FanPost

Wrestlemania 29: The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly

With the announcement on the front page of CSS today that we'll likely see Miz challenge Wade Barrett for the I-C title at Wrestlemania 29, that makes nine confirmed or heavily rumored matches to take place. In my very first (and quite possibly last) Fanpost, I sort these matches into the following categories:

The Good:

* CM Punk vs. The Undertaker

What seemed like a thrown together match that was possibly not going to happen as recently as last month now feels like the main event, at least for me. I think Punk has brilliantly walked the line in generating heel heat while conveying how important it is to him to be the one to break The Streak. For his part, Undertaker has shown that he still has the magic, at least as long as he's not actually talking into a microphone. While I expect him to be 21-0 at the end of April 7, I think there's just enough doubt there to hold on to, and the match should be great in any case. Bonus points for quickly incorporating William Moody's untimely passing into the buildup without turning it into a Randy Orton insulting Eddie Guerrero's memory type fiasco.

* Chris Jericho vs. Fandango

Up until last week, I could not have cared less about "Faaaahn-daaaaah-ngoooo". Didn't want to see him win, didn't want to see him lose, didn't want to see him on my TV at all. Until WWE got smart and put him with the master at getting others over through the force of his personality and wrestling knowledge, Y2J. This might very well turn out to be the best match on the undercard.

* Ryback vs. Mark Henry

HOSS FIGHT!!! Simple booking is simple, and there's a reason for it - it works. Sometimes, you just want to see two big guys who like beating people up and are good at it try to beat each other up. I'm not much of a Ryback fan in general, but this is the perfect spot for him. If he can actually get the World's Strongest Man up for Shell Shocked, that would be as memorable of a Wrestlemania moment as he could possibly get.

The Bad:

* The Rock (c) vs. John Cena for the WWE Championship

"Once in a Lifetime (unless we do a record buyrate)" - this has all the feel of a sequel to a movie that surprisingly made $100 million and consequently the sequel's script was thrown together at the last minute. See: The Hangover, Part 2. Their match last year wasn't bad at all, and the Rock winning cleanly was actually a mild swerve. But Dwayne's sporadic appearances on RAW since winning the title from CM Punk, combined with lame Cena promos in his absence, have failed to ignite any desire on my part to see this match. We all know how it's going to end, but that shouldn't be an impassable obstacle - witness the instant classic between Cena and Punk last month on RAW. I have zero faith in this match's ability to deliver anything nearly as entertaining.

* Brock Lesnar vs. Triple H (No Holds Barred - HHH's career on the line)

What a missed opportunity. It's not that I think the match itself will be bad - putting HHH in a no-DQ match at 'Mania with another big guy who can wrestle AND brawl pretty much guarantees at least a *** affair. The issue I have with this one is strictly the surprise stipulation that Paul Heyman put in the contract that HHH had to sign sight unseen: a career threatening match. Um, Paul? HHH already WAS retired, remember? You know, right after Lesnar "broke his arm" at Summerslam 2012? Had Heyman used the leverage of HHH's desire to avenge the destruction of himself, his best friend (Shawn Michaels), and his father in law Vince at the hands of Lesnar in order to get him to agree to something more like a position of power for Heyman, it would have fit the storyline perfectly and raised the stakes of this match. As it is, WWE wasted a perfect opportunity to build this match and turned it into a joke, at least as far as storytelling drama goes.

* The Shield vs. Randy Orton, Big Show, and Sheamus

Another missed opportunity. The match makes sense in that Rollins, Ambrose, and Reigns have attacked all three of their antagonists multiple times, and there is some dramatic tension introduced by Show's involvement with the faces. So why did this not make the good list? The problem for me is that WWE has painted themselves into a corner. As I see it, there's basically only two logical finishes for this match: Either Big Show turns on or abandons his teammates, or Randy Orton (who has vocally campaigned to turn heel again) does so. So The Shield will probably pick up their fourth win without a defeat in a six-man tag match, yet it will feel hollow and probably do little to further their development. The really scary idea is that WWE may try to turn Show or Orton into the new leader of the Shield (a la Bully Ray with Aces & 8s, with none of the corresponding foundation laid).

The Ugly:

* Alberto Del Rio (c) vs. Jack Swagger for the World Heavyweight Championship

This will probably be a pretty good match. However, the storyline to set it up, which at one time looked like it might catch fire when Glenn Beck got involved briefly, has totally died and this match's heat with it. When the wrestlers involved have less heat combined than a ring announcer, even one as awesome as Ricardo Rodriguez, your storyline has problems. At this point, only a post match cash-in of the blue briefcase by Ziggler could possibly save it, and even that might not be enough.

* Team Hell No (Kane and Daniel Bryan) (c) vs. Dolph Ziggler and Big E Langston for the WWE Tag Team Championship

The absolute pinnacle of "Creative has nothing for you" booking. Yes, three of these four men have history with the lovely AJ Lee in storyline and she will no doubt be involved in the match while wearing a skimpy or skintight outfit. Yet this match still lands on the Ugly list for a myriad of reasons - not least of which is Big E's singlet. More importantly, however, this match seems to have zero potential to propel any of the wrestlers involved to bigger or better things. Maybe we get the long rumored breakup of Team Hell No, or maybe Ziggles turns face after AJ spurns him and leaves with Big E - but more likely, the champs retain in a relatively short match that is forgotten before the video package for the next match starts.

* Wade Barrett (c) vs. The Miz for the Intercontinental Championship (rumored match)

Hey, remember when The Miz headlined Wrestlemania as WWE Champion? That was cute. I remember seeing this guy a decade ago on The Real World in the process of developing "The Miz" character, and generally causing his roommates to laugh at him. As a smarmy heel, he's not too bad - the problem is that WWE has turned him face because he's got a movie coming out, and has been stringing us along by having him beat the secondary champs (Barrett and US Champion Antonio Cesaro) in non-title matches, using a god-awful Figure Four Leglock. As far as Barrett goes, he had a one week period where it looked like he actually was going to become an interesting character, taking the I-C belt from Kofi then defeating Randy Orton (cleanly!!), before he sank back into the life of a WWE secondary champion these days, jobbing to the stars and mid carders in equal measure yet somehow holding on to the belt for a few months. His unmemorable reign probably ends here, or maybe it continues as he gets counted out or DQ'd. Does it really matter? Does anybody care one way or the other? Not me.

Thoughts and comments are appreciated. Even if it's to tell me this post sucked.

The FanPosts are solely the subjective opinions of Cageside Seats readers and do not necessarily reflect the views of Cageside Seats editors or staff.