TNA's go-home episode of Impact for Final Destination (Dec. 11) was taped last night and the final touches for the final pay-per-view (PPV) of 2011 were put into place.
What do wrestling fans have in store for them come December 8?
Sting, Bobby Roode, and Dixie Carter have a pow wow and try to hash out their differences and Abyss takes on Samoa Joe in singles action. Meanwhile, Crimson and Matt Morgan confront their Final Destination opponents D'Angelo Dinero and Devon.
Two former Knockouts champions collide when Mickie James steps inside the ring against Madison Rayne and the main event sees Roode team up with with Jeff Jarrett to take on A.J. Styles and Jeff Hardy.
Also, I'm going to start typing in carny. Fizull spizoilers after the jizump.
Y'know what? I'm going to go ahead and put the kibosh on that.
The show opens up with Heath Ledger #1 Fan Sting, women's right activist Dixie Carter, and TNA World Heavyweight Champion Bobby Roode inside the ring. Sting wants Roode to apologize to Miss TNA for acting messed towards towards her but the champ goes all Flavor of Love Pumkin on her instead with a loogie before deucing out.
Abyss beats Samoa Joe (remember him?) after Bully Ray and Scott Steiner interfered. The Immortal members tried to play nice with the monster but he has less sympathy than teeth in his head and nailed "Big Poppa Pump" with a Black Hole Slam.
Next up the tag champs -- Crimson and Matt Morgan -- are inside the ring with their Final Destination opponent Devon and D'Angelo Dinero. Y'know, as bad as they book their women, I wouldn't be half surprised if TNA gave the challengers an awful and racially insensitive name. Anyway, they jaw back and forth and then start brawling. Devon and Crimson end up fighting to the back while "The Pope" and Morgan keep it in the ring. But Devon's kids -- who think Dinero is just tops, I mean the bee's knees -- join in to help their hero.
Take it from me, kids. Never trust a man with a BeDazzled surgical mask. You'll only end up getting your heart broken.
Building off her victory over ODB at the Dec. 1 Impact, Mickie James picks up a win against Karen Jarrett sycophant Madison Rayne. After the match, TNA Knockouts champion and hoser downer Gail Kim comes out to mad dog "Hardcore Country."
Next, a well-established homegrown talent takes on a promising up and comer in a hell of a match.
No, you dummies! Eric Bischoff's son Garrett beats Gunner before getting piledrived (thanks Jim Ross!) on the outside. The segment ends with "Easy E's" baby boy getting the "does he have a pulse treatment."
I really hope the phrase "does he have a pulse treatment" becomes a thing. Then at least one good thing would have come out of that awful Triple H/Kevin Nash segment.
Kurt Angle and James Storm then hype up their match on Dec. 11.
Kim makes her way back to the ring to take on Traci who lays down for the champ but ends up kicking out at two. It took a Karen Jarrett distraction and Rayne interference to help Kim pick up the win.
In the main event, Styles and Hardy beat Roode and Jarrett after Styles countered the champ into a rollup. The Battle of the Jeffs refused to be contained inside the ring and spilled to the outside and backstage leaving Roode and his challenger for Final Destination by their lonesome. Styles plays up a knee injury which Roode exploits post-match as the show ends.
There you have it, folks. See you on Dec. 11!