WWE Friday Night SmackDown comes waltzing back into our lives tonight (Aug. 9, 2013) from Rockford, Illinois, with a taped show on the SyFy channel featuring all the latest build to the SummerSlam pay-per-view (PPV) later on this month.
If you're the impatient type and wish to read full spoilers for the show you can find out exactly what goes down by clicking here.
Either way, come back here at 8 p.m. ET for the SmackDown live blog.
WWE SMACKDOWN RESULTS AND LIVE BLOG FOR AUG. 9
Broadcast is live.
We'll start with a match, wasting no time getting right into the goods.
Randy Orton vs. Rob Van Dam
The two work a really good back-and-forth match. Van Dam sold big for Orton, putting him over, while Orton did the same for Van Dam, putting him over and making him look good.
Really, it was designed like a battle between two heavyweights where something had to give and that ultimately ended up being RVD. Orton, in the end, is just too hot right now.
Miz TV time with special guests AJ Lee and Big E. Langston.
Miz asks what the relationship is between Lee and Langston. AJ acts all up in arms about it, saying Big E. is her best friend and he's an amazing guy.
Miz brings up her having a lot of "friends", men whose lives she tried to ruin. She has an excuse for each and every one of them before saying Miz doesn't get it, she's had her heart broken a lot.
Miz calls her a victim and says maybe she's the problem.
She ends up saying she'll sustain herself on the Diva's championship, the one she'll have until she's in the grave. She runs down Kaitlyn and Dolph Ziggler, which naturally brings out Dolph.
Ziggler goes in on AJ and she says men don't get over her. She's clearly distraught about his getting over her so quickly but it isn't long before Kaitlyn makes her way out.
I wonder what this is leading to.
She wonders why AJ is so obsessed with Ziggler and Kaitlyn. It doesn't take long for all four of the wrestlers in the ring to start a shouting match and that leads to The Miz, who apparently has the power to do as much because he's guest host, making a mixed tag match.
There's a short confrontation and the babyfaces both hit their finishers.
Alberto Del Rio shows up backstage to complain to Vickie Guerrero about the booking she's been doing lately.
She says he'll be having a match with Christian later in the night. Del Rio wonders what the ramifications could be if he were to suffer an injury during the match.
"That's a risk I'm willing to take," Vickie responds.
That seems a tad reckless to me.
Fandango vs. Kofi Kingston
Really a disjointed match featuring some ugly spots. Kofi looked fine on Raw but like he's finding his rhythm again after being out for a while with the elbow injury.
The finish saw Summer Rae distract Kingston with either a fake injury or just an outright freak out and that allowed Fandango to toss Kofi into the ring post.
Back in the ring and the leg drop from the top got the pinfall.
Renee Young backstage with Daniel Bryan and she's wondering how he feels about Vince McMahon and John Cena's comments on Raw.
He says he's never changed who he is to get to the WWE but one thing he will change is history when he wins the WWE championship at SummerSlam.
Oh, and "THE BEARD IS HERE!"
Daniel Bryan vs. Wade Barrett
Barrett's entrance theme is god awful. He's also freshly shaved and looking like a child. "Is that Wade Barrett's son?" asks JBL.
It's a short match punctuated by Barrett getting just enough offense in to break out a razor in an attempt to shave Bryan's beard. Hey, this is actually turned into a mini-storyline. Wade is bitter about getting his beard shaved off.
In the end, Barrett tapped to the Yes! Lock.
"Daniel Bryan's incredible roll continues," Cole says.
Renee Young backstage for another interview, this time with Damien Sandow. Naturally, they roll footage from two weeks ago with Sandow diving into the Gulf of Mexico.
He silences her before she asks her question and launches into a tirade.
Oh dear god, he breaks out a new briefcase. It's no longer blue, instead made of wood and looking clean as can be. It's a beaut, actually.
He'll cash it in later on and will become the new heavyweight champion of all the unwashed masses.
Kane vs. 3MB
We're actually getting a 3-on-1 handicap match here between "The Big Red Monster" and "The Greatest Jobbers Who Ever Lived."
Cole explains the "Ring of Fire" stipulation and specifically says it's so no one can leave the ring and no one can enter. Basically, it's so we can get a real good look at Bray Wyatt in his first match on the main WWE roster.
Despite the fact that it was 3-on-1, it was a squash. Kane just beat the shit out of all three guys, pinning Mahal at the end.
After, Wyatt comes on the titantron to cut a promo. He digs Kane, he likes his style, but that ring of fire won't save him at SummerSlam. Before long, that fire will turn against him.
"You're fire fears me, Kane. It's afraid of me because it's smart enough to understand that it can never, ever, ever hurt me. Here's a secret, Kane: I am already dead. I'm already dead."
This guy is awesome.
Nifty camera work during the promo.
Back in the ring, Kane does the fire from the ring posts gimmick.
They do an interview with Brock Lesnar, a pre-tape where they could edit and re-shoot if they needed to.
The material is good and the delivery is fine, but Lesnar is very clearly reading off a teleprompter and that's taking a lot away from the impact of his words.
Essentially, he's The Beast but he's also The Best and the only reason he let Punk exist in this world is out of respect for Paul Heyman.
But that's gone now, and now it's personal between himself and Punk. At SummerSlam, he'll show why he's the best.
Christian vs. Alberto Del Rio
Cole is scrambling to make sense of the fact that Christian is getting so many non-title matches against Del Rio. After all, how do you explain it away when he wins? Cole's argument, essentially, is that two wins in a couple weeks will give him a big mental edge heading into SummerSlam next week.
Yeah, I guess that'll do it.
Not surprisingly, the two are working a strong match. Christian is one of the best enhancement talents in the history of WWE. Sure enough, he gave Del Rio an outstanding match with a lot of near falls and false finishes.
The crowd was super hot for it, too.
The finish saw Christian get a quick roll up that got the three count. Del Rio kicked out RIGHT after the ref slapped the mat for a third time and he's snapping about the loss.
Del Rio gets back in the ring and Christian hits a Killswitch on him. As if he couldn't look worse.
Christian bails to the back but they stick around long enough to make it seem like something's up. Sure enough, Sandow's music hits to almost no reaction and he comes out with a referee. He acts like he's going to cash in but they never ring the bell because Cody Rhodes is out to put an end to that.
Because of course Rhodes doesn't want the guy he's facing at SummerSlam to be the world heavyweight champion. Of course.
I mean, I guess his hatred is just that strong, right?