WWE returned to the USA network for Monday Night Raw last night (Nov. 30, 2015) from Pittsburgh, Pennslyvania with all the latest build to the upcoming TLC pay-per-view (PPV) on Dec. 13 in Boston. The show is on an unprecedented run of ineptitude in nearly every way.
Click here to get full results with the live blog. Let's get to reacting to all the night's events.
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5:15
This is "May 19" more than it is "Austin 3:16" but WWE did its damnedest to get a new gimmick over for Sheamus. It's possible our numbers guy is off, because human error and all that, but Cain A. Knight had Roman Reigns' title reign at 5:14, not 5:15.
Whatever.
Either way, WWE decided to give Sheamus a point to drive home -- and a way to make some money on merchandise -- while taunting Reigns. They used The New Day, an actually over mid-card team, to help get this over, which makes no sense whatsoever considering they bailed on Sheamus at Survivor Series and had previously been buddy buddy with Seth Rollins.
Whatever.
It was also a set up to give Reigns something to overcome, because we know how much he likes doing that. All of this is fine, but where they really got it right was booking the title match early and stipulating that Reigns would have to win in 5:15 in order to capture the title.
But that's not all!
They ALSO stipulated that if he failed to win in 5:15, both Dean Ambrose and The Usos would no longer get their title shots at the Intercontinental and tag team championships respectively. This is good! These dudes who have fought beside Reigns and never really reaped any rewards for it -- and, in fact, Ambrose was beaten by him to lose the title at Survivor Series -- might get screwed over if Reigns can't get the job done. But if he can, everyone gets to laugh and grow fat.
STAKES. This is what it's all about, folks!
They really drove this home throughout the show, doing as much as possible to give this WWE title match meaning and purpose.
Then, the match happened.
There isn't much you can do in 5:15, but the psychology was on point. Reigns went for quick pinfalls while Sheamus worked holds to stall. They went to the outside, created some tension with a big spot while the clock was ticking down, then hit the ring again for the big rush to the finish.
And that's when Rusev showed up to drag Reigns out of the ring for the disqualification with like 40 seconds left on the clock.
That meant Reigns won within the alloted time frame but because it was via DQ he did not win the title, which went back to Sheamus. This also meant that Ambrose and The Usos would still get their title shots at TLC.
So they spent two hours of this show building to a match with stakes that would greatly alter the landscape of the entire promotion no matter the outcome and found the outcome that didn't alter a damn thing.
What a monumental waste of time. This is why it's not worth investing any energy in the product: Nothing ever happens that has any real effect on anything.
Even after the match, Sheamus officially formed his heel stable, The League of Nations, the same heel stable that Reigns already singlehandedly brought down with a chair. So they go into a main event and The New Day is randomly added to the match to make it a 7-on-4 handicap match, which is a really good way to make clear they had no plan on ever properly establishing this heel team. At least they got to stand tall at the end but by then I, and surely I wasn't alone here, was just dying for this 5 hour and 15 minute show to end.
That's not how long the show is? Sure feels that way.
Speaking of that main event, the booking made absolutely no sense. They took Jimmy Uso out with a knee injury early on to make it 7-on-3, then built to a Roman Reigns hot tag, and remember this is the guy they're supposed to be setting up to overcome, that was really a set up for the final hot tag to Dean Ambrose, who was the most over in the match because of it. That's the guy challenging for the Intercontinental title, mind you. As if that doesn't boggle your mind enough, they ultimately decided to pin Ambrose, who, again, is challenging for the Intercontinental title at the upcoming PPV against Kevin Owens, who wasn't even on this show, when Jey Uso was still in the match.
This company makes no sense.
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All the best to all the rest
Dolph Ziggler vs. Tyler Breeze: There was no story here. It was just moves, near falls, finish. Ziggler won, by the way, because they just have to do the 50/50 booking that ensures no one ever gets over.
Miz TV with Rusev and Lana: Yes, Lana returned, but it was just so they could have her and her man say they "didn't go all the way" with the two people they dated after they broke up with each other, which is both stupid and immature. They did bother to explain the two getting back together, which was nice. Then here comes Ryback to interrupt the happy couple being happy to say "she totally went all the way with Ziggler," which I guess is supposed to be a bad thing? We're supposed to cheer this? Even if that's the case, what's the issue? She had sex with her boyfriend, my god, the humanity. Then, as they're going to commercial just after announcing the match, Lana can barely be heard and hardly seen in the corner saying "Rusev ... CRUSH." They wasted that moment on this. Beyond stupid. What's more, the ensuing match went all of minute and ended when Rusev decided it was more important to tend to his girlfriend than it was try to fight with Big Idiot. I guess I was supposed to boo this too, but that's a heroic act. This company makes no sense.
ECW: So the Dudley Boyz went full Reigns & Ambrose by deciding the best course of action to battle The Wyatt Family is to bring in a tired old man, except they're even dumber because Tommy Dreamer is a million times more beat up than Chris Jericho. You could argue he's EXTREME and that's just what they need but this is a man who has openly admitted to suffering dozens and dozes of concussions throughout his career. A stiff breeze concusses this guy at this point, and he's your big ace in the hole to deal with BigAss McTableSmash? Then again, Bray is so dumb he was taken off guard by BUBBA RAY DUDLEY'S quickness and speed. Amazing.
MexAmerica: Alberto Del Rio beat up Goldust and was chased off by Jack Swagger. No one cared about a second of it.
Lucha Dragons vs. The Usos: The New Day were wildly entertaining on commentary but the match was hardly worth paying attention to and ended with a DQ when New Day ran in to ensure they didn't have to face either team at TLC. So what happened? They were BOTH given title shots. This company makes no sense.
Sasha Banks vs. Brie Bella: Character alignments matter, folks, and this is exhibit A. Team Bella is a heel faction. Team BAD is also a heel faction. That they are fighting each other is difficult to care about because I'm supposed to hate them both. Team BAD, by the way, beat down on an overmatched Team Bella, who is without their top star in Nikki Bella.
Charlotte vs. Becky Lynch: Paige is playing mind games is the general theme they wanted to get over here, which is a problem because they had a real interesting thing going without adding that in. But, you know, we have to get to Charlotte vs. Paige for the 67th time. Ignoring that, Becky wanted a match, Charlotte gave it to her, then faked an injury and cheated her way to victory with an assist from her father, a man known as "The Dirtiest Player in the Game." Becky, upset, asked Charlotte about this and was told it was just strategy and a tough love lesson. This was AWESOME because Charlotte is a million times better as a heel and Becky is an outstanding babyface who was great as the hurt upset friend who reluctantly goes along because she values that friendship. They also did well in the match because the psychology was there with the two working like two friends who know each other well. But even this is overshadowed by the Paige MIND GAMES nonsense.
The Rosebush: Adam Rose is a dirt sheet now, apparently. It's really dumb.
This company makes no sense.
Grade: F
Your turn.