Less than three weeks before its first post-WrestleMania pay-per-view, Backlash, SmackDown Live reran London’s O2 Arena last night (May 9, 2017). For full results and the live blog from the exceptional Reverend Kain, click here.
By the book
WWE Champion Randy Orton opened the show and noted that he didn’t lose the House of Horrors match at Payback because of Bray Wyatt, or even “that damn refrigerator,” but because of Jinder Mahal and The Singh Boys. Shock of shocks, said trio quickly appeared and the number one contender displayed the photo shoot he took when he had absconded with the championship. Mahal proceeded to cut his now usual promo, and was about to speak in Punjabi—horror of horrors!—before he was cut off by the United States Champion and New Face of America, Kevin Owens.
One quick note: it’s impressive that they made Mahal’s “basic angry brown guy” schtick simultaneously more tone-deaf and more out of the loop by having him do it in the United Kingdom, the former imperial power of The Raj and now a country in which Chicken Tikki Masala is popularly accepted as a national dish.
Thankfully, Owens cut Mahal off before he could start speaking Punjabi, told Orton that no one cares about the House of Horrors match, told Jinder no one cares about India, told the crowd that no one cares about England, neither—and that the only thing that mattered was him because he had eviscerated Chris Jericho the week prior. The Prizefighter announced his intention to chase down Orton’s WWE championship after Owens was finished with AJ Styles, and that he would become the new face of WWE. Then he spoke in French, “just because I can,” and got out a few sentences before Styles’ music hit.
Seems like it would have been a good bit to have Styles interrupt him—as Owens had interrupted Mahal—before they actually went to the “foreign heel speaks foreign language for ultra-cheap heat” gimmick.
Styles walked to the ring and chastised Owens for claiming to be the face of anything on SmackDown Live, “The House That AJ Styles Built.” He told Owens he would never be the face of SmackDown Live—Styles’ face turn has been utterly simple and utterly masterful—before Baron Corbin interrupted. Corbin only managed a few words before he was attacked from behind by Sami Zayn—who Corbin had viciously assaulted on Talking Smack two weeks prior, and a brawl broke out.
Unsurprisingly, a six-man tag team match was made for the main event of the evening. But before we got to the match, the blue brand offered us another great rendition of “Sami Zayn is a goofball.”
Frankly, Zayn being wildly neurotic in backstage segments is one of the greatest things today in sports entertainment. It is wholly unique, makes his character feel very real, and is simply entertaining. It’s a fun quirk and utterly charming. Sami Zayn is ... zany.
Poor @iLikeSamiZayn. pic.twitter.com/krRQBYKs1E
— TDE Wrestling (@totaldivaseps) May 10, 2017
The main event was fine enough but didn’t particularly stand out as an excellent TV match. That’s not a knock by any means, it was good, but felt basically like a house show main event... except for the result, which saw Mahal pin Orton following a distraction from The Singh Brothers.
It’s the classic “make the heel look like they have a chance” bit before an upcoming title opportunity, but still. Jinder Mahal pinned Randy Orton in 2017. What a time to be alive.
This championship feud has been a drag on much of the show—and the collapse in ratings seem to reflect that. Lumping the US title program in with the WWE title feud took valuable time in which Owens and Styles could have been directly engaging each other on the microphone. Thus both feuds have been largely lackluster, with Owens and Styles not really getting their appropriate due, and Orton and Mahal being ... well, Orton and Mahal.
On the case
The second episode of “The Fashion Files” ran last night, this time with a “Special London Unit” edition. Deputy Dango and the Gorgeous Gumshoe happened upon spilled red paint on the ground—lead paint, no less—which they deduced was left by The Ugos (it wasn’t). Hearing a ruckus from an adjoining room, Fandango attempted to enter the door access code without success, then Tyler Breeze attempted to kick the door down—again without success, and finally ... Breeze simply opened the door.
Great stuff, that.
Inside were The Ascension, who were screaming in guttural rage at nothing in particular. Konnor had a chain. It was strange, and having the Fashion Police play the bit as the straight man—slowly backing away and closing the door—was bloody well inspired.
The two teams would have a match later in the evening, which the number one contenders for The Ugos tag team championships won in short order. After the match, the champions made an appearance, cutting a promo about how in “12 days” they were going to defeat Breeezango at Backlash. This was also quite good, and hopefully these two teams will get some good time to banter on next week’s go home show.
Wait ... isn’t SmackDown’s tag team division supposed to be dead? Huh.
Several times bitten ... yet never shy?
Natalya defeated Becky Lynch after a cluster of distractions—unsurprisingly, given the entire division was ringside for their bout.
The segment started with Carmella, Tamina, and James Ellsworth of the “Welcoming Committee” giving their ostensible leader, Natalya ... well, a welcoming committee. This worked because they’re a bunch of goons—and Ellsworth lampooning the British crowd for having bad teeth was a delightful touch.
Then SmackDown Women’s Champion Naomi entered ... so she could introduce Becky Lynch. This was an odd order of things (why not just have Becky come out for her match and then Naomi appear as righteous backup?) and felt contrived just so they could set up, well ...
Charlotte Flair made her presence felt by announcing that “Nobody is going to give me an introduction, because I don’t need an introduction.”
Uh ... what? (It reminds one of a line from an old NXT hype video, from either R Evolution or Rival, in which Charlotte says, “I like defending my title because I’m a fighting champion.” ... Clearly I have way too much memory space committed to this.)
Anyway, Becky was well on top when Tamina climbed onto the apron with Lynch perched on the top rope, ready to strike Natalya. Naomi rushed over to pull her former Team BAD stablemate down—hey, you think they’d mention that they were in a stable for like 8 months, right?—but then something interested happened.
Instead of backing up Naomi in the scram, Charlotte instead grabbed the champion from behind and pulled her away. It was clearly not necessary and absolutely raises an eyebrow as to Flair’s true intentions.
Amid the hullabaloo, Natalya pulled Lynch off the top rope hard onto the mat, and pinned her for the victory. As the Welcoming Committee celebrated on the entryway, Becky stood by while Naomi and Charlotte argued. This would continue backstage before Becky finally stepped between her two ostensible partners, noting that they were facing an alliance against them, and they had to bond together against the common foe. Lynch then proposed a six-woman tag match for Backlash, which her “partners” reluctantly accepted. Becky then made the trio put their hands together in a move that triggered memories of the old “PCB” of Divas Revolution days.
Open your eyes, Bex. This ain’t gonna turn out well for you.
Sad!
(But really, come on now, Becky is clearly the one turning! She’s the one that proposed the match! It all makes sense! Don’t trust her!)
Stalling tactics
Dolph Ziggler ran down Shinsuke Nakamura’s credentials and scoffed that the fans were chanting for someone who had yet to even have one match on SmackDown Live.
The crowd, well aware of Nakamura’s exploits in developmental, began to chant, “NXT! NXT! NXT!” Ziggler was unperturbed and deadpanned, “This is going to be edited out anyway.”
/ RON HOWARD VOICE: IT WASN’T.
Oh Dolph, no. Oh no. Though it did in hindsight turn out to be a quite entertaining moment.
Ziggler continued, mocking the idea that Nakamura “calls himself an Artist,” which frankly he has never done and is not a thing and should probably be dropped post-haste. No one thinks “The Artist Known As Shinsuke Nakamura” is smart or clever. It’s such unnecessary branding and makes Nakamura’s presentation feel cheesy.
“The Rising Sun” soon hit and Nakamura was tired of Ziggler’s tough talk, and challenged him to a fight right then and there, even asking for a referee. Ziggler acted as if he was game, then quickly backed down—before attacking his new rival. Unfortunately for Ziggler, it backfired in short order and he was hit with a series of forearms and knee strikes before escaping the ring.
There was something good to take away from this segment, though—Ziggler’s bumping for Nakamura’s strikes already looks to be a ball, and The King of Strong Style—hey, look, his actual nickname—yet again managed to come off as a rock star (indeed, Byron Saxton called him this) just on entrance and presence alone.
All the rest
Mojo Rawley had one of the more bizarre segments in recent memory when he was shown giving inspirational stories about Andre the Giant to a number of kids backstage. It felt like a very bad After School Special. Rawley usually comes across as extremely authentic, but this was simply too hammy.
Just as a reminder, Mojo beat Jinder Mahal clean the week before Mahal became the number one contender for the WWE Championship. So ... shrug?
New Day got a very good vignette in the style of a video game, with all the tag teams on the SmackDown roster being labeled as booty. They are going to be a lot of fun to have on this show—it feels like a lot of folks have forgotten just how damn good an act they are and have been for two full years now.
Rusev’s social media message for Commissioner Shane McMahon was replayed on the show—and “Rusev the Ruler” has vowed to appear next week on SmackDown Live to make his demands in person.
Erick Rowan defeated Luke Harper after an eye poke and a swinging World’s Strongest Slam (thanks Rev!). This was a match.
Lana also had another dancing video.
If you missed this show, you really didn’t miss all that much. Watch The Fashion Files, watch Sami continue his classic Woody Allen impression, and watch The New Day Vignette. Otherwise, you’re good.
It’ll be nice to get back to live WWE programming next week. Say what you want about Raw and SmackDown, but when live they always retain the thrill of the spectacle. The same simply isn’t true for these taped overseas shows.
To steal Ziggler’s quote, these past two nights might as well be immediately edited out from canon.
Grade: 40