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Hulk Holland's TLC Meltdown: To buy or not to buy?

The latest and greatest WWE pay-per-view (PPV) is upon us, but does it deserve our cold, hard cash?


WWE is back on pay-per-view (PPV) this Sunday night (Dec. 15, 2013) with TLC in Houston, Texas, just three short weeks after the abomination that was Survivor Series. I guess that's a good thing, as I'm sure that outside of Roman Reigns' Spear-o-rama, we'd all like to forget that we actually paid for that crap.

And despite what The Notorious Eddie Mac said, I think we may have a good, but not great night of wrestling ahead of us.

Right off the bat we have John Cena taking over for Big Show in the World Heavyweight Champion vs. WWE Champion Tables, Ladders & Chairs Match against Randy Orton. The novelty of Show's humongous chair was funny for about five minutes and this is a much stronger way to close the show. True, we aren't going to get a clean finish, but we don't need one.

That's what WrestleMania 30 is for.

With that in mind, I expect both parties to be protected. It also wouldn't surprise me to see John Cena get screwed just so he can win the Royal Rumble and get back into the main event, win it (duh) and move on to face whoever is the undisputed champ.

It probably won't be Daniel Bryan, which is a shame, because he's mired in a feud with The Wyatt Family in a 3-on-1 Handicap Match. "The Beard" will try to shave a few points off the odds heading into this bout but let's be honest, it's not really a handicap when you're as good as all three of your opponents put together.

And even if Trips doesn't like him, not even "The Game" would have Bryan lose in "The Lone Star State" (unless HB-Shizzle gets involved).

Not when there is money to be made with CM Punk, who may not enjoy the same balanced scale when he goes out on The Shield, also a 3-on-1 Handicap Match. As good as Punk is, he's been painting by numbers in recent weeks and welp, I haven't seen a bad match out of The Shield, like ever.

Punk may still be too high up the ladder, however, to have his bell rung in Houston, though I'm sure shenanigans are in order in some form or another.

Speaking of ...

You can bet Tamina Snuka will be lurking about when Divas Champion AJ Lee defends her title in the Divas Championship Match against the resurgent Natalya. I actually think they give the strap to the Total Diva just because the show, for all intents and purposes, has been a hit.

And Nattie has a little buzz.

The bigger question is whether or not she will dedicate her big win to Gizmo, after Doc McStuffins gave it the "Go To Sleep" last Sunday night on the E! Network. That's assuming Natalya actually remembers the little hairball, who was so easily replaced by its poppa, T.J. Wilson (Tyson Kidd), with another cat.

Damien Sandow could replace Big E. Langston as champion in their Intercontinental Championship Match.

Sound crazy?

I'm not sure Bigs has been making the sort of waves WWE wanted -- and that's more their fault than his -- and the higher ups are notorious for knee-jerk reactions to fan apathy, as well as stop/start pushing without any sort of long term investment in a character.

But if he wins, that means the self-proclaimed "Intellectual Savior of the Masses" will have nothing to show for his career except the time Almighty Cena let him have an extra 10 minutes in a title squash. How many more times can Sandow lose before they relegate him to the online Prelims?

He should ask Dolph Ziggler, who finds himself there alongside fellow washout Fandango, in the TLC Kickoff Match, which means I will hear them wrestling in the background and kick my kid off the couch so I can stretch out and get in position for the real action to start.

Seriously, who cares about this match? I don't, but I suppose it beats having The Miz for the 18th time.

Every wrestler on this card is a strong worker and that alone makes this a good card. But can it be great? That depends on how the intangibles factor into the narrative in the wake of last Monday night's insane closing angle on RAW that saw involvement from, well, just about everyone.

Will we see a similar thing happen on Sunday?

I want to tune in to find out, and coupled with the quality of talent involved, it pretty much makes this card a must-buy.

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