WWE Friday Night SmackDown comes waltzing back into our lives tonight (June 28, 2013) from Columbia, South Carolina, with a taped show on the SyFy channel featuring a Dublin Street Fight between Sheamus and Damien Sandow and a "Fiesta Del Rio" with the world heavyweight champion.
If you're the impatient type and wish to read full spoilers for the show you can find out exactly what goes down by clicking here.
Either way, come back here at 8 p.m. ET for the SmackDown live blog.
WWE SMACKDOWN RESULTS AND LIVE BLOG FOR JUNE 28
Broadcast is live.
Is that a new open they're using? Or have I just always been late to the party on Friday night?
We'll start with the Dublin Street Fight.
Sheamus vs. Damien Sandow
Sandow is out and chiding the crowd for using the word "y'all," which isn't actually a word at all. What is a word is "ignoramus," which is what all these people are.
When he's done with Sheamus, they won't call it a Dublin Street Fight, they'll call it the Sandow Street Fight.
They've got a lot of props around the ring featuring stereotypes about Dublin. At one point, Sheamus hit Sandow with a beer keg before going under the ring to get what JBL called "an Irish sack of potatoes." Sure enough, he hit "Damo" with the sack before grabbing a potato out of it, taking a hearty bite, chewing it up, and spitting it straight in Sandow's face.
That's the good guy in the match, folks.
Credit the bookers here, at least, it's not a one-sided match. Sandow is getting his licks in, for sure. Ultimately, though, Sheamus emerged victorious after a Brogue Kick.
Kane is hanging out backstage when a whistling Daniel Bryan shows up. Kane gets in his face and says if he came in to brag about what he did Monday night, Kane doesn't want to hear it.
Then again, congratulations on the win, what a huge upset.
"Upset?!?!? What upset?!?!?!?"
Kane isn't happy with Bryan's reaction and they start arguing. Kane says he's got a match with Randy Orton tonight and Bryan is stressing him out, so he needs to leave.
Bryan doesn't, of course, making a snide remark while sitting on the high horse his Raw win over Orton provided him. He also claims he can help Kane tonight, if he needs it, because he'll be on commentary for the Kane vs. Orton match.
A replay of the CM Punk segment with Paul Heyman replays leading into MizTV, with Heyman as the special guest.
Miz wonders why Heyman no longer wants Punk and Brock Lesnar as a tag team. Heyman says he doesn't want to talk about his personal life. Miz brings up the fact that Heyman bullied Renee Young on Raw and does Paul want to try to do the same to him?
Naturally, Heyman slithers his way out of it just before introducing "a man who could bully you," Curtis Axel.
Miz says Heyman is the walking version of Star Wars. He sounds like Yoda, smells like Chewbacca and looks like Jabba the Hut. Which means Axel is Luke Skywalker ... "You're not your father."
Okay, that last line was actually good.
Axel gets the mic and condescendingly asks Miz if he really thinks he can take the Intercontinental title from him. The belt means a lot to him and he takes threats really personally. Miz wants to get really personal then.
Heyman starts mocking Miz, going into his catchphrase before Miz cuts him off and completes said catchphrase. Just as he's getting done, though, Axel kicks him in the knee and hits a sweet twisting neckbreaker.
They replay AJ Lee doing a parody of Kaitlyn this past Monday night on Raw. That leads to AJ coming out for her match with Natalya. Before they can begin, though, AJ's music plays again and this time Kaitlyn is out dressed as Lee.
She talks about AJ having made her way through the locker room, you know, a bit of slut shaming and all that. She proceeds to say there are rumors that AJ has been boning down with the timekeeper, the ringside physician, and even Lilian Garcia.
Finally, the match starts, and after AJ hits a suplex and looks up to the ramp, Kaitlyn skips around the ring, distracting AJ enough to allow Natalya to roll her up for the pinfall victory.
Lee argues with the referee and her doing so means Kaitlyn can sneak into the ring and hit her with the spear just as soon as she turns around.
Big E. Langston drags AJ's lifeless body out of the ring and takes her to the back thrown over his shoulder.
Teddy Long is on the phone backstage and he's upset with someone, saying he's about to make a big announcement. Before he can, Vince McMahon shows up and says the WWE championship Money in the Bank ladder match is being called "All-Stars," what with the bevy of big name talent within the match.
So what is Long's plan for the world heavyweight title Money in the Bank ladder match?
He says he wanted to give an opportunity to a "future player."
Wade Barrett, Jack Swagger, Antonio Cesaro, Fandango, Dean Ambrose, Cody Rhodes, and Damien Sandow is the list of guys, the "up-and-comers," who are in the match.
McMahon likes it but won't leave until he teaches Teddy how to properly pronounce Fandango's name.
Daniel Bryan is out for commentary and he actually got a legitimate entrance. That's awful nice. As usual, he gets the crowd worked up into an absolute frenzy.
Kane vs. Randy Orton
Before they ever started with the match, Bryan got plenty of chance to interact with JBL and Michael Cole during entrances, with both guys getting one, likely to give Bryan that time, and he was, of course, entertaining as all get out.
He also came out and said he's no longer identifying himself as the "weak link" after he made Orton tap out on Raw. He brought up the fact that Orton may have only tapped a couple times in his entire career.
Well, if you're out there with a microphone and they're giving you the floor, you might as well go nuts putting yourself over.
The finish for the match saw Orton hit the draping DDT, which caused Kane to roll to the outside. He sold for a short time, but the referee was only to the count of four or so when Bryan came up and rolled him back into the ring while saying "you can do it, Kane."
This led to Kane getting hit with the RKO just as soon as he stood up. That was enough for the three count after a decent match.
Kane was upset at the result and made it clear to Bryan, who walked backwards up the ramp with a smile on his face.
Ryback vs. Justin Gabriel
This was a straight up squash match. Short and painless.
Actually, it wasn't, as Ryback sold a leg injury. Before he could head up the ramp, Chris Jericho's music hit and he came out mocking "Big Hungry," saying they should change Ryback's name to "Cryback." Jericho leads the crowd in a chant and Ryback looks legitimately upset.
"Maybe if you want to cry, I'll come and give you something to Cryback about."
Ryback tries to bail out and Jericho runs him down. They battle for a minute and Jericho gets the best of him. Ryback manages to escape, though, and he backs up the ramp while nearing tears shouting that he should be WWE champion.
The Shield vs. The Usos & Christian
The match has been good, not up to the normal standards of a Shield match, but it's been good nonetheless. As is usually the case, the action breaks down and everyone is sent flying all around. Rollins hits an awesome top rope plancha on The Usos, who had taken out Roman Reigns, but that left Dean Ambrose alone in the ring, where he would turn right into a spear from Christian.
Surprisingly enough, that got a pinfall. And the crowd went insane for it, though they could have piped in the noise. Even if they did, the reaction seemed really big on television, because everyone legit looked like they were going crazy over the babyface victory.
Reigns and Rollins got back in the ring really pissed at the fact that they lost and no one on commentary seemed to make a big deal of the group losing as a team for what, only the second time ever?
Seemed like an odd booking choice but came across well on TV and Ambrose and Christian have chemistry together. You can bet they're headed for a feud.
Time for the Fiesta Del Rio.
Ricardo Rodriguez mocks the crowd for not having enough enthusiasm going along with his introduction of the world heavyweight champion. That's actually a great way to get them to turn against a gimmick WWE had been building as a babyface thing the crowd should be going along with.
Del Rio is out in a suit and his old entrance with rent-a-cars appears to be dead and buried.
For his promo, "ADR" says he wants WWE to turn on closed captioning because he's only going to speak in Spanish tonight. The fans boo and start a "U-S-A" chant, one Del Rio laughs at before launching into his native tongue.
He's getting no heat because of it. They're in South Carolina, after all. No one gives a shit about this guy speaking a different language that probably 50 of them can understand.
I shit you not, his promo ends and a pinata is lowered. He knocks it down while fans chant "bor-ing" at him. He says he wants us to understand why he did that, back speaking in English. He did that to the pinata the same as he did it to Dolph Ziggler; bashed its brains in. He did it at Payback and he'll do it again at Money in the Bank so he can remain YOUR world heavyweight champion.
Del Rio brings up the fact that Ziggler said he was going to crash the party, so why doesn't he just come out and face him. This does indeed bring out Dolph, wearing a suit with a pink t-shirt underneath and a very serious look on his face. At the top of the ramp, he ditches the jacket and some accessories before hitting the ring and wrecking shop.
Rodriguez goes through the table with the food spread out while Del Rio takes the Zig Zag. Dolph grabs a guitar and goes to attack Del Rio with it, but he runs off through the crowd, leaving Rodriguez in the ring with Ziggler.
Guitar shot, one that looked and sounded brutal.
Ziggler celebrates with the Big Gold Belt, shouting "this should be mine."
After all this, balloons are released on the crowd and the mariachi band plays while Ziggler strums along and JBL sings from the commentary desk.
That'll do 'er.