Never mind the bollocks, here's Superstars!
Rob Van Dam defeats Curt Hawkins
in approximately five minutes via pinfall
Alex Riley is back on color commentary this week (steady hand Tom Phillips remains on play-by-play) and rekindles one of the only things I used to like about Matt Striker's work on this HuluPlus streaming program - the completely made up motivation for the match! For this pairing, Hawkins is looking for revenge for the time when he was a young RVD mark and the unitarded ECW star snubbed him for an autograph.
During the opening lock-up, Van Dam takes Queens' Finest down to a side headlock. Curt stacks him up for two, but is quickly kicked to the floor. The Whole F'n Show leaps onto him with a crossbody, and rolls him back in for somersaulting senton from the top rope for a near fall of his own.
The former Edge-head hits a nice clothesline and senton for two counts, but that is the extent of his offense. RVD slams Hawkins with a spinning heel kick in the corner, then forward rolls to monkey flip him back to the center of the ring and start the finishing sequence.
One of the things that has made Mr. Thursday Night's return to WWE palatable for this hater has been how he mixes things up a little bit in the ring. During his last run for the McMahons (and definitely his TNA run) this would have been straight "rolling thunder, five star...out". And we get that here, too, but he sprinkles in a roll-up via scissoring his legs around his opponent's midsection.
Rolling Thunder still doesn't look like it hurts his opponent, and the frog splash looks like it does more damage to him than anyone else, but, you gotta send the people home happy, I suppose.
Match Footage below via WWE.com's Official YouTube Channel:
The family summit between the Rhodes and McMahon clans gets a recap, followed by Paul Heyman "proposing" to Ryback and CM Punk crashing their scene getting a full replay.
Damien Sandow defeats Justin Gabriel
in approximately seven minutes via pinfall
The leather case, handcuffed to his wrist and the ring post as nods to his feud with former tag team partner Cody Rhodes. Announcing himself as "your uncrowned World Heavyweight Champion". I love everything about Sandow's run as blue briefcase holder...except that his only wins come on Thursday nights on the internet.
Gabriel's hair is braided into a mohawked ponytail. You can't saw he's not willing to play around with his look.
The South African's speed leads to a couple of quick pin attempts, but the Intellectual Savior outsmarts him with some evasive maneuvers to take control before we head to a break.
While Damien is in control, we're treated to a few restholds, a suplex or two before the Elbow of Disdain gets a two count. Gabriel counters a body lock with jawbreaker to kickstart his high octane offense. Springboard crossbody and roundhouse kick to kneeling Sandow both almost end it, but the Lord of Literacy manages to kick out both times.
How is it that Damien Sandow hasn't held one of the mid-card belts yet?
This match needs more Darewolf. I don't even think JG howls once.
The full nelson slam that wikipedia says Sandow calls "The Silencer" gets him his first clean win since...I don't even have a guess. Probably the last time he was on Superstars?
Match Footage below via WWE.com's Official YouTube Channel:
Raw Rebound of the show-closing angle that brought Brie Bella into the WWE championship story.
They brought the star power, but the match quality was pretty middle of the road.
Grade: C
Anybody watch it? Gonna watch it?
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