clock menu more-arrow no yes mobile

Filed under:

Hollywood Holland's Mid-week Meltdown: The Tragic Edition

Cageside's own Hollywood Holland isn't going to launch into some juvenile shtick where he buries as many people as possible this week, or is he?"

Welcome to the meltdown.

I know what you're probably thinking, "Gee, with the tragedy that afflicted World Wrestling Entertainment (WWE) commentator Jerry Lawler earlier this week on Raw, he's not going to launch into some juvenile shtick where he buries as many people as possible, is he?"

Yes he is!

First of all, what happened to Jerry Lawler was not a "tragedy." Sorry, I know you want a "serious" word to throw around, but let's face it, it wasn't a tragedy. It was a fucking miracle! Hallelujah! Do you know how many people die from their first heart attack each year in the U.S. alone?

Neither do I, but I'm sure it's a lot.

What happened to Owen Hart was a tragedy. Droz? Tragedy. Those are two examples of life not affording you a do-over and from what initial reports indicate, "The King" did not suffer brain damage, survived emergency surgery and may get a second chance at life.

For that, as a pro wrestling fan, I am extremely grateful.

That's why I ask you to join me in celebration, because he made it. Not only did he make it, this incident will change the WWE forever as it re-evaluates how to effectively use on-air talent. Hey, at the very least, we can move forward and not have to suffer through another lame skit designed to generate cheap heat (or cheers) at the expense of the announcers.

The announce tables, I'm afraid, may not be so lucky.

I know, I know, he's not out of the woods yet and has a long road to recovery and it's too early to tell if blabbity-friggin-blah. Can we get a little optimism for a change? There are plenty of things to be depressed about, like Geno Mrosko's hackneyed writing, but there are also plenty of things to be thankful for.

Like me!

I'm not downplaying what happened on Monday night. That was pretty fucking frightening. But that's the kind of situation you don't get to practice for and I was overwhelmingly impressed with how it unfolded. Not just the talent, but the medical personnel, the backstage crew and even the fans.

Yes, guys and gals like you.

The pro wrestling community is a strong one. Sure, we bitch and moan about how the product should be if geniuses like ourselves were in charge, and we piss all over our brethren because they cheer for a wrestler we despise, but when the sky is falling, you can always count on each other to find shelter.

That was never more evident than last Monday night.

Jerry Lawler suffered a major heart attack on live television, but he survived. He survived because he's just like us, the fans, a stubborn bastard who doesn't like to concede anything without a fight. I can't think of anyone more fit than Lawler to be "King" of the WWE universe.

Sign up for the newsletter Sign up for the Cageside Seats Daily Roundup newsletter!

A daily roundup of all your pro wrestling news from Cageside Seats