Preview for the October 31, 2013 episode of TNA Impact: Abyss-ed Off

Previously on Impact Wrestling

Styles vs. Ray II was the order of the night last week (I'm sure new TNA World champion AJ Styles and Bully Ray have faced each other more than twice considering they've both been working together in TNA for the last eight years, but work with me). At the direction of President Dixie Carter, AJ had to defend his newly won title against the man he defeated for it at Bound for Glory.

You can't really blame Dixie, though. She tried to make nice with the Phenomenal One, explaining that she had only been trying to motivate him the last few weeks, with firing him and putting a bounty on his head and other techniques right out of the Vince Lombardi playbook. When the new champ wouldn't join her AJ Styles fan club, the main event was on! It would have started right in the opening promo segment, but Mr. Anderson returned to stop Bully's beatdown of AJ.

Anderson went to complete his face turn with a goofy/serious promo that would have made John Cena proud, but Dixie (like me) wasn't having it. She had the security team cuff him and throw him out of her building. Bully met with the remnants of Aces and Eights, telling Knux and Bischoff to keep the Asshole out of the main event. Cause those guys have proven to be great at TCB (taking care of business, for you Elvis-less heathens in the audience)...

Lai'D Tapa was established as new Knockouts champ Gail Kim's muscle, even though her superkick to Velvet Sky seemed to draw as much air as Shawn Michaels' version at Hell in a Cell. Ethan Carter III continued to give hints that there could be a promising character in there, once you get past the family name and the fact that he has only appeared in squash matches thus far.

Kurt Angle and Bobby Roode turned up the heat on their feud, with the It Factor interrupting the Olympian's re-explanation of why he turned down induction into the TNA Hall of Fame. Angle isn't medically cleared to wrestle, but that doesn't mean he can't FIGHT! Their segment was entirely by the book - anyone who's been watching wrestling for a month could have scripted it. And it was one of if not the best thing on last week's Impact.

The Magnus heel turn continued to fizzle simmer, as Sting verbally put him over and he accepted in a way that made you think he didn't think he needed it, if you know what I mean. Meanwhile, TNA's tag revival seems to be in full swing, as the Bro-Mans had their championship celebration crashed by Gunner and James Storm, providing fodder for Kaz to unleash the line of the night when he said of that foursome, "I see two bros, one brain, a cowboy and a pretend viking." I wish he and his Bad Influence partner Christopher Daniels had waited until Eric Young and Joseph Park waded into the mix...I would have loved to have heard the Fallen Angel bag on those two.

AJ retained his belt in the main event with the help of Asshole-ference (told you that Knux and Garett were good for nothins), then wiped his butt with Dixie's contract and made litke the wee babyface Sheamus' and stole Carter's car.

TONIGHT

Previews are spoiler-free, but tonight's broadcast was taped last Thursday in Salt Lake City. If you're interested in the results, we've got you covered - click here.

Since everyone is following along with their new 24/7 promotion, you don't even need me to tell you what's scheduled, right?

Oh, alright. Kurt Angle looks to get his win back from Bobby Roode. As a matter of fact, it's a night of Bound for Glory do-overs, because ODB will have a shot at reclaiming the Knockouts belt from Kim and Robbie E and Jessie Godderz butt heads and pump fists with Storm and Gunner over the tag titles.

And, according to this 24/7 video, webmaster Carter has herself removed AJ's picture from the Impact Wrestling website - which is the Florida State Athletic Commission's official means of vacating a combat sports' title - and she's scheming with her minions to come up with a way to fill the vacancy.

Expect to pop for:

Abyss. It's Halloween! And, according to the page Dixie was working her html magic on, he's the longest reigning champ in the company!

I thought that when he said he was taking the Television title to "the Abyss", he meant like an "immeasurably deep chasm, depth or void" or "the primeval chaos out of which it was believed the earth and sky were formed", not just his man cave.

But, yeah, we're due for our bi-monthly dose of nostalgia pop for Joseph Park in a mask to black hole slam some mugs. Let's do this!

The heat is on:

The resale value of Dixie's convertible. Look, drop tops don't age well as it is. Too many moving parts, too many rich kids or their mid-life crisis suffering parents running them ragged.

But if reports of AJ headed down to AAA this weekend to defend his belt south of the border are true, the mileage alone is gonna kill that car. And I'm sure AJ is not going to be too careful with it. I bet he even swerves into potholes.

I don't even want to know how he's gonna get it to Japan...

Will Impact be up to it's usual tricks, or surprise us with a nice treat?

Let us know what you think, join the live blog tonight and keep it on CSS for all of your TNA news!