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Hello, Cagesiders! Welcome to the second Cageside Seats Week in Wrestling of 2013! As Good Ol' J.R. would say, this week saw business pick up in WWE with the return of The Rock and a surprise World Heavyweight Title change. Meanwhile, TNA forgot to strongly their Genesis pay-per-view in favour of furthering their Hogan Knows Best soap opera with a sudden marriage proposal. Find out all the other goings on in WWE and TNA over the past week with our latest weekly synopsis of all their televised shows.
WWE
Raw (Jan. 7th)
- A John Cena promo is interrupted by Dolph Ziggler, AJ Lee and Big E Langston, which allows Cena to practice his juvenile stand up routine and for Ziggler to announce his own entrance into the 2013 Royal Rumble match. Cena challenges Ziggler to a match which he seemed not to keen to take, but did anyway.
- John Cena pinned Dolph Ziggler with the AA, despite a ref bump allowing Langston to lay out Cena with his finisher for the third time in a row.
- Kaitlyn defeated WWE Divas Champion Eve Torres by count out when Torres walked out on the match.
- Wade Barrett disturbed Santino Marella chatting to Ricky "The Dragon" Steamboat to trash them both, which led to Steamboat saying he would be in Santino's corner tonight for his match against Barrett.
- 3MB barged in on Randy Orton's backstage interview, which led to Orton challenging Heath Slater to a bout later.
- The Rhodes Scholars defeated WWE Tag Team Champions Team Hell No in a non-title match when Cody Rhodes pinned Daniel Bryan with the Crossroads.
- Randy Orton pinned Heath Slater with the RKO. After the match, Jinder Mahal and Drew McIntyre eat RKOs too.
- WWE Intercontinental Champion Wade Barrett pinned Santino Marella with the Bull Hammer. After the match, Steamboat blocked an attempted cheap shot by Barrett and teased a fight, but Barrett slinked away.
- 3MB stumbled into a Sheamus backstage interview, so the Irish fella could make Cena-esque lame jokes at their expense and sing Danny Boy badly.
- Antonio Cesaro defeated The Great Khali with the Neutralizer again.
- Brad Maddox told Paul Heyman he'd be willing to persuade Vickie Guerrero to make him the referee for the WWE Championship match later, but Heyman refused the offer and still wanted him out of his hair.
- Sheamus pinned Jinder Mahal after hitting all three members of 3MB with the Brogue Kick.
- WWE Champion CM Punk defeated Ryback in a TLC match after The Shield powerbombed Ryback through a table that was set up on the steel steps. Punk teased a pipe bomb for later.
- Vickie Guerrero told Team Hell No that their four month psychological evaluation with Dr. Shelby will happen next week. The angry duo inevitably have a duelling words fight.
- World Heavyweight Champion Big Show squashed Kofi Kingston with the WMD.
- CM Punk cut a lengthy promo where he turned on the people and dissed WWE legends like Bruno Sammartino and Ric Flair. The Rock finally came out and dropped the tone by getting the crowd to chant Cookie Puss at Punk, but eventually got serious, told him that in just 20 days his time is up as WWE Champion and laid him out with the Rock Bottom to close the show.
NXT (Jan. 9th)
- The Wyatt Family (Luke Harper and Rowan) defeated Yoshi Tatsu & Percy Watson when Harper pinned Tatsu.
- Paige defeated Emma via pinfall with the Paige Turner (a swinging leg slam).
- Adrian Neville, still billing himself as "The Man That Gravity Forgot", announced his NXT debut on next week's episode.
- Primo & Epico defeated Bo Dallas & Michael McGillicutty when Primo pinned McGillicutty with the Backstabber.
- Big E Langston defeated Seth Rollins via pinfall with the Big Ending to become the new NXT Champion, thanks to Tyson Kidd, Justin Gabriel and other NXT babyfaces chasing the other Shield members to the back.
Main Event (Jan. 9th)
- Sheamus defeated Dolph Ziggler in a long match via count-out, after a Brogue Kick caused Ziggler to fly out of the ring, Sheamus went after him but was blocked by Big E Langston, so the Great White decided to beat the count instead. After the match, Sheamus wanted a fight with Langston, who teased accepting, but opted against it.
- WWE Intercontinental Champion Wade Barrett pinned Zack Ryder with the Bull Hammer.
Superstars (Jan. 10th)
- Miz defeats Tensai via pinfall with the Skull Crushing Finale.
- Brodus Clay & Zack Ryder defeated The Primetime Players (Titus O'Neil and Darren Young) when Clay pinned Young with the big splash. Oh my, the PTP must really be in the doghouse with WWE management.
SmackDown (Jan. 11th)
- A beaming Smackdown GM Booker T announced that there would be Antonio Cesaro vs. Randy Orton, an appearance by The Rock and a Last Man Standing Match for the World Heavyweight Championship on the show. Big Show is pissed at Booker for giving Alberto Del Rio a title match in Miami and started to choke him out to force a change of mind. Of course, the new WWE Latino hero made the save.
- Randy Orton defeated Antonio Cesaro via disqualification thanks to a run-in from The Shield who left "The Viper" laying for a second time just as he was about to go for the RKO.
- 3MB announced that they will enter the 2013 Royal Rumble match too and wanted revenge for Sheamus' completely out of tune singing on Monday Night.
- CM Punk and Paul Heyman did a promo in the middle of Sun Life Stadium telling The Rock that this isn't the same WWE that The Rock left in 2004, this is a CM Punk led WWE and he won't let him have his feel good moment at the Rumble.
- Alberto Del Rio vowed that he would be the last man standing and the new World Heavyweight Champion at the end of the night.
- Dolph Ziggler & AJ Lee defeated The Great Khali & Natalya when AJ pinned Natalya. After the match, Ziggler and Big E Langston destroy Khali and Hornswoggle.
- Back in the Sun Life Stadium, Punk tells Rock that "the people deserve to rot in hell", he's the best in the world and he's better than him.
- The Rock ran through his catchphrases and promised that he'd kick CM Punk's Cookie Puss ass and win the WWE Championship at the Royal Rumble. Rhodes Scholars interrupted so Rock could do his verbal put downs and lay them both out with his patented moves.
- Sheamus defeated 3MB in a handicap match when Drew McIntyre and Jinder Mahal let Heath Slater run in on his own to eat a Brogue Kick for the pin.
- WWE Tag Team Champions Team Hell No defeated The Prime Time Players when Kane hit the chokeslam for the pin.
- Alberto Del Rio defeated The Big Show in the Last Man Standing Match to become the new World Heavyweight Champion after Del Rio got up from the WMD at the count of 9, dodged Show charging at him with the ring steps who crashed into a steel post, and tipped the announcers table on top of Show which was too heavy for him to get up in time.
Saturday Morning Slam (Jan. 12th)
- Randy Orton pinned Damien Sandow with the RKO.
TNA
- Sting, Kurt Angle and Samoa Joe opened up with a promo putting Aces and 8s on notice. Angle wanted to know whose side Mr. Anderson is on. Anderson got in Angle's face, which led to the former Olympian responding with fisticuffs until the asshole bailed.
- Mark (Bully Ray not The Undertaker) phoned Brooke Hogan from which we gather that he was in the building and going to ignore his suspension.
- Kenny King pinned Zema Ion with his finisher in the X Division title shot tournament.
- Robbie T & Miss Tessmacher defeated Jessie & Tara when T pinned Jessie with a powerbomb. After the match, T and Tessmacher kiss leaving Robbie E crestfallen.
- Jay Bradley pinned Brian Cage with a lariat in a Gut Check match.
- Mr. Anderson was in the Aces and 8s clubhouse upset at what had happened earlier and wanted something doing about it. The group decided to give Mike Knox an opportunity to make up for losing his mask last week, like Doc had in the past.
- Joseph Park, back from a successful OVW training camp, spoke with Hulk Hogan in the ring and asked him for a chance to be a TNA wrestler. Wanting him off his back, The Hulkster caved in to his demands. Park promised Hulk that he wouldn't let him down.
- Brooke Hogan interrupted her father's exit to beg for Mark's reinstatement as a TNA wrestler. Hulk stubbornly refused and stormed off, which left Brooke on the verge of tears.
- Jeff Hardy & James Storm defeated Bobby Roode & Austin Aries by disqualification when Aries gave Hardy a belt shot, after Christopher Daniels and Kazarian came down and brawled with Storm to the back.
- Brooke was on the phone to Mark again and told him not to come to the Impact Zone, but he pushed the issue and she relented.
- A Matt Morgan and Joey Ryan promo badmouthing the TNA Tag Team Champions Chavo Guerrero and Hernandez is cut short when they showed up and started brawling with them briefly.
- A scheduled match between Kurt Angle and Mr. Anderson doesn't take place as Mike Knox takes Angle out with the hammer before the opening bell. Garrett Bischoff, Wes Briscoe and Samoa Joe made the save but it's too late, as Angle got stretchered out. Sting then came down to call out Knox.
- Sting squashed Mike Knox and pinned him with the Stinger Splash. Sting grabbed the hammer to get revenge for Angle, but Aces and 8s stopped him in his tracks by bringing out Brooke Hogan, who they'd kidnapped. Of course, Bully Ray made the save, while Hulk Hogan looked on contemplatively.
- Bully Ray then professed his love for Brooke to the Hulkster and asked her to marry him. She accepted and they made out in front of her dear old dad. We've got another in-ring wedding to look forward to, Cagesiders. Hulk left the ring super pissed, while his daughter is over the moon and still kissing Bully Ray.
Be sure to click all the corresponding tabs to find out more with live blogs and post-event reactions.
Until next week, Cagesiders!