Dear Undertaker: Stay home, brah

The Undertaker nearly ruined Monday Night RAW.

WWE has been parading through the digital streets like the town crier, incessantly reminding us how shocked the Texas faithful were when "The Deadman" made his surprise return at a local house show. To that end, I think most (if not all) of us were expecting an appearance at some point during the RAW broadcast.

It never came.

What's unfortunate is that I wasted the first half of John Cena's bout against C.M. Punk trying to figure out how they were going to shoehorn his appearance in before the show wrapped. In my defense, I wasn't expecting "match of the year" from those two, but the better it got, the more I hoped Undertaker wouldn't show up.

Partly because he should have already been there.

By the time Smackdown! airs this Friday night, it will be March 1st. That gives us just over a month until WrestleMania and Undertaker has yet to appear on television. True, Brock Lesnar was also late to the party, but his program with Triple H is a continuance of their angle from last year.

They just have to hit the ground bleeding running, whereas Undertaker must start from scratch.

Who is he fighting? The general consensus (pun intended) is that he'll lock horns with Punk, utilizing little-to-no build in the process. Does anyone give a shit about their tepid feud from 2009? I sure don't. Heck, it may not even matter. For a lot of wrestling fans, 'Taker just has to show up and float to the ring on a chariot of smoke.

I got no problem with that. Come out, get your pop and squash Damien Sandow (or some other viable villain).

What I do have a problem with, is cramming for the WrestleMania exam. The man is 48 years old and there was talk of him staying home this year due to nagging injuries. Stay home, brah. We don't need you. Actually, it's not you, it's the distraction caused by you that we don't need.

And your "streak," which is beginning to feel like an excuse to drag you back to the ring each year.

Whatever pit stops creative has to make on the "Road to WrestleMania," which by their own admission begins at the Royal Rumble, should be done and over with by the time Elimination Chamber wraps. From that point on, every bit of programming should be a slow yet steady build to April 6 in New Jersey.

Only WWE would hot-shot the biggest show of the year.

Undertaker is one of the all-time greats, but the way he's been handled lately feels very Diva-ish, especially when you compare it to the work rate everyone else is putting in. Am I supposed to salivate just because they teased his return?Imagine how the boys must feel. "Mark is coming for his annual appearance, places everyone, places!"

As an Undertaker fan, I want a program with teeth, but this year's big bonanza doesn't have a lot of bite.

You can be a part-timer and still make it meaningful. If you can't, then maybe it's time to hang it up or change your role. I'm sure some fans think it's blasphemous to speak out against The Undertaker, but no one who is a conduit for pay-per-view buys is beyond reproach. I'm paying to see this guy, so I want to make sure I'm getting my money's worth.

The clock is ticking.