Hollywood Holland's Midweek Meltdown: The sitz bath edition

Let me just start off by saying I was shocked to hear police were not investigating this week's big story.

I know things can get out of hand in the heat of the moment, but someone could have gotten seriously injured. It was a disgusting display between two people who demonstrated a profound lack of maturity while embarrassing a major company and the network supporting them.

But enough about Hulk Hogan and Heather Clam.

It's been a busy week in the World Wrestling Entertainment (WWE) "Universe," ever since CM Punked some fool in the stands who may (or may not) have been in cahoots with this marble-mouthed shitstain, whose verbal episiotomy nearly compelled me to defecate on my own keyboard.

No matter.

The gang here at Cageside Seats have covered Monday Night RAW ad nauseam, but that hasn't stopped Geno Mrusso from concocting a "crazy" idea about turning a situation that "sucks" into 15 minutes of fame. Hey, I have a "crazy" idea, too!

How about we stop ripping off Seinfeld lawsuits and passing them off as our own "angles?"

The General did manage to redeem himself with this reactionary piece about guys in their sixties taking bumps (no, not Hogan), but I'm much more alarmed by the company's decision to continually send talent into a raucous crowd. It's funny when kids kick Arnold Vosloo in the shins for being a bad mummy.

It's not funny when Monica Seles gets stabbed for being, well, Monica Seles.

Like Caine said at the end of Menace II Society, "It was funny like that sometimes. You never knew what was gonna happen, or when."

Stay out of the stands, homie.

I see Linda McMahon is still campaigning for a government position representing Connecticut. I also see that I still don't give a shit, because I don't live in "The Nutmeg State." That's by choice, as I don't want to have my car's suspension replaced every six to eight weeks.

All kidding aside, the highways in that awful state have more holes in them than Jim Cornette's pay-per-view story.

News flash, Corny: When you're good at your job, they let you keep it. That's why I expect to see Kofi Kingston continue to blossom as the belle of the ball on afterthought shows like Main Event and Saturday Morning Slam. If you're too macho to tune into anything other than RAW (or its highlights show on Friday night), I ask you to reconsider.

They happen to be fun.

Probably because the run time is trimmed down to something digestible. I also like that neither show is bogged down with long-winded promos or unnecessary drama. Couple of video spots, some goofy trivia and a good old-fashioned wrestling match, usually between two guys who can move. Imagine that, enjoying a wrestling show for wrestling.

Maybe (gasp!) firing Brian Gerwirtz wasn't the answer after all.