WWE Friday Night SmackDown comes waltzing back into our lives tonight (Aug. 16, 2013) from San Jose, California, with a taped show on the SyFy channel featuring the go home show to the SummerSlam pay-per-view (PPV) this Sunday night in Los Angeles.
If you're the impatient type and wish to read full spoilers for the show you can find out exactly what goes down by clicking here.
Either way, come back here at 8 p.m. ET for the SmackDown live blog.
WWE SMACKDOWN RESULTS AND LIVE BLOG FOR AUG. 16
Broadcast is live.
That line is getting a pop more consistently as the Wyatt Family becomes more of a staple on WWE programming. Their kicking off the SummerSlam go home edition of SmackDown says quite a bit, too.
An awesome little video package on Bray Wyatt's feud with Kane runs while he makes his way to the ring and they get set up inside it. This time, the rocking chair is in there with Harper and Rowan standing behind Bray.
It's story time now.
Bray talks about a young boy who used to get picked on for just being himself, a special little boy who decided one day he was going to change the world. He was going to one day make everything different but instead of changing things, he ran away and found another little crutch to hide behind.
And this crutch allowed him to be whatever he wanted to be. And this crutch was a mask. And behind that mask, he gave himself a new name.
And that name was Kane.
Basically, this Sunday night he'll show Kane that one man's hell is another man's paradise. Follow the buzzards, big red.
Cue the pyro in the ring posts. The Wyatt Family looks to the ramp but Kane attacks from behind. He takes out both Harper and Rowan, leaving Wyatt alone in the ring.
Bray invites him in with a delicious smile and arms wide open. He wants this.
Kane climbs in and slashes his throat, tribute to Undertaker. Wyatt sees this, gets upset, and charges. Kane gets the upper hand before the others get back in and the heels take over.
Bray does the upside down corner spot then hits Sister Abigail.
Damien Sandow is out with his brand new briefcase. Unlike so many before him, he frequently opens this one, though it's only to get out the handcuffs he carries with him to lock his briefcase up to the ringpost so no one can steal it.
Gotta love continuity.
Damien Sandow vs. Christian
It was a solid match that saw Christian in control at the start before Sandow took over late. Ultimately, Christian got a roll up for the pinfall and even speared Sandow when he tried to attack following the match.
Then, Alberto Del Rio hit the ring to attack Christian from behind.
"You will never get the gold, Christian. Are you going loco? This is what it is. This is the end of the road. You will never be world heavyweight champion again."
Del Rio set him up for the Cross Armbreaker and Christian reversed it into the Killswitch. He left him lying in the ring, too.
Rob Van Dam is backstage for an interview with Renee Young. He talks about his match with Dean Ambrose and she wonders if he's worried about the rest of the The Shield getting involved.
He says he's not, and that's because there are two giants who have his back, as Big Show and Mark Henry come into the picture.
Show speaks, saying he came back because he's got unfinished business with The Shield. Henry says the same and reiterates that RVD will have nothing to worry about Sunday because they've got his back.
I smell an angle.
They'll all have a match later tonight anyway.
Kaitlyn & Natalya vs. AJ Lee & Layla
The reaction Kaitlyn's music receives on SmackDown, a taped show, is always a million times bigger than it is on Raw, a live show. Hmmmm.
JBL calls AJ and Layla "two car wrecks in one garage."
Your typical tag match involving Divas. All the offense looks terribly awkward but those delivering it look great. The finish sees Lee hit a Shining Wizard to get the pin after Layla helped out with the referee distracted.
Oh man, Ryback is doing an interview with Renee Young and he's wearing a vest with jeans. He's mocking her and before long, he's beating up a production guy for laughing at something he said.
One punch. "Oh, you alright man?"
Another punch. "No, really, are you okay?"
Chucks him over the table. This is great. He's actually like a real bully now.
Oh, but BE A STAR, kids.
The Shield vs. RVD, Mark Henry, & Big Show
Reigns is now using a superman punch with frequency, and he makes it look good. This was your usual six-man tag match but much better than normal because, well, The Shield are incredibly awesome at everything they do.
That includes selling. With Show and Henry throwing them around, everything looked good.
The finish saw Show beat a 10 count as the legal man on the outside, climb back in the ring and hit the WMD on Ambrose before tagging in RVD just before he hit the Five-Star Frogsplash to pin Ambrose.
Intrigue for Sunday night!
The Miz vs. Jack Swagger
Naturally, we get the Zeb Colter promo before the match. This time, he's bagging on Hollywood and how fake the state of California is and all that good stuff. It's amazing, though, that whenever he asks for the people to stand up, put their hand over their heart, and recite "we the people", the majority of the audience goes right along with it.
That goes to a deeper psychological need for people to abide by orders from people in perceived positions of authority, but it's still stupid as hell.
Anyway, Swagger beats the shit out of Miz for a bit before the comeback, when Miz hits his big spots. Well, most of them. Antonio Cesaro interferes at one point and the referee decides to toss him. Colter protests too hard and the ref tosses him too.
"Why would he do something like that? What a power hungry ref!"
JBL is awesome.
Meanwhile, Swagger is distracted by all this and Miz rolls him up for the pin.
Curtis Axel vs. Zack Ryder
This wasn't much more than a squash match. Ryder is a jobber and Axel is the Intercontinental champion who has absolutely nothing going on right now, not even a feud of his own. He's only marginally connected to the CM Punk-Brock Lesnar issues and that's only because he does Paul Heyman's bidding every now and again.
After a commercial break, Axel is nowhere to be found and Heyman is left in the ring with a microphone so he can cut a promo on CM Punk. He admits to being outsmarted on Raw this week. But because of that, the roles have been reversed. At first, Punk was the one out for revenge but now it's Heyman out for revenge and that will come in the form of his BEAST, Brock Lesnar.
Daniel Bryan vs. Wade Barrett
This is a no disqualification match and it's coming on with a full 25 minutes left in the show.
About 10 minutes into the match, Vince McMahon's music hits and he comes down in the most ridiculous looking jacket in the history of time. Oh man, he's the best character in WWE history, I don't care what anyone says.
But what is he doing here?
Vince doesn't actually make his way out to the ring, instead stopping in the aisle and observing the action from there, all the while looking really worried about the fact that Bryan is winning handily. When he puts Barrett in the Yes! Lock, McMahon yanks the referee out of the ring before he can call for the bell when Wade taps.
Bryan isn't happy about this development.
Meanwhile, Barrett hits the Bullhammer and McMahon calls for another referee. Oh look, it's Brad Maddox rushing on down. He counts but can't get to three because Bryan kicks out.
Shock from all parties.
Barrett gets countered by Bryan and a big head kick leads to another pinfall attempt but Maddox won't count this time. McMahon waves him off and now Bryan is really pissed. The crowd starts chanting for Triple H.
While Bryan is distracted by Maddox, McMahon sneaks Barrett a kendo stick. He misses anyway, hitting Maddox in the corner, leaving all the referees out of commission. Barrett tries to put Bryan through a table but gets countered into it himself, breaking it in the corner.
McMahon on the outside rips off a referee shirt and goes to climb in the ring to officiate himself but suddenly Triple H's music hits and he's wearing the white and black stripes. Into the ring he goes and Bryan hits a flying headbutt on Barrett.
"The Game" counted it clean and that's that. Vince is none too pleased with this development. Meanwhile, Triple H does the "YES" gimmick with Bryan in the ring to a raucous ovation from the crowd.
As Triple H is leaving and Bryan is celebrating in the ring, Randy Orton's music hits and he comes out to the ramp to remind everyone that he's still got that Money in the Bank briefcase.