To everyone's great surprise, Summerslam is this Sunday. Historically, this is the WWE's second-biggest show of the year, and usually the one that focuses most on having good in-ring action. Neither of those things seem to be the case this year. We've got a full preview of the announced matches so far. Whatever you do, don't go to the "official" Summerslam page via WWE.com because it's a fucking nightmare of Aerosmith and poorly-conceived Flash.
Jack Swagger vs. MVP
This feud started off really promisingly, as "The All-American American" Jack Swagger took MVP to task during MVP's "VIP Room" segment for being a criminal and a thug. The smarmy, arrogant snobbish heel vs. reformed baddie angle is normally paint-by-numbers and this (assumed) blowoff match should be great, but these two have been trading clean pinfalls back and forth for several weeks on RAW and they both look like goofs right now, so likely no one cares. I don't care even a little, and I actually LIKE both of these guys.
The Great Khali vs. Kane
Vince McMahon absolutely loves having two tall and/or fat guys try to wrestle each other, and the results are never good. Kane kidnapped The Great Khali's brother last week, so I guess he's the bad guy here. By contrast, Khali comes out to dance music now, so that makes him the good guy. This is just going to be actively bad, but hopefully short.
Unified Tag Team Championship: Chris Jericho & The Big Show vs. Cryme Tyme
WWE has been attempting to build Cryme Tyme as a main event tag team, so look for them to lose decisively in the second or third match.
ECW Championship: Christian vs. William Regal
Both of these guys are really great wrestlers, so this should easily be one of the best matches on the card. Odds are slim that Regal wins the title here.
Intercontinental Championship: Rey Mysterio vs. Dolph Ziggler
This is a rematch from the last PPV and they have kept Ziggler strong since then. If they pull the trigger on Ziggler, they need to do it here or not at all.
D-Generation X vs. Legacy
WWE has built this match for about a week. If they'd spent more time on this, it could have potentially been big. This could swing either way wildly. This will be Shawn Michaels' first time in the ring since (I believe) Wrestlemania.
World Heavyweight Championship Tables, Ladders and Chairs Match: Jeff Hardy vs. CM Punk
If this match is anything less than great or anything other than match of the night, I will not only be shocked, but it will probably mean that we've seen an outstanding pay-per-view. CM Punk will probably let it all hang out here and this should be the defining match of his career to date.
WWE Championship: Randy Orton vs. John Cena
This is the match that WWE is pushing at the main event, and for their sake, I hope they don't have to follow the TLC match or they have something great up their sleeves. On the other hand, if the TLC match goes first, that probably means Punk is winning the title, so I'm cool with that.