a heart attack that his cash-in might not work. (After all, for all of the excitement that it causes, a MiTB cash-in is pretty much a guaranteed title swap these days.)

Del Rio goes for the rolling arm bar (fuck "cross arm breaker" Maggle Cole), Ziggler wrenches Del Rio's bad leg to get free…Zig Zag! Cover…One…Two…THREE.

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This is the look of a man who has achieved a boyhood dream. (via isportsweb.com)

Seriously. So goddamn awesome. And for a guy that is probably about as passionate for this business in the way that us smarks are (as a wrestling company, not a "sports entertainment" company), this is the ultimate rub. It should have been the launch of another Shawn Michaels-esque career. All of the tools were there.

Instead, the fans and Dolph Ziggler are left wondering what the hell happened, as both fate and cruel booking ended the dream almost as soon as it began.

Let's see if we can't do better, no?

But first, let's see how we got there.

BACKGROUND

Here's a crazy thought. Nick Nemeth, the man behind the bleached hair and gyrating hips, has been a professional wrestler for ten years. He began in 2004 as a wrestler for OVW, using "Nick Nemeth" as his entrance name. Then, in 2005, he was called up to RAW as…Chavo Guerrero's enforcer. Guerrero, by the way, was going as this preppy golf douche named "Kerwin White." Nemeth was dressed as a caddy. That has got to be the least intimidating enforcer getup I can think of.

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It's a crime of comedy that he never met up with Snoop Dogg's character from Starsky and Hutch. We could've seen something special. (via media.tumblr.com)

After Chavo's cousin Eddie (EDDIE! EDDIE! EDDIE!) Guerrero died, Chavo dropped the "Kerwin White" gimmick, and Nemeth was sent back to developmental territory. There, he was repackaged and…hmm...

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I'm getting a sense of deja vu... (via www.wwe.com)

Needless to say, the Spirit Squad didn't really last that long, and once again Nick Nemeth was sent back down to OVW for repackaging. It was here, dear Cagesiders, that a legend would be born.

He spent two years between OVW and Florida Championship Wrestling while still hanging onto his regular name, before they gave him the name that we all know and love: Dolph. Ziggler.

And this fucking guy...

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…became this fucking guy.

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If you're a fan of Kafka-esque tragicomedy, you might get a kick out of the fact that while Ziggler made his television debut on September 15, 2008, he would be suspended for 30 days on October 10, 2008 for a Wellness Policy Violation. If so, you are a sicker man (or lady) than I. Eventually, Ziggler got back into the company, and started paying his dues. Jobbing to Batista here, getting in matches with the Great Khali there. He also picked up a bit of reputation of a ladies' man, first wooing Maria and then Vickie Guerrero into his spray-tanned arms.

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JUST JOKING ZIGGLER FANS, JUST JOKING!!! (via 3.bp.blogspot.com)

In July of 2010, he won the Intercontinental Championship. He held it for five months before losing it to Kofi Kingston. From there, he took part in one of the few watchable angles during the detestable 2010-2012 "Dork Age," where Ziggler and Edge feuded over the World Heavyweight Championship. Again, if you're a fan of Joss Whedon killing off all of the well-developed secondary characters that you love in a show/movie, you'll get a kick out of the fact that Ziggler only held the title for 11 minutes and 23 seconds before shenanigans allowed Edge to reclaim his title. If so, you are definitely a sicker man or lady than I.

From that point on, it was pretty much a long-ass level grind for Dolph Ziggler. He was with Vickie Guerrero. He won the United States title off of Kofi Kingston. He couldn't quite get the title off of Sheamus despite multiple attempts. He ditched Vickie. He won the Money in The Bank briefcase, and joined up with AJ Lee and my boy BIG E LANGSTON. He kept getting stopped via shenanigans to get the title off of the champion. Orton RKO'd him before he could pin Sheamus. Ricardo Rodriguez did whatever he could do in order to get Ziggler away from Alberto Del Rio's title.

Then, finally, on the night after Wrestlemania 29…Ziggler could no longer be denied.

WHY IT WAS AWESOME

Seriously. Just go and watch that video again.

Dolph Ziggler started with literally one of the shittiest gimmicks you'll ever see at the beginning, got repackaged into another terrible gimmick, and then made his debut as an ineffectual heel villain. He kept getting his ass kicked again and again. And yet each and every time he just got right back up for the thrill of the combat. He must have a little bit of Mankind in him, because after a certain point it seems less like a trial of courage and tribulations, and more like Ziggler got off on his own self-misery.

And he never quit.

This was a guy that the fans couldn't help but cheer, and still can't help but cheer. There aren't a whole lot of guys that have "IT," that mystical thing that makes everything they do must-watch television for the fans, but by God almighty Dolph Ziggler has IT.

I've watched a lot of what got former superstars over in the past, and Dolph Ziggler has an unholy blend of a lot of the stuff that other famous and fan-loved superstars had. He's got a mishmash of Rick Rude's sleaziness as well as Shawn Michael's heartbreaker look. He sells like Shawn Michaels. He talks like an evolutionary Shawn Michaels. He looks like an evolutionary Shawn Michaels.

Jesus Christ, WWE, you could have had another Shawn Michaels on your hands.

What the hell happened?

WHAT KILLED THE ANGLE?

Based on my newly-minted PhD in Gimmickology, I have determined that there were five major things that killed Dolph Ziggler's WHC run.

…Five?

Ooo! Ooo! Hey, Big E, lend me a hand?

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Thanks, Big E! (via 2.bp.blogspot.com)

First, his style of work.

Dolph Ziggler is an excellent worker. He not only busts his ass to make himself look good, but he also goes out of his way to help the other guy against him look good as well. Believe it or not, there are a shitload of great Ziggler matches out there. The most recent one? Bad News Barrett versus Dolph Ziggler on Monday Night ****pool. (God, why did they do that to Vickie?)

Here's the problem, though. Ziggler does his job really, really well…too well, in fact.

For example, there's this.

Does it look really entertaining? Yes. Does he make the Rough Rider, one of the silliest looking finishers out there, look devastating at about 1:23 in? Certainly. Is that really how a champion should sell?

Eh...

I mean, it's great that the guy, even when he had the big ol' belt, was willing to put on a show and make it seem like every match was excellent…it runs the risk of losing its luster as well as branding you as "more entertaining getting his ass kicked than kicking ass" to the higher-ups.

For example, to cross the streams to another sport, do yourself a favor and watch Tim Duncan play basketball. He has mastered the way of putting in work so that a ho-hum game in January looks good…but there is a clear difference when he's playing ball in the playoffs. The 20 points and 12 rebounds he put up against the Hawks around Christmas time are not nearly as vital or as strategically placed as the 20 points and 12 rebounds he got in a Finals game. Also, measuring things like that allows him to conserve his energy for the games that are really important. It's contrasted heavily with Kevin Garnett, who has played essentially the same length as Duncan yet also played EACH AND EVERY GAME like it was the MOST IMPORTANT GAME EVAH. That gasses him out, and leaves him prone to injury or disappearing in the games he absolutely cannot disappear in.

Also, not everyone else is as safe to work with when you're trying that hard to put on a great show. If they don't care as much as you care, then something bad happens. And someone gets hurt.

Second, Ziggler's unconvincing offense.

He…really doesn't have anything that scary-looking, does he?

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Daddy, I wanna piggy-back ride! (via cdn.bleacherreport.net)

The Zig-Zag is pretty counter-able. The Fame-Asser? Are you kidding me?

Thing is, he did try to use something that looks really, really, really nasty when it connects. Something…wonder what it was?

Either way, when you don't have a well-known or cool-looking finisher, it is harder to convince the bosses that you deserve to be "the guy." Remember, the only reason that Rocky got away with the People's fucking Elbow is because he's, well, The Rock. Cena's AA *works* because he is so goddam strong. And Shawn Michaels could put your chin through your skull with a well-timed kick.

Again, you could have had another Shawn Michaels, WWE.

UGH.

Third, he won't shut up.

Forget Rocky, man. Dolph Ziggler is the People's Champ. Whenever we're busy bitching about something on the internet, you know that Ziggler is paying attention to whatever is the key thing that we're whining about, and then proceeds to voice his concerns. He's an actual voice of the voiceless.

The problem? He has absolutely no discretion whatsofuckingever.

Has it become a running joke amongst us how Dolph Ziggler will shoot off his mouth on Twitter or something backstage, and then proceed to get buried by Hornswoggle or something? What hasn't he gotten backstage heat for?

Hell, he got backstage heat for something as simple as saying that he wouldn't be afraid of someone taller like Randy Orton in a back alley fight.

…Uh, WWE? Vince? While we're playing "paper-thin stereotyping," lemme offer you one of my own: As an Irish-Italian guy, you know what I call Dolph's comments?

Showing spunk.

I want my babyfaces to be tough guys who aren't afraid of a fight. Makes us wanna root for them.

But then again, I'm not booking here. In his old age, apparently Vince McMahon fancies himself in the mold of Mr. Roger's neighborhood where everything is hunky-dorky and you don't question the boss. And apparently saying things as innocuous "I'm not afraid of Randy Orton" is enough to help Dolph Ziggler get...

*ahem*

BURIED.

Fourth, being stuck in a charisma black hole.

Not him, per say. Dolph Ziggler oozes charisma. He's either that preppy douche that you fantasize about shattering his nose while he puts the moves on your crush or he's that preppy douche that you are glad you're friends with because he's always going to make things exciting for you at a bar, or a casino, or a strip club. Granted, it may not be warranted excitement, but it is excitement nonetheless. And it makes for good television.

Who, ah, did they stick him in feuds against?

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Alberto Del Rio was moderately interesting in his "elitist snob" heel turn and with Ricardo Rodriguez doing his incredibly long introductions, but then they just dropped that for some reason. (Is it because Vince only wants white guys to act like rich assholes? I'm confused…) He can work a great fucking match, but at the end of the day you've got to have some ability with the microphone. That's why, as much as I love him, I am watching Roman Reigns with bated breath and praying that he turns into a serviceable mic guy. That's. All. We. Need. Pleeeeease, big guy, don't fuck this up.

I'll get to Jack Swagger in a moment.

Neither guy has the chops to run with Ziggler on the microphone, so while he was feuding with people WWE decided to make most of the drama surrounding Dolph Ziggler be related to the dissolution of his partnership with AJ Lee and Big E Langston. Not necessarily a bad thing, considering AJ is AJ and is very talented at being good television (and Big E is just so goddamn entertaining to me. Don't know why. But I love the guy.)…but Dolph Ziggler's personal issues have already played out before in the form of Vickie Guerrero and Maria before her. It's been done. And it makes a champion not named Cena look weak when he can't keep his shit together in-house.

Fifth, this fucking guy.

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I don't know WHAT happened to Jack Swagger. He has the looks. He has the strength. Sweet Mick Foley, he has the strength. I would give my right arm (thankfully I'm a lefty) to be able to fucking gut wrench a guy into a powerbomb.

But Jack Swagger moves with the care and grace towards his fellow competitor as a bull in a china shop. Things tend to get broken around him, for some strange reason. In fact, on the taping of this past Smackdown…he separated Bad News Barrett's shoulder.

And, as we all mournfully remember…he concussed the shit out of Dolph Ziggler.

I've watched the video where the alleged hit occurs. The best quality you can find is really kind of grainy, but from what I can tell, I come to two conclusions.

1.) Jack Swagger hit him with a Big Boot, like Kevin Nash.

2.) Jack Swagger should never use the Big Boot. Ever.

Ziggler notwithstanding, that's just bad form on Swagger's part. He didn't extend the kick all the way, so that there was still some serious force going into Ziggler's cranium for the impact. Jack Swagger is 6' 7", 275 pounds. Most of it muscle. He is a fucking tank, and is best used when he's in good ol' hoss fights.

Not in a throwaway moment where he tries to Kevin Nash someone, and then proceeds to concuss them out of their gourd.

And with that, the meteoric push for Ziggler fizzled out. And in the time he was out, the WWE brain trust apparently thought that Ziggler wasn't a reliable champ, so they booked him to lose the belt to Alberto Del Rio. And though we got to see a Face-Heel double turn form the two of them, it ended Ziggler's title reign after only 69 days.

(For the record, I know that Ziggler also apparently got concussed by Ryback. But that's a second concussion, happened long after all of this, and for the sake of the article we won't discuss it here.)

RECONSTRUCTION

Oooh boy, here we go.

First of all, we'll use Dolph Ziggler's title win as a kickstarter for a bit of an in-ring revamping. We're gonna have him have an epiphany upon winning the title, and have him think "I need moves that are more hardcore!"

Out with the sleeper hold. Out with the Zig-Zag move, and give the Zig-Zag name to something else. Something like...

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And let's have some fun with his gimmick, hmm? Have him cut a promo where he says "I'm Dolph Ziggler, World Heavyweight Champion. I'm stealing the show, stealing your girl, and I'm stealing your moves."

Think about it. How big would you pop if Ziggler busted out an RKO on Randy Orton? A Yes Lock or Solid Knee Plus on Daniel Bryan? An AA on John Cena? If he managed to hit the Rock Bottom on The Rock, I think the roof would come off of the joint.

Also, we're gonna bring Ziggler backstage and tell him to tone down the ridiculously spaghetti-limbed sell jobs he does. They look great, but he might hurt himself if he isn't careful. And just for fun, have there be moments where he'll be selling all over the place against someone, when all of a sudden he stops.

Waaaait…that sounds familiar...

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Minus the "YOOUUUUUUU" part. That would be dumb. (via stream1.gifsoup.com)

It'll get the crowd to pop, and makes for a great moment. I'm not saying that Ziggler has to start doing the finger point-and-wag, but it might be funny.

Also, we're keeping Swagger away from him. Turn the Real Americans into the tag team they became, and send them off to have fun in that division.

Let Ziggler duke it out with Del Rio, and set something up for that awesome Face-Heel double turn. Maybe Del Rio goes after the arm or something, or Ziggler won't tap out of the sharpshooter or something crazy. Something to give the fans a reason to cheer for him, and a reason (in kayfabe) for Ziggler to turn to the fans and go "Okay, maybe I need to go to war for these guys."

And with that, you could even fold him into the Authority-Bryan angle. Instead of having each babyface treating each problem like it's their own thing and that they can't be bothered with anyone else, have Ziggler offer to be a watchful partner for Bryan's chase. Admit it, you'd find it interesting to hear Ziggler egging Bryan on, saying things like "Go back and get that punk Orton. C'mon, wouldn't it be fun for the two of us to put our titles on the line?" That would tease an eventual title unification.

And then, of course, have the Authority pull shenanigans so that Orton gets the title off of Ziggler. Now we've got Ziggler totally invested in the chase, and now Bryan isn't alone when the Authority sends the Shield after him.

Think about it. The Shield are in the ring beating up on Bryan, Orton's left the ring and there goes Rollins with a chair-I'M HERE TO SHOW THE WORLD-

-Ziggler sprints in with the save.

Or reverse it. Ziggler gets cornered by Orton and Batista when those strings come screeching in over the loudspeakers and out comes Bryan to even the odds.

Let Ziggler refuse to give up hope when Bryan falls to the Wyatts, and be the first to welcome him back when he turns on Bray.

Who knows? Maybe instead of a triple threat main event, we'll get a fatal fourway for the unified title. And when Bryan goes for the Yes! Lock on Batista, have Orton come in to break up the pin...

…only for Ziggler to sacrifice his own position for the title by superkicking Randy's face in. They both collapse in exhaustion, Batista taps out to Bryan, and as the confetti streams down have Ziggler will himself back to Bryan's face, and in full view of the camera say to the new champ-

"First shot?"

And Bryan will say one word.

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Hint: rhymes with "dress." (via www.wwe.com)

Where will John Cena be in all of this, you might ask?

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Oh…I'm sure he'll be somewhere, doing something. Can't for the life of me think about what it is.

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And another reconstruction is in the books! Agree with the method to my madness? Have a better idea? See something I missed? Sound off in the comments below. In addition, for those new to the series, be sure to check out the other RR posts in my profile. Tune in next time, where we go back to an old-school title reign. One that happened before I was born.

Till next time!

The FanPosts are solely the subjective opinions of Cageside Seats readers and do not necessarily reflect the views of Cageside Seats editors or staff.