WWE SmackDown returns to the SyFy channel this coming Friday night (March 8, 2013) from Albany, New York, but the show was taped, as usual, on Tuesday night. That means full spoilers are readily available, if you're the impatient type who doesn't want to wait a couple days for the payoff.

Unwrap that present early (via details from PWTorch.com):

- The show kicks off with yet another promo from The Real Americans, Jack Swagger and his xenophobic mouthpiece Zeb Colter, only to finally have it interrupted! It was of course cut short by Alberto Del Rio, but unfortunately, all he actually did was show a video parodying Zeb & Jack by their shed, instead.

(1) WWE tag champions Team Hell No (Daniel Bryan & Kane) def. the Three Man Band (3MB: Health Slater, Drew McIntyre & Jinder Mahal).

(2) The Ryback caught a win over Damien Sandow this time around.

(3) World Heavyweight Champion Alberto Del Rio disappointed & insulted Show Off fans everywhere by defeating Dolph Ziggler via submission in a mere 15-minutes via... armbar, of course.

(4) In a non-title match consuming about one minute of airtime, Tamina Snuka beat Divas champion Kaitlyn.

- Fandango vs. Justin Gabriel, was set, but did not happen. Of course it didn't happen. Once again Faan-daan-go! was a NO-GO!

(5) Mark Henry split Yoshi Tatsu's wig, of course.

(6) The main event of the night featured Sheamus vs. Big Show. The Shield attacked both opponents causing a No Contest. In obvious booking, Orton then rushed out from backstage to even the odds to close the show with a Six-man brawl, of course.

That's it for SmackDown, Cagesiders. How does it sound to you?

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Bonus Dark Match: Ryback & Randy Orton & Sheamus beat The Shield (via DQ) when Shield used a chair around the 10-minute mark, of course...