They say that listening is a willingness to change. Well, The Wyatt Family sure did seem to be listening to me
One of the main tenets of last week's artfully crafted editorial was that the viral nature of the Bray Wyatt's message was ultimately limited by the relative lack of charisma on the part of his acolytes, Eric Rowan and Luke Harper.
No sooner did I make this declaration, than Rowan utters a single word. It was menacing, no doubt, but there was an air of mockery as well. It's almost as if Rowan purposely went out of his way to make a liar out of me.
Luke Harper then piled on the insult. This man, who makes Skinner look positively Martel-eqsue in the hygiene department, decides this is the week to wax poetic over the vices of John Cena. In addition to his impressive skills in Language Arts, he also took a detour into the mathematics classroom by counting out John Cena. He's a veritable renaissance man!
This whole thing reeks of Bray Wyatt trying to make a monkey of me, but I'll choose to take it as a compliment. Wyatt, who desires nothing more than to influence people en masse, is influenced by this humble scribe.
Say what you will about Bray Wyatt, but absolutely has his finger on the pulse of modern professional wrestling journalism!
OFFICIAL WRESTLER WRANKINGS FORMULA
ANY WIN = 2 POINTS
US OR INTERCONTINENTAL TITLE BOUT = 1 POINT
WWE WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT TITLE BOUT = 3 POINTS
NON "BIG 4" PPV BONUS = 1.5X
SUMMERSLAM, SURVIVOR SERIES, ROYAL RUMBLE = 2X BONUS
WRESTLEMANIA = 3X BONUS
The WWE season begins on the day after WrestleMania 30 and culminates with WrestleMania 31. The wrestler who accumulates the most points over the course of the season, wins the coveted Wrankings Championship!
Monday Night Raw -- 5/19/14
Main Event -- 5/21/14
Smackdown -- 5/23/14
WRESTLER WRANKINGS, WEEK 7 *TOP TEN*
1. RUSEV -- 23 points
2. Bad News Barrett -- 21.5 points
3. Sheamus -- 20 points
4. Cesaro -- 17 points
5. Rob Van Dam -- 16
6. Dolph Ziggler -- 11
T7. Big E -- 9.5
T7. Daniel Bryan -- 9.5
9. El Torito -- 7
T10. Batista -- 6
T10. John Cena -- 6
T10. Ryback -- 6
Thanks for reading, Cagesiders. We'll see you back here next week!