WWE Monday Night Raw comes waltzing back into our lives tonight (April 1, 2013) from the Verizon Center in Washington D.C. featuring the go home show to the WrestleMania 29 pay-per-view (PPV) extravaganza scheduled for this Sunday night in East Rutherford, New Jersey.
All the big boys are coming out to play for this one: The Rock, John Cena, Undertaker, CM Punk, Brock Lesnar, Paul Heyman, Triple H, Chris Jericho, Daniel Bryan, Kane, Dolph Ziggler, Ryback, Mark Henry, Big Show, Randy Orton, Sheamus, The Shield, Wade Barrett, Antonio Cesaro; all of 'em.
Come right back here at 8 p.m. ET when the Raw live blog kicks off once the show starts on USA. It will be below this line here.
WWE RAW RESULTS AND LIVE BLOG FOR APRIL 1
Rex here. Let's mark out with our snark out.
Apparently the Heartbreak Kid will be making an appearance tonight according to video package at the start of the show.
John Cena is going to start us off tonight.
"I stand in the middle of a house divided."
Apparently the arena is filled with Cenacrats and Rockpublicans. John Cena is just too clever for his own good.
Cena respects the Rock for his supestardom and having accomplished everything that he said he would.
Cena is taking some shots at Rock's juvenile humor.
"Rock is the great one but the Great One will fall"
The loss to the Rock will haunt him for a year, like Cena's loss did last year.
Rock's first defense of his fancy new title will be a loss.
"The mighty Rock will experience failure."
Cena won't replace the new title.
Boring chant erupts and Cena just stops and waits it out.
He says he will be the champion again.
Jerry Lawler is recording a Tout. Ugh.
3MB vs Team Superfriends (Sheamus, Orton, Big Show)
Slater vs Orton starting things out.
Orton with an early suplex and whip into the corner.
Sheamus gets the tag and hits a shoulder block from the outside.
Slater fights back and tags in McIntyre.
Sheamus hits a powerslam on McIntyre.
Mahal and Slater with the distraction that allows McIntyre to hit a misle dropkick.
Mahal tags in and gets some offense in before tagging in Slater.
Slater is kicking Sheamus in the corner.
Sheamus with an Irish Curse Backbreaker and gets the hot tag into Big Show.
Slater tags in Mahal.
Show just destroys Mahal.
Slater and McIntyre try to fight Show but they eat an RKO and Brogue Kick respectively.
Show hits the WMD on Mahal for the win.
Team Superfriends wins by pinfall.
The Shield's music hits and they make their way down through the crowd.
The stop midway and just stare intensely at the Superfriends.
Ambrose has the stick and he makes fun of them for taking out 3MB.
"The Shield isn't going to leave you with anything to celebrate"
Rollins on the mic now.
He says they know the truth.
Reigns takes the mic and says they know they aren't a real team. They aren't a unit and because of that they will go down.
Colter and Swagger are at the National Mall and going on one of their usual rants.
Del Rio with Matt Striker in the back. Del Rio says that Swagger can say whatever he wants because of freedom of speech.
Pretty sure he just called Colter "the Jumanjii Guy".
Del Rio says he gets to shut Colter up tonight and will do the same to Swagger at Mania.
Dolph Ziggler vs Daniel Bryan
Ziggler with early control and is working an arm lock.
Bryan fights out and slingshots Ziggler into the corner.
Bryan with some kicks.
Ziggler whips Bryan who does his backflip and tries for a No Lock but doesn't succeed.
Bryan with a surfboard stretch.
Ziggler gets out and hits a neckbreaker and follows it up with a dropkick.
Bryan gets a inverted stretch on Ziggler using the ropes. Pretty cool spot there.
Big E and Bryan stare each other down.
Ziggler with the Zig Zag for a two count as we head to break.
Back from break and Ziggler has the headstand handlock in.
He transitions to a chinlock.
Bryan counters and goes to town with kicks.
He hits a huge kick to the side of the head and goes up top for a flying heabutt. Ziggler rolls out of the way however.
When both men recover, Ziggler with the sleeper hold.
Bryan reverses into a sleeper of his own but Ziggler is able to drop him back to break the hold.
Bryan tries for the No Lock but transition to a pin attempts. Ziggler bridges out of it.
Bryan and Ziggler with a big collision in the ring.
AJ skips around Kane which distracts him long enough for Big E to crush him.
Bryan attacks Big E but Ziggler gets the roll up for the pin.
Ziggler wins by pinfall.
Big E enters the ring to attack a confused Bryan.
Kane comes in and starts to clean house but Big E counters Kane's chokeslam attempt into his finisher. It was pretty impressive.
AJ grabs the titles and gives them to Ziggler and Big E.
HBK! HBK! HBK!
Michaels gives a quick rundown of the card and starts to talk about the Lesnar-HHH match when HHH's music hits.
He makes his way to the ring and gives HBK a hug.
HHH says that before Michaels starts to lecture him, he needs to know its a different situation.
HBK admits its a different situation because Lesnar is a ruthless machine. He says that HHH loves the business more than HBK ever did.
"At Wrestlemania you didn't put your career on the line. You put your life on the line"
HHH says that HBK won't talk him out of it.
HBK responds that he came to tell HHH that he better "kick Lesnar's ass" and that he will be in the corner.
Lesnar's music hits.
Lesnar comes out with Heyman. Heyman has the mic.
Heyman promises that Lesnar is going to beat HHH into retirement.
He states that HHH will disappoint everyone in his life.
Heyman taunts them both and they both takes their coats off.
Heyman says they fight from emotion, which is their weakness.
Wade Barrett vs Zack Ryder
Miz is on commentary.
Ryder gets some early offense in with a shoulder block and a dropkick to the outside.
Barrett recovers and hangs Ryder up on the turnbuckle in the ring.
Barrett with some elbow drops.
Ryder is caught up in the ropes and eats some knees from Barrett and a big boot that sends him to the outside.
Barrett starts jawing iwth Miz.
Back in the ring and Ryder uses the distraction to take control.
Ryder unloads in the corner and hits the Broski Boot for the two count.
Barrett with spears in the corner. Ryder tries to counter but gets dropped in the middle of the ring.
Bullhammer Elbow for the win.
Barrett wins by pinfall.
Team Brickie in the back and Santino interrupts.
Santino says that he saw McMahon and he is raging.
Brickie starts to freak out and Santino says it was just an April's Fool Joke.
They book him in a match.
Santino vs Mark Henry
Santino tries to throw a hook put misses.
Some quick roundhouse kicks and Henry grabs him.
Santino threatens the Cobra and gets his wig split for his trouble.
Mark Henry wins by pinfall.
Ryback hits the ring and Henry has the stick.
He says that Ryback shouldn't be threatening him because they have a no contact clause.
They known that they both want to get their hands on each other but all they can do is smile.
Ryback picks up Ryback and uses him as a weapon and then tosses Santino out of the ring and Henry.
Striker with Punk.
Punk says that he cares only about his legacy.
"Undertaker is only concerned with Paul Bearer's waking up every morning streak that is now over"
Punk says that he is solely focused on beating the Undertaker and is of clear mind. Something that the Undertaker is not of right now.
Zeb Colter vs Alberto del Rio
Del Rio sent Ricardo to the back but Ricardo came back out.
Del Rio faking some single legs and giving his chin out for Colter.
Swagger attacks Ricardo and Del Rio makes the save.
Colter takes a crutch and nails Del Rio with it twice.
Del Rio takes control of the crutch and threatens Colter but Swagger attacks him from behind.
Colter gets the other crutch and they both go to town on Del Rio.
The ref finally gets them to stop after a ton of shots.
The Rock makes his way to the ring and takes what feels like ten minutes.
He has the mic but is just standing there doing nothing.
He finally speaks and says that the fans and him have connection.
The will of the people is bigger than any of us can imagine. We can change the world.
Rock says he will be moving into the White House in 2016.
"From President Barack to President The Rock."
He starts talking about John Cena being not ready and duraflaming the title.
Goes through the millions schtick.
He says that Cena will not get the redemption he is looking for.
The Rock and the People are too strong for Cena.
Do you smeel yada yada yada.
Antonio Cesaro vs Chris Jericho
Jericho with a hip toss and Cesaro counters into a side headlock.
Clothesline to Jericho and then a tackle into the corner.
Jericho with a dropkick.
Cesaro takes back control with a couple of slams.
Jericho works Cesaro up to the top rope and hits a huge hurricarana for a two count.
Fandango's music hits and he hits the scene with his dance partner.
Jericho is just watching from the ring and talks to the reg about it as we head to break.
Back from break and Cesaro is in control with slams.
They make their way out of the ring and Cesaro slams him into the barrier.
Fandango has score cards in his hands. AWESOME! Can't stop laughing at it.
Jericho takes control and hits a lionsault. Fandango gives him a 3.
Jericho tries for the Walls but Cesaro pulls out an impressive counter into a gut wrench suplex.
Jericho hits a crossbody from the top rope and Fandango gives him another low score. Jericho ends up dropkicking Fandango.
Cesaro uses it to go for a roll up but only gets a two count.
Jericho with the Liontamer for the win!
Chris Jericho wins by submission.
Fandango attacks Jericho after the match and hits his Leg Drop from the top rope. That is a pretty leg drop.
Two officials get him away from Jericho and he hits the top rope leg drop again.
He poses over Jericho and says "IT'S FAAAAAANNDAAAANGOOOOO"
Funkadactyls vs Bella Twins
Clay, Tensai, and Rhodes Scholars are ringside.
Naomi and Brie start thinks off.
Naomi with Rearview and a very nice hurricaranna.
Brie takes control and starts working a series of arm locks.
Brie with a slam and then works in a shoulder lock.
Naomi makes a comeback and gets in the hot tag and Brie tags in Nicki.
Cameron with some flying clothesline and a hurricarana.
A split axe kick to Nicki.
Nicki gets involved to break up the pin attempt.
Everyone not active in the match start to scrum a bit.
Crossbody from Cameron that gets countered into a roll up for the win.
Bellas win by pinfall.
GONG! GONG! GONG!
Undertaker says that Punk is going to be punished for his disrespect.
He says that the Streak may end but Punk won't live to talk about it.
Some monk like church music breaks out and out come some robed men with torches.
After a few minutes of this, and Paul Heyman dressed as Paul Bearer (including make up comes out)
Undertaker approaches the men and goes after one of the robed men but he got the wrong one.
Punk blindsides Undertaker and starts to beat him down. He takes the urn from Heyman and continues to assault Undertaker with it.
Dueling Undertaker and CM Punk chants erupt.
Punk opens the urn and empties out it's contents all over Undertaker. Punk starts rubbing the ashes all over himself as we fade to black.
See you for Wrestlemania