WWE SmackDown returns to the SyFy channel this coming Friday night (March 29, 2013) from Hershey, Pennsylvania, but the show was taped, as usual, on Tuesday night. That means full spoilers are readily available, if you're the impatient type who doesn't want to wait a couple days for the payoff.
Unwrap that present early:
(1) The Rock cuts a promo on Cena, only to be interrupted by John Laurinaitis. Rock and Laurinaitis with a brief back-and-forth where Laurinaitis says John Cena's the reason he was fired. He also wants to be in Rock's corner at WrestleMania. Rock says to let the people decide, they boo. Rock says he and Laurinaitis should send Cena a message together but they need a handshake first... Rock lays Laurinaitis out with a spinebuster and a People's Elbow. Rock pulls a giant Hershey bar from under the ring, signs it and gives it to kids in the crowd.
(2) Chris Jericho defeats Wade Barrett. Post-match Y2J states he'd rather face the IC Champ at WM29, but will be facing Fandango instead... he of course makes fun of the name, the Fandango props hit, he comes out, he leaves.
(3) Promo for Lesnar vs. Triple H with Paul Heyman and Matt Striker is shown while weight lifting competition is set up for Mark Henry and Ryback.
(4) Ryback and Mark Henry score the same on the strong man weight-lifting competition to smash the NFL record set in 1999, in a controversial finish WWE.com hypes as follows:
"Mark Henry and Ryback broke the NFL Combine record for the 225-pound bench press with a stunning 53 repetitions each during a sold out television taping of SmackDown in Hershey, Penn., on Tuesday night.
"The World's Strongest Man crushed the record of 51 reps, set by Justin Ernest at the 1999 NFL Combine. His count nearly stood at 54, but WWE referee Scott Armstrong elected not to count the final lift."
Booker T and Teddy Long of course remind the manbeasts of their no-contact policy, as Henry promptly drops the weight bar across Ryback's neck, who rolls around choking, unable to complete his last rep.
(5) Mixed-Tag Match: Dolph Ziggler, Big E Langston & AJ Lee vs. Kane, Daniel Bryan & Kaitlyn, has Kane giving the boot to Big E and Kaitlyn pinning AJ for the win.
(6) The Shield cuts a promo on the big screen against Sheamus, Randy Orton and Big Show for WrestleMania.
(7) Jack Swagger vs. The Great Khali in an unwatchably awful match, both counted out, Swagger Patriot Locking Hornswoggle, and Ricardo then taunting Swagger to come git him. This is merely so ADR can sneak into the ring and put the armbreaker on Zeb Colter while Ricardo then hits him with his crutch. Swagger back in the ring in time to be hit by Del Rio.
(8) Backstage Interview: Sheamus, Orton and Show; followed by Twitter hype of Arnold Scwarzenegger inducting Bruno Sammartino.
(9) 3-on-3 Match: Cody Rhodes, Damien Sandow & Antonio Cesaro vs. Sheamus, Big Show & Randy Orton: Sh-Ort-Show get the win of course. The Shield then appears, only to be chased off into the crowd, chased down, caught and beat down. Sheamus, Orton and Sheamus pose at the top of the stairs victoriously to close the show.
That's it for SmackDown, Cagesiders. How does it sound to you?