Tonight we venture, for the first time, into the world of live blogging with TNA Impact Wrestling. Normally, we've done only Raw, seeing as it's the only live show of the big three, but recently the decision was made to live blog Raw, Impact and Smackdown, as well.
So here we are.
Tonight's show will feature James Storm defending his heavyweight title against Bobby Roode, as well as all the usual shenanigans with Impact.
Whether that be good or bad depends on your perspective.
The show kicks off at 9 p.m. ET on Spike TV, so join us then for our live blog and full results, which are posted after the jump.
TNA RESULTS AND LIVE BLOG NOV. 3
Geno here. See you at showtime, folks. Geno running late but hey, the show must go on. Which has to be the TNA mantra since I can't think of any other reason why they're still on the air with some of the hackneyed booking as of late.
Speaking of bizarre angles, we open with a Beer Money montage, which reminds me that I've yet to get that five-spot Sergio owes me for the warm case of Old Milwaukee.
Show kicks off with James Storm screaming incoherently at the crowd.
Now he's rambling on about Southern hospitality and patriotism and I'm not sure I'm digging his Macho Man beard-hat homage. Especially after he starts talking about tombstones.
Where the hell is he going with this?
Shouts something about drinking beer and the crowd responds with an obligatory pop. Now he's going on about football and church. I wish this was the Oscars we could just hit the music. Oh wait, he's managed to locate his point and not surprisingly, it's about Bobby Roode, future opponent and the second half of Booze Dollars.
Storm tells Roode he's getting the first title shot because even he knows he got screwed in the Kurt Angle match at Bound for Glory.
Oh, hello Hulk.
Roode trying to sell Beer Money as one of the greatest tag teams in the history of the business. Whoa, slow down kid. I grew up in the eighties, k? He starts putting over Storm as a "brother" and friend and blah blah blah. Says he'll "bring it."
I swear I've heard that somewhere before.
Roode goes for the geographical pop and the segment ends with "the spirit of competition" and both guys are acting respectful and chummy -- but you can bet that crap won't last once the gold's on the line in tonight's main event.
And yes! Ronnie from Jersey Shore is in da howse! Whoot! Never thought I'd be so glad to cut to commercial. Said commercial has half the roster shilling for auto Insurance. That was way funnier than it was intended to be.
Back from the break and it's the Knockout Tag Team Championship bout. Uh, what time was Ronnie coming on again?
Brooke and Tara defending the straps against Gail Kim Madison Rayne. The champs are wearing so little clothing their ass cheeks are literally hanging out. Not that I'm complaining. Kim certainly looks much happier to be in a promotion that will actually promoter her.
Oh god, Karen Jarrett is ringside and screaming. Brooke booty bumps Kim in the corner and the gratuitous ass shot delivers. Kim gets the advantage finally after some interference from Rayne. Cameras pan out to show what looks to be a pretty solid sized live crowd. Much better than the dumphole that is the Impact Zone.
Carnage has broke out in the ring. Tara hits her big spot but Jarrett distracts the referee. Kim comes in and lands a move I've never seen before, throws Rayne on top of Tara and they get the pinfall to win the tag titles. TNA has now pushed Gail Kim more in two weeks than WWE did in as many months.
Backstage promo from Garrett Bischoff. This kid has about as much charisma as a baked potato.
Garrett's in the ring now and telling us how crazy the last few weeks have been. "It blows my mind," he says, "that things have gotten this crazy."
Dude, you're a Bischoff. Isn't this like a typical Thursday for you?
Says he actually wants to go ahead and give Eazy E his apology so come on down, dear old dad, and let's do this thing.
Eric has a shit-eating grin on his face. The crowd chants that he sucks. Garrett says he wants to apologize face-to-face. "I'm sorry I haven't lived up to your expectations. And I'm sorry that I let you down at Bound for Glory."
Garret says he's sorry he hasn't grown into the man Eric wants him to be. The old man responds with a great line, perfectly delivered:
"There's still hope," as he shakes his head.
Garrett says he's the most sorry for not doing this sooner -- pop! Drills his dad and beats on him until Immortal comes running down to make the save.
Backstage and Sting is walking before being stopped by Samoa Joe. Sting says there's a new sheriff in town and things are better in TNA for it. Joe makes a threat and Sting plays it off well.
Bischoff enters stage left and wants to make a deal. Ric Flair came up with a great idea. They want a match. Get the punk kid Garrett in the ring. If Sting lets it happen, then he can rewrite Eric's contract to make sure it's not guaranteed, meaning the Stinger can fire him. Sting needs to take to Garrett first, of course.
More backstage segment and look who it is, Christopher Daniels. He's claiming he beat A.J. Styles at Bound for Glory. His saying "I quit" was an audio recording played by Styles. He walked out on his own power, therefore he won the match. Now he's saying he beat Rob Van Dam last week. Ha. This guy is phenomenal.
RVD shows up behidn him and waits to announce his presence. Finally, he turns around and is greeted by a tasty knuckle sandwich. RVD whoops his ass with camera movement reminiscent of Saving Private Ryan. Finally, Daniels cuts bait and runs his ass out of there. RVD tells him to run, because he'll see him at Turning Point.
Did you know Ronnie from Jersey Shore will be here tonight? Sure you did, they've only advertised it like 60 times now.
Jesse Sorenson already in the ring upon return from the break. Austin Aries makes his way out to plenty of boos.
Jesse Sorenson vs. Austin Aries -- "None with a bigger swagger than Aries," Tazz tells us. Sorenson, of course, is the complete opposite. Aries tells the crowd to quiet down while Sorenson motions for them to get loud.
Good one, fellas.
Some chain wrestling to start and Kid Kash comes out to the commentators table. He's pissed off as all hell and cutting a big promo on Sorenson. Putting over Aries while doing so. Aries hits a suicide dive into the barricade. Just keeps working him over while Kash continues to yap and yap on commentary. Sorenson makes his big comeback but only gets a two count on a dropkick.
Misses a crossbody off the top rope and Aries is back in control. Hits a big kick in the corner. Pulls Sorenson to the middle of the ring but watch out, quick roll up gets the victory.
Now Kash is saying he's going to get his knife so he can "cut that little bitch." Stay classy, Impact.
Backstage promos with James Storm and Bobby Roode putting over their match later in the night for the world title. It's all about the belt, nothing personal between the two.
One of my favorite characters on the show, Robbie E, makes his way out. I'm not sure why I like this guy but he's perfect for this gimmick.
Robbie grabs the mic and says he's cutting right to the chase. Eric Young and Ronnie need to get their asses out here now. Ronnie couldn't look any more goofy. Young looks like Evan Tanner with that beard.
Robbie says he's been waiting to come face-to-face with Ronnie for a long time, bro. Jersey Shore sucks, bro. Tells Ronnie he sucks, bro, while slyly positioning himself behind his bodyguard. What he's trying to tell him, my dude, is he can kick his ass anytime he wants, bro.
"How about right now?", inquires Ronnie.
Robbie tells him to get off his turf before he punks Ronnie like The Situation did. That's when Ronnie snaps and goes after Robbie E. Big Robbie, of course, makes the save and they proceed to get a belt out and whip Ronnie across his back with it. Young gets taken out in short order, tossed like a baby.
The Robbie's bail out and Young tells them it's weird that they whipped Ronnie with the belt. Cuts a promo designed to promote Jersey Shore and says he's going to get Sting to set up a match between the four on Impact next week. Tenay tells us Sting already approved.
Jeff Jarrett and Bully Ray will take on Jeff Hardy and Mr. Anderson next. Don't go anywhere!
Jarrett and Ray vs. Hardy and Anderson -- The "Assholes" gimmick from Anderson is the dumbest thing ever thought up by anyone, ever. So is the microphone introduction. Everything about Anderson is horrible. He got a big pop but some of it was piped, or at least it sounded like it. Hardy got some real reaction, as he usually does.
Hardy starts it out with Ray, early edge to the heels. Hardy comes back with the hurricanrana. Ray squashes him, though, and tags in Jarrett. Dropkick and splash from Jeff. Lariat from out of the corner. Bully Ray distracts the referee and allows Jarrett to go back on offense. Tags back out to Ray.
Bully comes in screaming at him that he's a drug addict. Legit chant for Hardy breaks out but Ray and Jarrett are just going back and forth working him over.
Finally, Hardy gets a hot tag and Anderson comes in to do work. Gets a two count on Ray but Jarrett breaks it up. Hardy comes in and they tag team in the corner. Two spots on both sides from both guys. They set up Jarrett and Ray to come off the top rope but -- big surprise -- run-in from Scott Steiner.
The crowd boos the same tired booking we've always seen.
Jarrett and Ray hit their finishers before posing to a chorus of boos.
Back and Sting is hitting up Garrett Bischoff about Eric's offer. Garrett agrees to it while Sting is telling him it's the wrong move. Garrett ends up begging him and Sting relents. Shake hands and make it official.
Matt Morgan comes waltzing out and he's looking as big as ever. The crowd actually chants for him too. He says he loves them but he wants Crimson to come out to the ring.
Tenay still pushing Crimson as being undefeated since making his in-ring debut back in February.
Morgan says his Twitter followers are asking him when he's finally going to have a match against Crimson. Stupid questions, though, so he won't answer. Why bring them up then?
Says he's busted his ass to headline pay-per-views for TNA. He's an athlete and he gets off on competition so screw it, let's give the fans the match they (supposedly) want to see. Crimson vs. "The Blueprint." Crimson says fans have been blowing up his Twitter too.
Pro wrestling and Twitter, a match made in hell.
Crimson says he'd be willing to bet his bank account on his ability to beat Morgan. Says he wants Morgan to show up at Turning Point and bring his A game. Because nobody is ending the streak. They stare each other down and jaw a bit before Crimson backs out of the ring.
Not a bad little set up to a match.
Time for Beer Money to get busy.
James Storm vs. Bobby Roode -- Borash is introducing both guys and it's killing me how they're giving this away like this. What a stupid decision. Everything in TNA is built on TV and they don't give a crap about pay-per-view but that's a losing business model. The fact that this match-up still feels like a big deal despite the build to it shows how much they could have done with it if they had taken the time.
The chain wrestle to get rolling and both guys give the other their time before getting their own in. They work extremely well together and that's apparent within the first two minutes.
I love the story they're telling. Friends who both want the belt badly while they take advantage of shared knowledge. Of course, that means everything the other one does cancels out. Great stuff so far.
Storm with the advantage as they fade back in but Roode quickly turns it around and chops the hell out of Storms chest. Those chops will never make sense to me. It's a shoot in a worked environment. Not necessary. They hurt like hell, too.
Control back to Storm, but only briefly, as Roode hits a big clothesline coming out of the corner. Goes up top and gets drilled for his trouble. Time for a superplex.
Both men laid out until the count of nine from the referee and they exchange punches on their way back up. Some rope running leads to a big back body drop. Roode hits a neckbreaker off the top rope shortly after. Tazz hints at Roode's frustration for being unable to get the upper hand for long. Cross body off the top gets countered into a quick pin attempt from Roode and it's a two count.
Same thing in reverse, with a counter leading to a pin attempt from Storm that gets two.
Eye of the Storm misses and Roode hits a spinebuster that only gets a two count. Clothesline over the top rope to the outside translates into a rest spot.
Storm looks gassed. The ref breaks the count at nine. Roode counters a DDT into a crossface and yells at Storm to tap. Doesn't happen, though, because Storm put his foot on the rope.
"This is wrestling!! (clap clap clapclapclap)" chant breaks out. Roode sets up for a big spot off the top but Storm pushes him off. Hits a big elbow but the ensuing pin only gets two. Storm calls for the Last Call. Roode catches it and they chain wrestle leading to a ref bump. The ref jumped to the outside and is grasping his knee like he twisted it up.
Roode sent to the outside close to the ref. Sees the ref hurt and looks at a beer bottle sitting on the ring steps. Grabs it and cracks Storm over the head with it. The ref climbs in and counts the pin without ever having seen what happened.
New champion, folks.
They pipe in unnecessary boos while Roode spits on Storm and poses with his foot on Storm's chest holding up the belt as the show fades out.