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WWE Superstars results and reactions from April 18: Tons of Fun

If we have to get a steady dose of anybody, it could be worse than the Colóns. The cousins pull a good match out of some surprising partners. Plus, Divas action! Recaps! Video packages!

Lets see, who should beat Primo and Epico this week. Well, we only have three babyface tag teams, the Usos beat them last week and Hell No aren't going to appear on the HuluPlus streaming-only show. So...

Tons of Funk defeat Primo & Epico

in approximately seven minutes via pinfall when Brodus Clay pins Primo

• I will give them this on the Brodus Clay - Tensai (I'm going to fight calling him "Sweet T" for as long as possible) pairing, they work the formula correctly so that the former Albert does most of the work. Because he ain't bad at all, while the opposite is true of his partner. The funkasaurus starts off against Primo, gets in a "should I get him?" and makes me uncomfortable by gyrating on him before delivering the buttbutt. But he catches a springboarding Primo in fireman's carry position and then just throws him across the ring. It doesn't look more impressive than actually finishing the maneuver, so I'm left to assume that he can't do anything else with it.

• Thankfully, the guy with writing on his face gets tagged in and works the bulk of the match. He holds Primo upside down in a delayed double chicken wing back suplex thing (this is where you come in, RUV).

• Mark alert - I kind of love this match. Primo jumps in to rescue his cousin from a slam by T, but when the big man turns around and looks at him, he leaps right back over the ropes without missing a beat. There are also more tandem moves than you'll see in a month of broadcast WWE shows. The Colóns gain the upper hand with a double team suplex on Tensai.

• Epico with el épico juego sucio when he runs T eyes first across the top rope. He controls the big guy with a front face lock until the Funkadactyls cheer him to a comeback, and he gets the tag to Clay.

• Sexist alert - I would find Rosa Mendes much more attractive if Naomi would lend her a little of her ample posterior.

• Clay gets a Schwah Splash for two, and after Tensai chases Epico for breaking up the pin attempt, they hit Primo with the Call My Momma splash for the victory.

• The icing on the the great match cake is Brodus trying to convince Rosa to join Tons of Funk for their victory dance.

Match Footage below via''s Official YouTube Channel:

This week's replays are the Big Show / Sheamus / Mark Henry / Randy Orton saga and updates on the clients of P. Heyman.

Natalya defeats Tamina Snuka

in approximately five and a quarter minutes via submission

• To answer someone's question from the last time Natty showed up on a non-internet show, yes, it is canon that she and Khali are, uh, romantically involved. Tony Dawson and Matt Striker take a minute or so to remind us of that - plus, they like to do hot yoga as foreplay (seriously) and they're one of the hottest couples in India who don't make Bollywood films. And they tell us these things every time she shows up on Superstars (your latest example that, "We watch so you don't have to").

• Early on the story of this one is that Tamina is too strong for Ms Neidhart, which is a little weird, and doesn't fit what we know of the Punjabi Princess, but...they barely bother to spell out who is face and who is heel in Divas matches anymore, so I can't say I'm surprised by a possible inconsistency. Snuka looks like she works stiff; the two battle to the floor and Jimmy's daughter really takes charge with a kick to the neck/throat.

• Snuka focuses on the former Divas champion's leg, which makes sense as it would limit her ability to lock in a sharpshooter. Not that Dawson or Striker can be bothered to point that out.

• After some dueling elbows, Tamina nails the Canadian with a Samoan slam and drags her by the hair to the corner to set her up for a Superfly splash. Nat grabs her leg as she's walking away, so Snuka goes for a snap suplex that Neidhart counters by rolling through right into a sharpshooter. There's some drama as Tamina almost makes the ropes, but when she's dragged back to the center of the ring, she has to tap.

• Granted, Snuka looks a little green and possibly dangerous, but for how little she seems to work I'm not ready to pin that all on her. These two have a story as legacy wrestlers that writes itself. Why they're thrown out here with no context to kill time is beyond me.

Match Footage below via''s Official YouTube Channel:

We wrap up with a Raw replay of the Cena - Ryback stuff from Monday night.

Maybe I just need cheered up from a rough week, in and out of the world of pro wrestling, but I enjoyed this show quite a bit. Mostly it was the opening tag, which I thought was a blast, but the women worked hard to entertain in the time they got too.

Superstars earns a B from me this week.

What say you, dear Cagesiders?

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