WWE Superstars Results and Reactions from July 18: Triple Feature

A-Ry is back, and the future's so bright he's got to wear shades. They're not as cool as Kurt Angle's... Seriously though, Alex Riley isn't unbearable this week, so we'll give him some time to grow into this role.

Tons of Funk defeats Primetime Players

in approximately five minutes via pinfall when Brodus Clay pins Darren Young

• Sometimes I think that "Somebody Call My Momma" is the Superstars theme song. Whether it's Brodus, Sweet T, Cameron, Naomi or some combination of the four, there's a better than 50/50 chance you're gonna hear that tune when you punch up the show on Hulu. I make jokes about folks who regularly appear on the show, but good for them. I bet Epico & Primo wish they could show up on the internet every Thursday night like they used to.

• Clay and Young start off, but after a couple of failed shoulder blocks, Darren tags in Titus O'Neil so that we can have the two worst workers in the company in the ring together. Mercifully it only lasts a few seconds and no animals were harmed during production.

• Titus dodges a charge from Tensai and lays him out with a clothesline. He does his pose, and the crowd barks "Ar-rah" for him. PTP could be bigger as faces or heels, and - if rumors are true - I really wishing they were being aligned with Mark Henry instead of The Usos (who seem to be getting over just fine on their own).

• Tandem maneuver where O'Neil lifts Young up into a vertical suplex position before swinging him back down onto a prone Sweet T. The heels control things for a minute, but then T dodges a kick and Darren gets hung up in the ropes, allowing the Funkasaurus to come in like a house of fire. His three moves of doom flatten the former Nexus member, but a pin attempt is broken up by the Florida Gator.

• After clearing O'Neil from the ring, Tensai hits Young with a chokebomb and stands guard while BC lands a Call My Momma splash and finishes the match.

Match Footage below via WWE.com's Official YouTube Channel:

WWE hasn't released any footage of these barn burners yet, but if/when they do, we'll add it to the post.

Phenomenal Raw commercial featuring the crowd preceding and during Cena's selection of Daniel Bryan as his SummerSlam opponent. Then we get footage of Mark Henry's promo and The Shield's attack on him that same night.

Ryback defeats The Brooklyn Brawler

in approximately one minute via pinfall

• Suprised this didn't make Main Event or Smackdown, given it's brief runtime and the guys involved. A fun segment that hits the nostalgia button and builds a monster heel? Yeah, this probably should have been on TV.

• BB, rocking the jeans and Deron Williams jersey-tee, gets in a few blows before Big Hungry shoves him to a corner and screams that he's a "stupid old man". The legend hits many elbows and manages to bring Ryback down to a knee, but that just pisses him off. Meathook clothesline and:

Looong commercial for Big Show's return this coming Monday, followed by the CM Punk/Paul Heyman/Brock Lesnar confrontation and assault. Unfortunately, Heyman's mic work from the start is cut-off, but there is a lot of beating aftermath footage.

The Miz defeats Heath Slater

in approximately four minutes via submission

• This is some star-power for Superstars! And, I don't know if it'll get me kicked out of the internet wrestling community (IWC) or whatever, but I have been enjoying Miz's matches lately and this one is no exception. I don't think I'm alone, either. The roof doesn't blow off the place or anything, but he gets a nice pop and the camera doesn't struggle to find dudes in the crowd wearing his merch.

• Early on, Miz does Emma's slide under roll-up move for a near fall. Viva la Emmalution! After Slater catches a high knee, there's a reaction shot from Drew McIntyre that is one of my favorite things I've seen this week - and it's been a good week. If I can figure out how to gif it, I'll post it in the comments.

• 3MB's front man takes over by tripping the Awesome One face first into a turnbuckle and then hitting a leaping neckbreaker for two. After some cool down time, Miz battles back and connects with the running clothesline in the corner, his double axe handle from the ropes and then starts working the thigh with kicks (one of the best things Mizanin does now is logically prep opponents for the Figure Four).

• Slater momentarily gains an advantage with a big side kick, but when he can't cover, Miz goes for his inherited submission finisher. Jinder Mahal and McIntyre jump up on the apron to distract the former WWE champ, but Jinder bails and Drew gets clocked. After dodging a charge from Heath, the Figure Four is cinched in in the middle of the ring and the West Virginian is forced to tap.

Replay of Cena's choice (with assist to the Brooklyn chapter of the WWE Universe) closes out the show.

Three matches and only one of them felt pointless (and it wasn't the 60 second squash)! Maybe it's that the recaps were from one of the best Raw's in history, but this show was okay by me. Let's give it a C.

What say you, superstars of the IWC? Let us know in the comments!