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TNA Impact results and reactions from last night (June 28): Baby momma drama

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Not even Joey Ryan could save this abomination of a show. Photo by Barry Shimauchi via Wikimedia Commons.
Not even Joey Ryan could save this abomination of a show. Photo by Barry Shimauchi via Wikimedia Commons.

Total Nonstop Action (TNA) Wrestling brought its latest episode of Impact to Orlando, Florida, last night (Thurs., June 28, 2012) with a show that featured the continuation of the Bound for Glory (BFG) Series and yet another big reveal in the Dixie Carter-AJ Styles-Claire storyline.

Let's get to reactions to the show:

  • I came into the Summer Series of live shows with an open mind. I wanted to enjoy the product. But I can't. Because no matter how much you tell me "it's not so bad," a shit sandwich is still a shit sandwich. And this episode came with triple the meat. The meat being shit, of course.
  • Not only did they not quickly do away with the Crackhead Claire actress, but they brought her back and featured her even more prominently. You would think these grown men and women could tell she completely died in front of the Impact Zone crowd last week and didn't wish to see her again but no. That ain't them. Not at all. On top of her being a drug addict who is trying to get clean, she's now pregnant ... and the father is AJ Styles! Who the hell thought that would help anything? So now we have a drug addict who we think is clean but has had relapses and woken up next to complete strangers just to get her fixes and now she has a fucking kid? Seriously? I'm guessing because she was apparently banging complete strangers, TNA's next move is to get Maury Povich to come on the show and build to the main event segment where we find out if Styles is actually the father. Knowing TNA they would try to swerve everyone and have Christopher Daniels be revealed as the father. Just because SWERVE!
  • Seriously, this storyline and its unbelievable stupidity has me contemplating whether or not to even acknowledge TNA exists on this website. There's real talent on the roster and instead of prominently featuring it, they choose to focus on some of the dumbest writing in the history of time. This is a good storyline for an 11 a.m. soap opera that old ladies watch while they knit and sip tea. Not pro wrestling fans.
  • Kazarian finds out Daniels is lying and does the natural thing and tries to separate himself from the situation. Credit where it's due because that actually makes sense. What's that you say? They ended up having Kazarian turn before actually fully turning him and hit Styles with a chair to win the tag titles with Daniels? TNA, ladies and gentlemen.

The rest of the show after the jump.

  • Did I mention how fucking terrible this show was? God awful.
  • TNA doesn't know how to write a decent coherent storyline that pro wrestling fans will actually enjoy, so let's just focus on the matches instead. That seems like a good idea, right? WRONG! Mr. Anderson vs. Rob Van Dam kicked things off and put on what was undoubtedly one of the worst matches of the year. General sloppiness, botched spots, lack of energy, dead crowd; this one had it all. Oh and guys? False finishes only work if you break them out when fans actually believe the match has an even remote chance of ending. I think I counted 72 pinfall attempts. If a dropkick didn't get a pin four seconds earlier, I'm pretty sure your measly clothesline isn't going to get one four seconds later. Psychology, folks; it's your friend.
  • Even Bobby Roode, who I've grown rather fond of since he became champion, had an off night. His promo on Austin Aries was seriously lacking. The gist of it was that Aries would fail because he set himself up to fail because he's good at failing, the big failure. Fail.
  • No complaints on Sonjay Dutt vs. Rubix, which was a damn good match with solid pacing and a cool finish. A moonsault double foot stomp? That's pretty cool, all things considered.
  • Bully Ray is a great heel who gets good heat and knows how to work the crowd. But long, drawn out matches never have been and never will be his strong point, even now that he's in the best shape of his career. Putting him in with Samoa Joe may have seemed like a good idea but they had a decidedly mediocre match that looked even worse thanks to the steaming pile of shit show it was surrounded by.
  • Also, I'm ready to move on past this Joseph Park thing. There is no good ending here and with TNA steadily building its track record of continuously insulting anyone who actually bothers to tune in to its product, I'm not even going to kind of allow my hopes to get up. Sit back down, hopes.
  • Really, the only redeeming aspect of this show was Joey Ryan returning to interrupt Taeler Hendrix's Gut Check reveal. I'm an 87-percenter. You should be too.
  • Anyone else surprised TNA actually avoided the 800-pound elephant in the room in regards to Hendrix's looks? It's disingenuous, really. How can they possibly evaluate a woman talent without bringing up her physical appearance? We all know that's part of the game, especially in TNA where there's plenty of focus on, well ... look at the three letters, folks.
  • Also, who the hell spells Taylor like that? Taeler? What the hell is that? You're not clever and neither are your parents. It isn't creative, it's just annoying. Isn't that the first rule in show business? If you're name sucks, change it? This is even worse because she's in pro wrestling and you pretty much have the lay of the land as far as names go. Do like Dave Bautista and rearrange the spelling, at least. Have some common fucking courtesy why don't you.
  • What are the chances Brooke Hogan is making more money than the entire Knockouts division? Doesn't that thought make you sad?

This show gets an F. And not just an F like 69 is a D- and 68 is an F and this scored a 67 type F. This gets an F like 69 is a D- and 68 and below is an F and this is a 3. That three is Joey Ryan.

If you watched, feel free to share your thoughts. I won't even mind if you fly off the rails in this thread.