TNA Impact preview (May 29, 2014): Let's wreck this joint

Previously on Impact Wrestling

It's all about whatever we're calling MVP's version of Evolution.  Montel Vontavious Porter, Kenny King and Bobby Lashley kicked Kazarian's ass right out of the company and Davey Richards' right into an ambulance, all while explaining Porter's evil plan to gain control of TNA.  He tied all of the strings together, including the signing of The Wolves and his matches with King, and Kenny's with Lashley...just in time for TNA World champ Eric Young to make the scene.

A war of words between EY and the power trio (largely focused on appealing to Army veteran Lashley's sense of honor) quickly dissolved into a fight.  When the numbers game started to get to the champ, Austin Aries ran in to make the save.  The heels bailed, as heels are wont to do, and matches were made between A-Double and MVP, with a main event between Young and a mystery opponent.

Knockouts champ Angelina Love issued an open challenge to any member of the roster who had never been Knockouts champ. Which pretty much left Brittany.  The newbie should have won with a roll-up, but Velvet Sky distracted the referee so Love could hit her finisher after B went after VelVel.  Gail Kim chased the Beautiful People away after they gave Brittany a makeover.  Because, face or heel, no woman on the TNA roster likes Brittany.

Mr. Anderson tricked James Storm into a drinking contest where he would only drink 'near beer'. Hilarity ensued when the good guy beat up a drunk guy.  Gunner told Samuel Shaw about a war buddy who was helped by a stay in a mental hospital.  Compassion ensued, and confused most of the audience who aren't accustomed to seeing such behavior on pro wrestling shows.

That darn numbers game gets the best of Aries in his match against Porter, where he got a disqualification victory but also needed to be rescued from a three-on-one assault by Super Eric.  Nobody helped Richards' partner Eddie Edwards when he came looking for vengeance and go choked out and suplexed on the ramp by Kenny King, though.

Bram's motivational program for Magnus hit another snag when the former champ would only use the pry bar to hit Willow in the stomach during their Falls Count Anywhere match, but not in the head.  A Twist of Fate from Jeff Hardy's alter ego lead to another loss for the Brit, and more disgust from his brutal buddy.

Dixie Carter paid a visit to the Impact Zone, because MVP had been ignoring her texts.  After the teasing of some heel-on-heel action, the Carters and Porter's posse united against a common foe.  Bully Ray ran down MVP's leadership, and was jumped by Lashley and King for his comments.  Dixie and Ethan Carter the Third watched this, and then EC3 spinebustered Bully through a table.  Ray chased off the Carters, so it looks like that program continues.  It remains to be seen if Dixie's acknowledgement of MVP's takeover was all there is to that program, or if that will lead somewhere down the line.

Surprise!  Young's mystery opponent was none other than Bobby Lashley.  Brian Hebner made good on his second chance from MVP by ignoring interference by Porter and King to let Lashley get the win in a non-title main event.  An attempt to return the rescue favor from Aries was foiled, and the three heels stood tall over Impact's closing credits.

TONIGHT

The road to Slammiversary has already been paved.  We steer clear of spoiler, but you can get some here or around the dirt screens, if they're your thing.

There was only one babyface left standing when the show faded out last week.  Bully Ray was in hot pursuit of Dixie and her nephew, but he can't be happy with the beating he took from MVP and company that gave EC3 an opening.  Tonight, he's on a WARPATH!

Brittany has challenged the BP to a tag match.  Will any of the other Knockouts overcome their dislike of the rookie for a shot at Love and Sky?

More tag action as Gunner and Anderson are out together to face The Bro-Mans, because TNA has fewer tag teams than even WWE.  And Bram will head into action himself, as he tries to lead Magnus back to the dark side by example.

Expect to pop for:

Pry bars. Nobody calls it a crowbar any more.  Well, maybe Dirk Garthwaite.  But if you're looking to influence your childhood friend back into the ways of assault and general dilinquency, everybody is doing it with pry bars these days.

And while I'm as weary of TNA face/heel flip flops as the next guy, whenever Magnus finds his guts and smacks Bram upside the head with said pry bar?

Marking out will ensue.

The heat is on:

Bobby Roode's suspension notice. Seriously, how much longer can this thing hold?  Speaking of marking out, a hot babyface return from The It Factor is a surefire way to get me to do just that.  But when so many guys like AJ Styles and Christopher Daniels, guys who like Roode were considered the mainstays of TNA, have recently left after disappearing from television for weeks and months at a time...maybe it's not the best move to take him off TV?

Is the latest version of an evil faction running roughshod over a pro wrestling company getting you excited for Thursday nights on Spike TV?

Sound off on that topic in the comments, along with any and everything else Impact Wrestling related that's on your mind.  Then join your fellow Cagesiders tonight as you watch the show!