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Slapstick Saturday: Chris Jericho calls Vince McMahon, gets told to go eff himself

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Michael N. Todaro

Who said Batista wasn't loyal to the business?

Earlier this week, I noted how "blood" was something I missed in a big spot. Not the kind of gushers the old timers used for a cheap reaction, but the perfectly-placed color that often elevated a good match into a great match.

Like the steel cage showdown between Chris Jericho and Batista in Nov. 2008, which saw "The Animal" take one for the team, which ironically enough, wasn't necessary -- since he was busted open the hard way before all was said and done (watch the highlights here).

And bleeding in the PG era is the sin of all sins.

As a result, Batista was docked a staggering $100,000 for his plasma, compared to a paltry $5k for Y2J. While there is nothing funny about the part-time movie star getting hammered at the pay window, hearing him recount the story on Jericho's podcast -- particularly the part about trying to talk to an irate Vince McMahon -- is hilarious.

Have a listen:

An excerpt:

"This was a point where we weren't shedding blood any more. We were PG and that didn't make any sense to me. I just didn't want to hear that, especially when there's a title match involved. I knew we weren't supposed to do it. I knew I would get consequences but I thought I would get the consequences and I didn't think they'd be as harsh as they were. [Vince] starts passing out fines, so my fine was $100,000. My heart dropped. I thought it would be like $25,000. When he said $100,000, I was just heartbroken. I literally think that he sucked the life out of me that day. I think that's the day that I knew things were never going to be the same."

Poor Dave.

Batista quit the business in 2010 to pursue other interests (like this) and eventually made his way back to the WWE ring in early 2014. It was a brief stay, but a helluva lot of fun while it lasted.

And probably a lot less expensive.