Call me a busted fridge because I'm spoiling everything!
Lame joke aside, the stars of TNA went back to the Impact Zone last night for their second round of Impact tapings. The show is set to air on Thanksgiving Day so after you're down throwing down at the dinner table and have a belly full of turkey, mashed potatoes, and stuffing, you can sit in front of the TV and catch some wrestling action.
What's on tap for the episode? Well, you can expect to see the storylines from the fallout of Turning Point that either started or continued on the Impact that is set to air this Thursday (Nov. 17, SPOILERS HERE). Bobby Roode, AJ Styles, Christopher Daniels, Rob Van Dam are all in action as well as Mexican American taking on the team of Matt Morgan and Crimson. Plus many, many more hit the ring in this special Turkey Day edition and it even includes something that takes me back to the Attitude Era.
Six-woman lingerie tag match anyone?
Full results -- courtesy of The Site That Shall Not Be Named -- are after the jump so get with it!
In the opening match, newly crowned tag team champs Matt Morgan and Crimson retained their titles by defeating Mexican America who were cashing in their rematch clause. Crimson picked up the pinfall over Anarquia.
The awful, terrible Karen Jarrett makes her way to the ring and does her awful, terrible thing and sets up the aforementioned lingerie match between former Knockouts champion Velvet Sky, Brooke Tessmacher, and Tara taking on Madison Rayne, Winter, and Angelina Love.
Then her ex-husband hit the ring and proceeded to run down James Storm until the self-proclaimed redneck came out to confront him. Storm tried to squab -- haven't used that term in a while -- but Angle said there are other guys in the back that want to fight him. Out come Jeff Jarrett, Bully Ray, and Christopher Daniels -- who I guess is a member of Immortal now? -- to tell Storm that all Angle wanted was for Storm to go home and tell his daughter that it was "The Olympic Hero" who gave him a concussion.
Storm said that he did tell her and she wanted to respond. Storm smacked Angle but Immortal beats the former Beer Money member down. AJ Styles, Ken Anderson -- ugh -- and Rob Van Dam run out to make the save and security had to separate the brawl. The "ugh" is meant for Anderson, not RVD. But hey, RVD too, why not? That dude has been stinking up for the joint for the most part since he arrived in Orlando. Anyway, while Storm was making his way up the ramp, Bobby Roode came out. Storm hit the rulebreaker and laid him out.
Velvet Sky, Tessmacher and Tara beat Madison Rayne, Winter, and Angelina Love in the lingerie match. Obviously, Vince Russo doesn't think -- or has ever thought -- much about women's pro wrestling. They all pose and strut their nearly-naked stuff before the match starts. I won't lie, I'll watch just to see Velvet Sky. She is quite the buxom lass. She picked up the pinfall over Rayne after Mickie James came out and prevented some nefarious dealings on Rayne's end.
Backstage, Robbie E and his big buddy Robbie T are hanging out with Rudy Charles who is holding a turkey suit. The TV champ says that Eric Young will never get another shot at the title and it eventually led to a non-title match between the two where the loser would have to wear the turkey suit.
Jeff Hardy's music hits but yeah right, it's Jeff Jarrett wearing a mask and a hoodie. That sounds familiar. He makes fun of Hardy and his fans until everyone's favorite (alleged) drug trafficking wrestler comes out to attack him. Hardy beats up on Jarrett until Bully Ray and Daniels come out to give Jarrett the upper hand. Then Styles, Anderson and RVD come out to save Hardy. That ALSO sounds familiar.
Oh, right. It happened like 30 minutes ago.
Eric Young got the win -- but not the title -- over Robbie E. The kid from Jersey ended up getting the pinfall at first but Rudy Charles found out it was because a weapon was used and restarted the match. Young would end up nailing the champ with a piledriver to pick up the win but since it appeared his opponent was out cold, someone else would have to wear the turkey suit. Robbie T was chosen as the victim and he ended up chasing Young to the back.
And in the main event -- the fourth match is a two hour show ... well, third if you don't count the lingerie match and I don't -- Styles, Hardy, Anderson, and RVD beat the team of Roode, Jarrett, Daniel and Bully Ray. James Storm was in the corner of the fan favorites -- is he legit injured or is TNA seriously not booking him in matches? -- and Angle in the corner for the rulebreakers in this elimination-style tag match.
ONCE AGAIN, THIS ALL SEEMS SO FAMILIAR.
Hardy wasn't able to make his way to ring at first because of the previous attack so Roode graciously didn't compete and did commentary as to not give his team an unfair advantage. Anderson was thankfully eliminated first and then RVD. So Styles is all by his lonesome until, bam out comes Hardy. "The Charismatic Enigma" eliminates Daniels and Jarrett while Storm and Angle end up brawling to the back.
Styles end up winning the match for his team by pinning Bully Ray but Roode came in and laid out both him and Hardy after the match. The show ends with the champ yelling in Styles' face, probably telling him he sucks and stuff like that.
Aside from the WWE copping and the further degradation of women's wrestling, sounds like a decent show. At least it will seem to be when you're on your couch and don't want to move after Thanksgiving dinner. Then you'll slip into a delicious food coma and dream about how 2005-2006 era TNA never ended.
Ah, to dream...