Hey you!
Do you have a wrestler whose theme suits his or her character perfectly? Is it becoming too expensive to maintain licensed themes? Or are you simply a cheapskate who feels the insatiable need to cut as many costs as humanly possible without caring about the final product's quality?
Well, we have the perfect solution for you!
Here at CFO$ Wrestling Theme Improvement Services, we have one long year of tried-and-true expertise in improving your wrestler's themes for just pennies on the dollar.
Best of all, we have a 100% money back guarantee. If one of our new themes isn't generic enough for you, we will refund all of your money while subtly retooling the theme to meet your oh-so generic standards!
You may ask: Hey CFO$ Wrestling Theme Improvement Services, how do you work your magic on these newfangled wrestling themes? Simple, we use a free demo of Audacity and lots of stock music in the free domain. After meticulously choosing seven or eight different songs to use in a single theme, our crack team gets to work in making the new, more generic theme.
Have we been successful? Why yes we have! Here are a couple success stories!
First, let's look at Bayley. Her old theme was oh-so terrible. It was catchy, quirky, and worst of all, it perfectly fit the character that she had developed. We simply cannot have that in today's wrestling industry. To fix this problem, our crack team got to work almost immediately, and in about five minutes, her new, incredibly generic theme was born to some fanfare! We liked it, and WWE brass liked it, so that was good enough for us.
Next, let's look at Brie Bella. Now reworking her theme was a tremendous challenge as it was already incredibly generic. However, after ten seconds of thinking (and a five minute viewing of Total Divas), we had our inspiration: BRIE MODE! With those two words in mind, we immediately got to work. After splicing over fifteen stock pop songs (and some random noodling with a Fisher Price toddler piano), we had our finished product, and boy were we proud? We were less proud when we had our children.
Don't think for one second that we only use cheap pop music to improve your wrestler themes. We use a wide variety of music, from pop, metal, southern pop (also called "country" in some areas), rap, and (for a limited time!) bluegrass! We also accept special requests. We may not know what "oldies music" is, but dammit, we will try our hardest to give you our interpretation of it!
Now you may be wondering about our prices. Well, never fear! You can order our services for only $9.99 per improved theme.
THAT'S RIGHT! ONLY $9.99!
Also, for a limited time only: Buy three new themes and get yourself a complementary rubber chicken as our gift to you. Perfect for all those parties, late nights on the town, and completely overgimmicked wrestling matches.
So remember kids: When you need to completely overhaul and improve some wrestling themes, think CFO$ Wrestling Theme Improvement Services.
Visit our site at www.cfo$wtis.xxx or call us at 1-888-382-5633 today!
CFO$ Wrestling Theme Improvement Services: Consistently improving your wrestling themes since 2013!