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WWE Raw is Seriously Depleted, April 19th 2010

WWE Monday Night Raw results and reactions from tonight's Raw taping from the Izod Center in East Rutherford, NJ after the jump.

  1. WWE Intercontinental Champion Drew McIntyre defeated Matt Hardy after McIntyre yanked Hardy off of the second rope.
  2. The Undertaker defeated World heavyweight champion Jack Swagger after the Tombstone Piledriver.
  3. MacGruber and Kaluber (The Great Khali) defeated Vladimir Kozlov in a handicap match after Kaluber and Kozlov were both counted out.
  4. Triple H, Rey Mysterio, and Edge defeated CM Punk, Luke Gallows, and Chris Jericho after Triple H pinned Punk after the Pedigree.
  • Triple H opened the show, being the only main event Raw wrestler who wasn't trapped in Europe.  He explained the situation with the Raw wrestlers being stuck in Europe.  He cut a promo on Sheamus hyping his Street Fight for this Sunday at Extreme Rules, before he was interrupted by CM Punk's music.  Michael Cole explained that he had heard rumors of Smackdown wrestlers taking over Raw this week and seizing the open Monday with all of the Raw superstars stuck in Europe.  Indeed, Punk said that the Smackdown crew had the "intestinal fortitude" to travel through volcanic ash to make it to the US.  Triple H and Punk had some banter back and forth, setting up a match.  During a Triple H monologue, he pointed Lillian Garcia out at the timekeeper's table, making her return to Raw for the night with Justin Roberts in Europe, and made mention of her "horsing" around, to which Cole made some horse noises, so I guess that's some sort of inside joke to embarrass her.  Eventually, the Straight Edge Society attacked Triple H, and was about to shave his head before Rey Mysterio ran out for the save.  They were about to shave Punk's head, and even clipped off some, but Punk was able to escape before being shaved bald.  They somehow got 20 minutes out of all of this.
  • The McIntyre/Hardy match was OK.  The finish came pretty suddenly.  It filled time for the show, I guess.
  • John Cena did an interview via satellite and explained the situation.  He then cut a promo on Batista for Monday.  His typical man of the people, "I am the champion" promo.
  • Vladimir Kozlov cut a promo about his words last week for MacGruber, about how he has been treated unfairly by the guest hosts.  He got some cheap heat on New Jersey, including a line about his fellow Russian purchasing the team and moving them to Brooklyn.  Well, he didn't actually cut the promo, he had Jerry Lawler read it off of a card.  He ended it by asking for better competition.  This brought out Will Forte and Kristen Wiig in character as MacGruber and Vicki St. Elmo, waving an American flag.  Vicki St. Elmo announced this week's main event, which was CM Punk, Luke Gallows, and Chris Jericho vs. Triple H, Rey Mysterio, and Edge.  MacGruber then cut a promo defending New Jersey, citing famous New Jerseyites as Jon Bon Jovi, Paul Blart Mall Cop, Snooki AND The Situation, and Cageside Seats TV reviewer Chris Wilcox.  He then announced that Kozlov would face R-Truth in the main event, and as R-Truth came out and rapped on stage, MacGruber mentioned that he rigged this whole place with explosives, so if Kozlov tried to run....and then pyro went off on stage and blew up poor R-Truth.  RIP Ron Killings, January 19, 1972 - April 19, 2010.  That set up MacGruber vs. Kozlov for later on.  This was about 25 times more awesome than it sounds, and Will Forte should host Raw every week.
  • After a commercial break, they did some more hijinx backstage with MacGruber and Triple H centered around MacGruber peeing in his pants.  MacGruber claimed that they were Kane's pants and MacGruber was volunteering to wear Kane's pants for him.  He then ran away.
  • Randy Orton cut a promo on Jack Swagger for this Sunday's World title match.  Typical Orton stuff.  Swagger countered with an in-ring promo at the top of the hour where he issued an open challenge for anybody to face him.  Nobody came out, and Swagger was about to leave before the bell donged and out came The Undertaker.  They had a good, long PPV caliber match.  It was especially impressive considering the Undertaker isn't in the best of shape and probably wasn't expecting to be working this soon and yet he went 15 minutes with Swagger.  I'm sure some will say that Swagger looked bad by losing, but he gave a good effort and clearly showed he could hang with Undertaker, plus Undertaker "needed" to use the Tombstone, which is kind of set up as Undertaker's finisher for top guys, so even doing the job to the Tombstone establishes Swagger as a top guy.
  • After airing a MacGruber trailer that featured most of the WWE stars that will be in the movie (including The Big Show, Great Khali, Chris Jericho, Kane, MVP, and Mark Henry), they aired a backstage segment with Jericho and Punk arguing over who would be the boss for their six man tag team match later (shades of the Wrestlemania X ten man tag team match that was canceled).  This was followed by Jericho running into MacGruber backstage, who talked of having his own spinoff movie called "Jericho" (complete with his own MacGruber-inspired theme music).  Jericho offered MacGruber some advice for his match - extend his hand for a handshake towards Kozlov.
  • MacGruber took his advice, but it didn't work, and Kozlov instead gave MacGruber a few headbutts and was about to hit his spinebuster finish before he was interrupted by Ryan Phillippe.  Phillippe mentioned that he had gone to the WWE offices and had the match changed - Kozlov would now be facing MacGruber and MacGruber's half brother Kaluber (or the Great Khali).  Kozlov and Great Khali did some not-great stuff before brawling to the outside and both men were counted out.  Inexplicably, MacGruber and Kaluber were declared the winners, after which MacGruber cut a promo declaring America the best country in the world and telling people to see Shrek 4 on May 21st (and also MacGruber).  Another bomb then went off, but it's unknown if that's the end of the Great Khali like it was the end of R-Truth.
  • The main event six man was good stuff, which was to be expected as all six guys are decent to some degree.  Punk ate the 619 into the Pedigree for the finish, so by WWE booking, I guess Punk and Sheamus are the favorites going into their matches at the PPV.

Overall, Raw was a good show all things considered, especially since I'm guessing a great deal of the show had to be rewritten.  Of the four matches, the two main events went pretty long, 15 minutes each, and the other two were mostly filler.  The first MacGruber segment was awesome, the second significantly less so, but overall, I'd have to say that MacGruber is the best guest to ever appear on a wrestling show while appearing in his TV/movie gimmick since Robert Wuhl graced the set of Nitro as Arli$$ in 1999.

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