WWE Monday Night Raw comes waltzing back into our lives tonight (April 4, 2016) from the American Airlines Center in Dallas, Texas, featuring the fallout show from the WrestleMania 32 pay-per-view (PPV) extravaganza that took place just last night in Arlington, Texas.
Advertised for tonight: All the fallout from the biggest show of the year! A tag team title match, a tables match, possible returns, debuts, surprises, and more!
Come right back here at 8 p.m. ET when the Raw live blog kicks off once the show starts on USA. It will be below this line here. (REMINDER: NO GIFS OR PICS ARE ALLOWED IN THE COMMENTS SECTION. OFFENDERS WILL BE BANNED.)
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WWE RAW RESULTS AND LIVE BLOG FOR APRIL 4
Swift here. Let us do this.
So, this is a show that's happening tonight. Hopefully we can avoid last year's Smarkmania disaster.
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McMahons
We open with a recap package of last night's Wrestlemania. All I can think about as Flo Rida's "My House" plays is that Bo Dallas eviscerated that guy in a rap battle on Raw.
- Commentary immediately addressing the likely crowd response tonight.
- Vince comes out and the Marks celebrate.
- First mention of Roman draws a massive boo. At least they haven't turned down the crowd mics.
- Shane O'Mac comes out, thanks the crowd, and says good bye.
- Vince is mad that Shane was walking off.
- Another "Better than Roman" chant starts.
- Vince says it's a "crazy crowd."
- Vince just put Shane in charge for reasons. I can't even.
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It's A New Day, Yes It Is!
There are so many dicks on heads in the crowd.
- JBL calls Byron "a booty."
- "HEYYYY, WE WANT SOME NEW DAY."
- Xavier Woods admits that the Stunner was his fault.
- "BUT IT WAS LIT, BABY!"
- Xavier is singing Circle of Life but using "BOOTY Os" for the title line.
- "YOUR WWE WORLD TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS" exclaims THE ENTIRE CROWD.
New Day (Big E and Kofi Kingston) vs. League of Nations (Sheamus and King Barrett) for WWE Tag Team Championship
- Commentary mics are turned WAY up. Makes hearing the crowd difficult.
- "We Want Booty" chants the crowd.
- Friend of the Liveblog Chris Dawson says one of the indecipherable chants was "TRAVEL PACKAGE." So there's that.
- The crowd is already doing the wave. It's not even 30 minutes into the show.
- This match is a thing that's happening. Big E taking control with suplexes on Barrett, and then gyrates over his body before delivering the BIG SPLASH.
- New Day hit their finisher, and retain the titles.
New Day defeat League of Nations (retain Tag Team Championships)
Sheamus on the mic. Angry at the crowd. Says they should be destroying everyone. Keep in mind they lose a lot. Claims there is something wrong.
"HOW YOU DOIN" asks the crowd.
League of Nations is gonna Red Wedding King Barrett here. Brogue Kick, and he's down.
"HEY HEY HEY, GOOD BYE."
The Wyatts show up and murder League of Nations. Is this a face turn?
"THANK YOU WYATTS. THANK YOU WYATTS."
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This could be worse so far.
Renee Young catches up with Vince backstage. Vince claims Shane running the show is going to be a disaster, and gets in his limo. His driver's name is Pedro, apparently.
SUMMER RAE HAS A MIC. ALERT. SUMMER RAE HAS A MIC
I hear a Bayley song in the background.
SKYS THE LIMIT HITS BABY LET'S ROLL
Sasha Banks vs. Summer Rae
Sasha takes the mic from Summer.
- "I'm Sasha Banks, and I'm STILL THE BOSS." AND SLAP.
- "Sasha's gonna kill you!"
- "Better than Roman." I think that's the crowd's official chant tonight.
- Sasha locks in the Bank Statement, and Summer taps.
Sasha Banks defeats Summer Rae via submission
Nice little squash.
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Apollo Crews is making his Raw debut. Finn Balor is still in NXT.
Why wouldn't they give Apollo a surprise pop, at least? Come on Shane—who's seen talking to Crews backstage before commercial.
The crowd boos every image of Roman.
Apollo Crews vs. Tyler Breeze
Crews gets a decent pop, to be fair.
- Rematch from NXT: TakeOver Respect.
- Crews' theme does sound pretty good on the big stage.
- "TYLER'S GORGEOUS"
- Are we gonna see two squashes in a row?
- Crews hits the Gorilla Press, Standing Moonsault, and a spinout powerbomb for the quick win.
- MAKE APOLLO LOOK STRONG
Apollo Crews defeats Tyler Breeze via pinfall
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Recap of the Men's and Women's Champions appearance on The Today Show.
Roman Reigns is apparently up next. This should be interesting.
Roman Reigns Gets Booed
They're actually giving this dude promo time in front of this crowd.
- OK, these boos are LOUD.
- Roman just offered an open challenge.
- It's Lame Dad Chris Jericho. He beat AJ Styles last night because this company is stupid.
- Jericho calls the entire crowd idiots; they cheer.
- Jericho says "YOU'RE NOT HIJACKING THE SHOW ON MY WATCH." Roman also shakes his head.
- JERICHO SAYS HE BURIED AJ STYLES
- Styles' music hits to a big pop.
- THAT POP FOR KEVIN OWENS MY GOD THIS GUY IS DRAGGING HIMSELF DOWN HERE BECAUSE HE WANTS A PRIZE FIGHT OWENS FIGHT BABY
- NOW IT'S SAMI ZAYN WHAT IS GOING ON FOLKS I'M MARKING OUT BECAUSE I'M A MARK
- WHOA OH OH OHHHHHHHHHHH WHOA OH OH OHHHHHHHH
- Zayn-Owens, and Styles-Jericho square off. I'm feeling a Fatal Four Way tonight folks.
- Boy, if Jericho goes over Zayn, Owens, and Styles ...
Just gonna go ahead and note that this has been a very NXT like show, with squashes and short promo time.
Shane McMahon announces #1 contender match between Kevin Owens, Sami Zayn, AJ Styles, and LameDad Jericho
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Baron Corbin makes his Raw debut versus Dolph Ziggler
Pretty big pop for Corbin, who, remember, is a heel.
Pretty happy for this guy, though. Big improvement over the last year.
BIG BANTER IS IN THE HOUSE BABY
Dolph Ziggler shows up. This would be a good first win!
- Corbin takes control with a big shoulderblock.
- Corbin's pre-match promo was classic stuff: "For those who don't know who I am ... I don't care." Got his character over in 15 seconds. This has not been a typical Raw.
- Why is Corbin selling for Dolph? This is dumb.
- WHY IS DOLPH ZIGGLER GETTING OFFENSE IN. GUESS SOME DUMB THINGS NEVER CHANGE
- Ziggler kicks out of Deep Six. This match has already gone too long.
- DOUBLE COUNT OUT. WHY ARE THEY PROTECTING DOLPH ZIGGLER. THIS IS ATROCIOUSLY DUMB.
- Baron Corbin is wrecking Ziggler on the outside, to be clear.
- Corbin hits End of Days on the outside to leave Dolph dead.
- Why is this company trying to protect Dolph Ziggler with a double countout in 2016? He doesn't matter. Corbin can be a top heel. This was absolutely stupid booking.
Baron Corbin and Dolph Ziggler — Double count-out
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Zach Ryder's About to Lose His Intercontinental Championship ...
Ryder gets a "You Deserve It / Woo Woo Woo" chant.
The Miz interrupts ... with a new manager, maybe?
- The Miz is the best heel on the roster.
- The Miz is about to win the Intercontinental Championship.
- This is a thing that's happening.
- This show has completely stalled.
- This could be Samoa Joe right now, starting a dominant heel run with the Intercontinental Championship.
- The Miz is about to fight Zach Ryder's dad, who hits him, and it's somehow not a disqualification.
- MARYSE IS HERE
- THE MIZ WINS THE INTERCONTINENTAL CHAMPIONSHIP OFF THE DISTRACTION
The Miz defeats Zach Ryder via pinfall (New Intercontinental Champion)
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Kevin Owens talking to Renee Young about tonight's main event. Owens says he's going to destroy the Roman Empire and the crowd goes WILD.
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAH THE VAUDVILLIANS GET A VIGNETTE
Presentation of WWE Women's World Championship to Charlotte
I'm about to learn if I need to say up all night writing.
- The entire Women's Division is in the ring. Lita is about to present the belt to Charlotte. Becky has a wicked shiner.
- Should be noted that Sasha and Becky are PISSED.
- Some wicked side-eye from Sasha and Becky.
- "HEY, WE WANT SOME BAYLEY"
- Michael Cole says she's not here.
- "OOOOOOOH, I WANNA KNOW IF YOU'LL BE MY GIRL. HEYYYYY HEY BAYLEY, OOOH AH. I WANNA KNOW IF YOU'LL BE MY GIRL."
- Charlotte's dying a death out here.
- "WOMEN'S WRESTLING"
- Charlotte can't tell if she's a heel or a face, and she is struggling.
- Is Becky Lynch gonna have to cut a *****?
- "SASHA SASHA SASHA SASHA SASHA SASHA"
- Charlotte woos like an insane person. This is a disaster.
- The entire division walks off because they realize Charlotte is cutting a terrible promo.
- Natty gets a mic.
- Natty challenges Charlotte to a title match.
- Charlotte says no, Natty puts her in the Sharpshooter, Ric saves Charlotte.
- Thank God, I don't have to stay up all night!
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AJ Styles now talking to Renee Young. The crowd may or may not want to partake in some.
Wait, what on earth are Sasha and Becky going to do now if Natty's the next challenger?
The Usos vs. The Dudley Boyz (Table Match)
Hey Geno I'm taking 10, k cool thanks.
Are ENZO AND CASS SERIOUSLY NOT GETTING CALLED UP?
First Hour: A-. Since: D+. SOME CHANGE, SHANE!
NAKAMURA! NAKAMURA! NAKAMURA!
GABLE GABLE! GABLE GABLE GABLE GABLE GABLE JORDAN! JORDAN JORDAN! JORDAN JORDAN JORDAN!
OH ENZO AMORE, OH ENZO AMORE
Dudley Boyz defeat The Usos because The Usos are dumb dumbs and jumped through tables on their own
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Sami Zayn now talking to Renee Young.
KEVIN OWENS IS OUT HERE MURDERING SAMI ZAYN MY GOD HE JUST POWERBOMBED THAT MAN THROUGH A TABLE
We've got a triple threat ... wait. ARE WE GOING TO GET A REPLACEMENT FACE IN THIS MATCH?
QUAD CITIES REPRESENT BABY
The Dudleyz are still out here for some reason.
HOW YOU DOIN HOW YOU DOIN HOW YOU DOIN HOW YOU DOIN HOW YOU DOIN HOW YOU DOIN HOW YOU DOIN
OH, ENZO AMORE! OH, ENZO AMORE! OH, ENZO AMORE!
Enzo Amore and Big Cass (FINALLY) make their main roster debut, ether The Dudley Boyz
I may have marked out there a little bit.
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Place your bets people: Seth Rollins? Cesaro? John Cena?
WHO'S THE FOURTH MAN?
OH MY GOD IT'S CESARO
THIS MAN IS NUCLEAR OVER FOLKS PUT THE BELT ON THIS MAN LET'S ROLL BABY
Cesaro vs. Kevin Owens vs. AJ Styles vs. LameDad Jericho (Fatal Four Way for the Men's #1 Contendership
This should be a lot of fun.
- Things are happening fast. It's a typical really fun Fatal Four Way main event match on Raw, with actual stakes.
- This is going to be so pointless when LameDad Jericho wins.
- "STAY DOWN YOU STUPID HAIRCUT"
- Cesaro uppercuts everyone. Crowd goes bananas. Imagine thinking this dude doesn't have it.
- SHARPSHOOTER FOR TYSON KIDD
- TAP LAME DAD TAP YOU LAME DAD
- I BOUGHT THAT FALSE FINISH SO BAD
- OH MY GOD AJ STYLES HITS JERICHO WITH THE STYLES CLASH AND FOR ONCE JERICHO STAYS DOWN AND WE HAVE A NEW NUMBER ONE CONTENDER
AJ STYLES DEFEATS CHRIS JERICHO (CESARO, KEVIN OWENS) BY PINFALL FOLLOWING THE STYLES CLASH
Ahem. We have a new number one contender, folks. He has farmer strength, and people do not wish to acquire any of his. His name: AJ Styles.
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Swift signing off for the night, but stay tuned to Cageside Seats for reaction and highlights from tonight's Monday Night Raw. Good night folks!