WWE Main Event results and live blog for March 27

WWE Main Event comes waltzing back into our lives tonight (Mar. 27, 2013) at 8e/7c on ION Television from Hershey, Pennsylvania with a nearly sold out crowd.

Tonight's show features WWE Tag Team Champion Kane vs. U.S. Champ Antonio Cesaro (with none-other-than Daniel Bryan on commentary and a brief cameo is rumored from Diva AJ Lee), as well as a Matt Striker interview with Sheamus, followed by an appearance by "Tons of Funk": Brodus Clay & Tensai, who will root for Cameron & Naomi in a match vs. The Bella Twins.

Come back here at precisely 8:00 p.m. ET for complete results & the running live blog, which will start right below this line, hanging out here is guaranteed to enhance your viewing experience tonight...

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WWE MAIN EVENT RESULTS AND LIVE BLOG FOR MAR. 27

C. J. Bradford here to kick off your humpday-evening with just the right amount of hump, Cagesiders!

AND NOW I SEE THE WORLD THROUGH DIAMOND EYES!

I do love that intro.

BOOM!

Out comes Kane with Daniel Bryan in tow.

C'EST UN MIRACLE

Antonio Cesaro with a mic. Since he is always telling us how much better Switzerland is compared to America, he is bring come culture to this cultureless society.

And...he starts singing. Something. Yodeling maybe?

I guess I'm not cultured enough to get it.

USA chant rings through the arena.

Antonio Cesaro vs. Kane

Both men lock up, with Kane push Cesaro into the corner. The US Champ takes a moment to reset.

They lock up again, with Cesaro gaining the side headlock. He's bounced off the ropes, and Kane hits a shoulder block.

Cesaro stumbles to the corner to reset.

They lock up again. Kane is able to get the arm and flip Cesaro.

They go for feats of strength. Cesaro delivers a kick, uppercut

Kane with an arm drag and clothesline over the top rope.

Cesaro is upset.

He climbs onto the apron. Kane is right there, but Cesaro hits a shoulder to the gut.

A huge suplex by Kane to bring Cesaro back into the ring. He hits the drop kick and tries to get the cover.

Cesaro rolls under the ropes.

Kane tries to follow, but Cesaro slams his shoulder into the turnbuckle. He follows it up with top rope stomp on the arm.

They lock up. Kane sends Cesaro through the ropes. Cesaro comes roaring back. Kane sends him through the opposite ropes. He tries to reach over, but Cesaro drops his shoulder on the ropes.

Off the turnpost Cesaro goes...

Straight into a right by Kane.

Only gets a two count.

Kane with the vulcan grip to keep Cesaro down.

We come back from commercial with Kane whipping Cesaro from post to post. He tries to follow, but eats a boot.

Cesaro with a huge uppercut!

Only good for two.

Cesaro goes to work on the shoulder and arm. He gives a nice yodel for good measure.

Kane makes it back to his feet. He delivers an elbow and runs the rope. Cesaro meets him with a shoulder. He drops the toe hold, sending Kane into the ropes.

Beautiful drop kick from Cesaro.

Only gets two.

Cesaro back to work on the shoulder. Kane makes it back to his feet, but Cesaro sends him into the corner. He lands a nice left-right combo before the ref pulls him off.

He tries to whip Kane from post to post, but Kane reverses. He follows and lands a clothesline on the US Champion. Another post to post whip, and Kane is right there with a splash. Kane hits a sidewalk slam.

Cesaro kicks out at two.

To the top rope Kane goes...

And Cesaro meets him with a huge uppercut!

Kane kicks out at two.

We come back from commercial with Kane hitting a nice DDT. He looks to be calling for the chokeslam...

Cesaro is able to wiggle out.

And he lands a freaking gut wrench suplex!

Kane -- somehow -- kicks out at two.

Big rights from Cesaro, followed by a stomp. He goes back to work on the shoulder. Kane makes it back to his feet.

Cesaro lands a big boot. He runs the rope, but is met by a body slam.

Off the ropes he goes again. But Kane is right there with a backbody drop. He sends Cesaro into the corner.

Cesaro comes flying out and sends Kane into the ropes...

And Kane comes flying back with a huge boot.

Only good for two.

To the top rope Kane goes...

And hits the flying clothesline!

Kane is calling for it!

LET'S LIGHT IT UP!

AND AJ LEE COMES DOWN TO MAKE EVERYTHING BETTER!

Daniel Bryan jumps up from commentary to deliever his "NO!'s"

Cesaro takes advantage with a huge uppercut!

Only gets two.

Cesaro going for the Neutralizer!

Kane flips Cesaro over his back.

Chokeslam from Kane! That is good enough for the three count.

AJ walks up the ramp while Bryan and Kane go into the "YES!" chant.

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Recap of Jack Swagger attack Ricardo Rodriguez over the course of two Monday Night Raws.

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Recap of Triple H calling out Brock Lesnar and kicking Wade Barrett in the balls.

Looks like The Miz vs. Wade Barrett is official.

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Backstage with Matt Striker and Sheamus. Striker says that Sheamus was hesitant to accept The Big Show as his partner. The exact quote being, "When sheep fly out of my arse."

Sheamus says that it is true sheep don't fly, and he won't being going out for a pint with Show.

But if he, Show, and Randy Orton can come together for just one night...

The Shield will be in for the fight of their lives.

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FUNKAY'S ON A ROLE!

The Funkadactyls are out to introduce...

"Tons of Funk"

Of course that is what their name is.

Brodus Clay and Tensai come out in matching tracksuits, doing their best LL Cool J impression.

HALLELUJAH!

Cody Rhodes wants to know if he heard the name correctly. Sandow thinks it is apropos, because they do have tons of something.

Tons of saturated fat!

Ha. Burn.

Sandow introduces the Bella Twins.

Who are looking glorious.

The Funkadactyls vs. The Bella Twins

Match starts with Cameron and Brie. Cameron lets the forarms fly. She whips Brie into the post and delivers a headscissors takedown. Off the ropes Cameron goes...

And Nikki is there to trip her up.

Brie goes for the cover.

Only good for one.

Brie ties up Cameron up in the ropes. She chokes her out before the ref pulls her off.

Tag to the Nikki. She chokes out Cameron with a knee in her back. Cameron makes it to her feet before Nikki slams her head first into the mat.

Only gets two.

Tag back to Brie. She lands a few blows before making a quick tag. They both slam Cameron's head to the mat.

Only good for two.

Cameron is able to fight Nikki before crawling to her corner...

Hot tag to Naomi! She gets her shine with a few beautiful drop kicks and a front flip clothesline. She goes for the cover.

Brie rushes in to break up the pin.

Brie is sent flying through the ropes. Cody climbs up on the apron to give his two cents.

He eats a smack to the face for his troubles.

But Nikki is able to take advantage with the roll up!

The Bellas are your winners!

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Recap of The Rock vs. John Cena debate on Raw.

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And that's what we close the show on!

Fade to black.

End.