WWE SmackDown returns to SyFy this coming Friday night (Mar. 28, 2014) from Boston, Massachusetts, but the show was taped, as usual, on Tuesday night. That means full spoilers are readily available if you're the impatient type who doesn't want to wait a couple days for the payoff.
Unwrap that present early:
- Batista kicked off the show in full douche mode cutting a promo blasting the fans for booing him after they had been begging for him to come back. He went after everyone he's currently feuding with, including Stephanie McMahon. That brought out Triple H, who implored him to leave her out of all this. They went back and forth over their history, namely that Big Dave won every match between the two and "The Game" made "The Animal" before he got soft and left for Hollywood. Then he said they're all waiting for "The Animal" version of Batista to return but it's not happened yet. Sounds like seed planting for later. Anyway, Triple H booked Batista against Sheamus later.
- The Shield def. 3MB with Dean Ambrose and Seth Rollins again teaming to take on Jinder Mahal and Drew McIntyre. The match was short and nothing special because it was a simple transition to Kane and the New Age Outlaws coming out and revealing they have another match immediately.
- The Shield def. Rybaxel, winning that immediate second match. This one went longer and finished with Rollins getting a pin after Ambrose cleaned up in the opening act. Ryback got smashed post-match the same way he did on Raw while Kane and his cronies did nothing.
- Sin Cara def. Damien Sandow in another squash match. Quick and stupid.
- Fandango def. Goldust in a short match with a sloppy finish. Might be heavily edited by the time it makes TV, if it makes TV at all.
- Sheamus def. Batista via disqualification in a relatively short match that also may need editing to fix up. The finish was Batista just beating Sheamus up with chair shots. He cut another promo after but didn't say much outside of the usual talking points they've been hammering.
- Bray Wyatt promo. It's great, as usual.
- Bella twins def. AJ Lee and Tamina Snuka in a match that saw Tamina just about fully turn on the Divas champion. She tagged her into the ring into Brie's finish and pushed her down. So it looks like they're done after this. Here's to hoping WWE actually pays this off with something more than a brief blow off match. Because really then, why bother at all?
- Good news, everybody! Apparently Emma and Santino Marella are just "friends with benefits". I don't know if that means what it does to the rest of us or if there's some WWE definition for it. We know this through a skit they did in a restaurant with Emma saying they'll always be the best of friends and Santino not taking it well. More dumb comedy, but it appears WWE may soon be doing away with the Emma-Santino pairing and that is absolutely the right move.
- Jack Swagger def. Jimmy Uso with the Patriot Act in a decent enough TV match.
- Mark Henry def. Miz after a short match that saw "The World's Strongest Man" throw Miz around. It's a good thing, too, considering what Joe Celebrity did to Miz on Raw.
- Bray Wyatt def. Big Show in a four minute match in the main event. He went over clean with Sister Abigail. This makes a top heel strong but takes down the supposed favorite to win the Andre the Giant Memorial Battle Royal at WrestleMania.
Of note: Daniel Bryan misses another show. John Cena was there but not used during the TV taping, instead working the dark match. The Bryan decision makes sense, the Cena decision not so much. Maybe he's still shaken by the sheep mask in the mirror.
That's the show, Cagesiders. Your thoughts?