CHIKARA: 'All the Agents and Superhuman Crew' Results (Feb. 9)

CHIKARA was back in action last night (Feb. 9, 2013) with their Season 12 premiere All the Agents and Superhuman Crew.

Let's dive right in:

• The shake up of the Colony and the Swarm continued last night as the team of Fire Ant and assailANT took on Soldier Ant and deviANT. Fire Ant and assailANT took the victory due to Soldier Ant walking out on deviANT.
• The match up of Dasher Hatfield and Delirious was over in an instant as the Old Timey King of Swing got a swift roll up on Delirious. After the match, Delirious took out his frustration on Hatfield and obliterated him.
• In tag action, the Batiri defeated everyone's favorite dessert luchadores, Los Ice Creams.
• Frightmare and Ophidian locked up in singles action. Frightmare was able to get the victory due to a distraction from Ophidian's former partner Amasis.
• The forced pairing of Sugar Dunkerton and Icarus took on the newest rudo alliance in Jigsaw and Shard. Jigsaw landed a double foot stomp off of the top rope on to Dunkerton to pick up the victory and a point towards contendership for the Campeonatos de Parejas.
• In a non-title bout, Green Ant was able to submit CHIKARA Grand Champion Eddie Kingston with a Texas Cloverleaf. Kevin Steen tried to interfere in the match but was prevented from doing so by the Director of Fun. Whilst preventing the interference from Steen, the Director of Fun was hit by Kingston. As a result of the attack, the Director of Fun made the match between Kingston and Steen at tonight's While the Dawn is Breaking a title match.
• In six man tag team action, the team of Kevin Steen and the Young Bucks defeated 3.0 and Gran Akuma with a Package Piledriver into More Bang for Your Buck.
• Hallowicked utilized a Sleepy Hollow and Yakuza Kick to defeat The Kentucky Gentleman Chuck Taylor.
• Before the main event, Tim Donst came out to the ring to confront his biggest fan, Jakob Hammermeier. During the confrontation, Donst took a pair of scissors to Hammermeier's hair and hacked a bunch of it off.
• The main event of the evening saw Archibald Peck take on his rival Mr. Touchdown Mark Angelosetti in a No Disqualification Match. Peck was able to take the victory and get revenge on Mr. Touchdown for his many crimes. More importantly though, the match saw the miraculous return of Sapphire! To the shock of everyone in professional wrestling, Peck's avian companion made a wheelchair bound return from the grave.

CHIKARA Season 12 has hit the ground running and continues tonight from Easton, PA. Stay tuned for more coverage.