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WWE Smackdown preview (Apr. 25, 2014): Just the same as you and I

The Real American powers explode! And a bunch of stuff with The Shield apparently, since the other main babyfaces won't be there. Plus, the WWE's embarassing history with little people in this week's Friday time killers.

What you need to know

Daniel Bryan's patented uncomfortable babyface beatdown was carried out by Kane on a visibly shaken WWE World Heavyweight Champion dealing with his ride on the roller coaster of life the last few weeks.  Stephanie McMahon acted like she was having trouble containing the monster she unleashed, but when the fake paramedics finally wheeled the broken bridegroom out, she nearly cackled with villainous glee.

The tournament to decide the #1 contender for Big E's Intercontinental title produced some surprises in the semis, as not only was it proven that Cesaro can have a bad match, but he was bounced from the bracket by Rob Van Dam.  Our desire for stories beyond the pending championship match to spring from the tourney was met in the form of a Jack Swagger attack on his former Real American partner.  Now we'll have a heel vs. whatever-the-heck-the-King-of-Swing-is-supposed-to-be feud in the mid-card.

In the other half of the bracket, Bad News Barrett and Sheamus fought a battle for the ages, with the Brit felling the Irishman with his Bullhammer elbow.

Evolution is back, and they look good...if a little old.  Triple H continues to employ an 11 man job squad for the purpose of keeping The Shield away from Randy Orton, Batista and himself, which seems like a very un-Evolution thing to do.  But he's The Cerebral Assassin and I'm not, so what do I know?

There's some tension between the brothers Rhodes, as Cody blew a fuse when he took the pin in their loss to tag champs The Usos.  Jimmy and Jey are getting along fine, but it's become clear that their string of exhibition matches against friendly opponents will come to end when they soon have to face Rybaxel.

Raw was mid-card madness on Monday, as a miniature bull, a dancing woman with a snake sock puppet and a Bulgarian drone all emerged victorious from matches that no one will remember by this time next week.  The new Divas champion, Paige, continues to win while she gets ready for her first title defense against Tamina at Extreme Rules.

John Cena is a little scared that the WWE Universe might love Bray Wyatt more than it loves him, but he shouldn't be scared of The Wyatt Family.  Despite being booked into a three-on-one handicap match by the fans, Cena won by disqualification and came within a second of winning outright.  Happy birthday!

What to look out for

Your crack preview team doesn't partake, but this show was taped Tuesday and you can get spoilers for it right here.  And a live perspective from Hershey, PA here.  Or read on and remain as innocent as a sheep (not one from Bray's flock, though).

The Real American's Explode!  Cesaro and Swagger go head-to-head in what has to be the most on-again/off-again tag team break-up feud in history.  At least we know Paul Heyman will tell us about Brock Lesnar a lot.

And since Bryan and Cena are off tonight (and because while I don't read spoilers, I can't avoid the boss' headlines), I'd expect a pretty Hounds of Justice-centric show.  Will they get to tangle with Evolution, or just the job squad?

What they should do

Wait for it...

  • Since they've been doing a pretty good job building up the #1 contenders for the IC and tag belts, as well as the Divas champ, it's probably time to start building up the Divas challenger.  Telling us Tamina is the "most dominant Diva" ever is great and all, but maybe we could see her dominate someone?
  • It's probably too risky when they're trying to sell him as a credible threat to Bryan, but I've always liked Kane on the mic (a lot more than I like him in the ring, to be honest) and I'd love to hear him with five minutes to weave the threads of his past year together.  Not in an ironically silly, anger management way, but something twisted and bad ass about how The Wyatts broke him and The Authority tried to bend him and now he's going to  take that out on D-Bry.  Something in the vein of this...

  • More animal characters, regardless of the size of the wrestler wearing the costume.

What we're afraid they will do

Anyone, myself included, complaining about the Hornswoggle vs. El Torito program should acquaint themselves with WWE's history of wrestling little people.  Those two are nothing.  Heck, even Little Boogeyman, a former 'Swoggle nemesis, wasn't too bad compared to the "midget wrestlers" of the past.

Because it wasn't enough to just laugh at little people, they usually got racially stereotyped, too.  Little Tokyo.  Little Haiti.  Little Beaver.  He was Native American...
Get it?

So, yeah.  In the unlikely event that Torito vs. Horny gets over and leads to WWE wanting to expand their minis roster, let's hope they learn from the mistakes of the past.

Any of you big fans ready for a super-sized helping of Smackdown tonight?

Join your fellow Cagesiders in tonight's open thread, and enjoy the show!

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